Sports have rules
Down to every little detail
Zoned in and ready to go
You do this and this happens
There are memorized plays
Your mind reacts automatically
Rules
Every game has them
I'm good at body control
Now, controlling my emotions
That's a different story
I wish life was as easy as sports
In life, theres endless possibilities
You do this and you have no idea what happens
Baseball, volleyball, and hockey
I can play all day long
Life
I'm sick of it already

Silverstein, Linkin Park, and Drop Dead Gorgeous
Bands that turn my blood to sludge
It moves like molasses through my veins
Slow and painful
My heart bursts from the build up
Lyrics that speak in a spell
Curse my soul and pierce my eyes with tears
Sickening my rotting guts
Clever perfect words
I wish I could say these words
When I'm stuck in situations similar
These songs tell the story of my life so clearly
Explanations from random places
To tell the world I must
But I remain expressionless
No need to cause unwanted attraction
Wishes of disappearing over take my dreams
Little specs of repair filter through my thoughts
And yet I still have no proper plans
I get crazy ideas and pray that they work in my favor
Hope to God that something comes of it

I have this plan
And it's all I have to depend on
It makes me sick to my stomach thinking it through
Emotions at their extremes
Failure battles success
This tug of war is tearing me apart

Call me ******* to my face
Tell me how you really feel about me
We need to talk to each other
Talking about each other to other people will never get us anywhere
I need to grow up and handle things better
I need to stop and think about what's most important to me
I'm a coward
I seriously need to learn how to reach out
Expression
I'm a blank screen
I never convey anything
Or at least I haven't
It's probably too late now
But I want to tell you something important
It's only 3 words
3 words too many
I swear I mean it
I kno you're done listening
All those tears I shed
They were real
I don't cry unless I mean it
I can't cry on purpose
I'm afraid
I really am afraid to tell you
Cause I fear that it won't mean anything to you
But again I'm afraid not to say anything at all
I can't just let go
Losing you...
I don't want that to happen
The saying really is true
About how you don't kno what you have till it's gone
I need to find respect in myself
To give to other people
I need to find understanding
People have reasons for what they do
Ugh
I'm an idiot
It's true that I can't possible hate anyone more than I hate myself

Is it that hard to be straight up with me?
What are you beating around the bush for?!
There's really no point in fooling me.
Saying something to make it sound like something else
Half truths
Complete lies
Whatever bro
Lead me on
Shut me down
It's all a game, right?
I'm just not good at it
Can't be gullible in this game
That's how you lose
You can't go blind
See what you wanna see in something that isn't
You fool yourself
That's how you lose
Honesty is key
Be honest to yourself
Which will lead you to be honest to others
Lying
We all know that lying is the shovel to the hole we dig ourselves into
Yes it might sound right at the time
Protecting someone
From what?
Getting hurt later?
Might as well get it over with
It only hurts worse later when the truth comes out

I want to melt into you
Lay my cheek upon your chest
Dissolve my emotions in your shirt
Whisper to you that you're the best

Cuddle up to greater warmth
Hold me close like precious treasure
Eyes closed to savor this moment
Fingers play alone for pleasure

Immobilized by your magical touch
Continuously I grow fonder
Drastic desires flood my mind
Pull me, bite me take me yonder