I sought for it all day - under chairs
And abandoned buildings, behind counters
And book stories...  Not anywhere it was, only a fleeting feeling
The undescribeable confusion
Of being tangled with you
Now all I feel is steel
The cold surface ******* at my core
And so we go on towards the unknown
Of whether the universe will keep us tangled
So little is in our control
I chose to trust it

Did I hear the f word
Slip off your lips?
Oh no honey
Don't kid yourself
I stand firmly on this
Ground of mine
And see clearly who f is and is not
You got no gene or strength
To do all those boring
Silly things
Hold care be loyal be reliable
You grasp meaning in those...
Rattle in the wind
The f you are for no one  
When you aren't F for yourself
So here I am
Holding on to the truth
And an honest promise
Calling us partners in
Heavy knowledge
My shoulder is here
For you
For the sake of
Humanity
No sentiments
I will rely on you
When desperate to fall
Face down into a puddle of mud

I'm not sure
What I'm looking for anymore
I just know
That I'm harder to console
I don't see who I'm trying to be
Instead of me
But the key
Is a question of control

Can you say
What you're trying to play anyway
I just pay
While you're breaking all the rules
All the signs that I find
Have been underlined
Devils thrive on the drive
That is fuelled

All this running around
Well it's getting me down
Just give me a pain that I'm used to
I don't need to believe
All the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve
Something that rings true

There's a hole in your soul
Like an animal
With no conscience
Repentance unknown
Close your eyes
Pay the price for your paradise
Devils feed on the seeds
That are sown

Can't conceal what I feel
What I know is real
No mistaking the faking
I care
With a prayer in the air
I will leave it there
On a note full of hope
Not despair

All this running around
Well it's getting me down
Just give me a pain that I'm used to
I don't need to believe
All the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve
Something that rings true

Kettle that holds in the steam explodes
Kettle that controls it best is most functional
Never hold it in
Always control HOW you express it

Drop after drop after drop of days
Going by in a chain from better to worse
To better with hope
Get used to reality
Predictability
Responsibility
Try harder to keep trying
Not dying in the relaxed state
Of nothing else to gain
Vital not to loose
The light of the watchtower
That you knew was built for you to find
Only for you...
All alone in the watchtower...
Maybe some day
For today, wherever those muddy feet of mine
Will take me
I wish not to be alone
I wish to share my reality
I wish to break the bubble
That appropriate place
Of perfect composure
I wish to break into song like
A melodramatic Broadway fool
I wish to jump in the puddles
I wish go scream alive into the wind
To feel it tearing at my desperately joyous seams
I wish to be touched by another's breath
I wish to be needed and
Stretch out my hand
Give it my all to be there
For anyone else but me
Most together there could ever be
Under the same sun
Breathing the same air
Walking the same ground
Wishing to be seen