It’s the place we live
A place of treachery
A place of trembling hope
And sorrow

A place where centuries of salty tears
Have cried the oceans high
Where the pines, the redwoods, and the oaks
Have fled high to the skies—learning from their earthly mistakes

I want to know it all
But I know I never will
And I want to feel strong
But a feeble human existence can never fulfill

And when the thorn ******
That’s when I’ll feel pain
But to the pain I feel when I lose you
Every few months-it is nothing

You were here on the first day
And we know-- and He knows
You wont be here for the last
But I hope you will be, for the talks in between

We don’t really talk about it
Instead we talk to talk intelligently
And I like that
And you like that

And that is why we’re the same
I wonder when I’ll have faith
Perhaps, when you have faith
Have faith in me and have trust in my words

Sorrys spread themselves wide—too wide
With every rise of the sun and turn of the tide
Despite the try, despite a determination of independence
They are taken

I worry I lack some sympathy
For I did not cry the day I heard
But you do not cry on the days you die
And you die for quite a few of them

Do you know who knows?
Or do you not care
Does it matter?
For me, it does, and you know, and he knows, and she knows

I scoffed the day I heard you believed
I laughed that I figured you a man of reason
You said you could be both
I still scoff

When I shall count the stars
When I shall breathe evenly
When I shall free the butterflies from the pits of me
That’s when I shall—when I shall free you of the blame

I know you deny it
And you may right not deserve it
But when I’ve read of all the little live things
We too, will be alive

Do you count your lucky stars
Or do you rest assured
I call the arrogance a bluff
I call it today—for tomorrow

The blanket of grey
Which comforts me so nicely
Will always remain a compliment
A compliment, remembered, and not deserved

It’s a humbling experience to realize
Not one idea you will think
Will ever be
Original

And it’s a disappointment to realize
Some ideas
Ideas of others
You will never even think

In that I call injustice
But no one will make it just
And I will rest aside
Quiet… less than robust

My existence is frightening
So is yours
So is his, so is hers
Though arrogance makes for a fantastic façade

And we’re all incredibly concerned
That today will be lost before we have achieved something--anything
Yet too distracted by tomorrow
We fulfill the prophecy, and yes, we lose today

Pride is a thing to tussle with
I want to be proud, but more so, I want you to be proud
Of me
We’ve been told to not be so proud

To be humble and oh so very honest
Though those before me have proved, time, time again
That to be anyone and to get anywhere,
Humility just won’t do

And that’s the juxtaposition I live
The contradiction I’ll never escape
How to make it all of worth
While upholding a worth of self

Your mood changes with the moon
And I try not to mind
For I know that mine
Is as steady as the tides—not very

I always despised Them.
Despise not Fear.
I always hated Them.
Hate not Dislike

They bring Chaos.
Chaos not Insanity.
They are Pandemonium.
Pandemonium not Confusion.

They are Feared,
By many whom are ruled.
They are the Rulers,
That proclaims Sanctuary.

Now?

They found Me...
Through my Disdain.
They Found me...
Through my Hatred.

I am Now,
One of Them...

I was Feared.
I am Feared.
I Fear Myself.
I am Fear.

They needed one last One
They needed Four.
I am Four.
I am Death.

I help bring Chaos.
I am part of Chaos.
I am Chaos.
It drives Me Insane.

I bring Pandemonium.
I am part of the Pandemonium.
I am The Pandemonium.
My Identity Confuses Me.

Now?

I am Starting,
To Enjoy this Fear.
I am Adoring,
The Chaos.

I am Loving...
The Insanity.
The Pandemonium.
The Chaos.

I am Embracing It...
You should too.
You cannot Hide from Us...
We Will Find You.

Through Disgust.
Through Hatred.
Through Dislike.
Through Fear.

Through Chaos.
Through Pandemonium.
Through Insanity.
Through Confusion.

There is no Sanctuary.
None for You.
It is all a Lie.
Embrace It.

Do Not Run.
There is nowhere to hide.
We Will find You...
Even when Both of Us are *Dead.

Maybe it was the gun hidden beneath
Or perhaps the words used to trick and deceit.
I fell off the cliff, abrupt, through the dark.
Fallen, I fell. Forgotten and lost.
I chose to climb and regain my feeling.
Paralysis isn't simple when love's the reason.
I loathed to focus my fate and hold on to pulse.
Risen, I rose to stop this horrific curse.
Maybe it was the gun hidden beneath
Or perhaps the words used to trick and deceit
The protagonist I stand to take on the world,
In reality it was you but you were just one world.
Chosen, I chose to hold on to whispers.
It was me who had to realize the truth from the giver.
I needed a reason to feel the commitment;
The gun shot from you is what made me resilient.
Maybe it was the gun hidden beneath
Or perhaps the words used to trick and deceit.
Either way the afterlife I was given
Gave me a reason to pursue a life worth living.

The only way in which this love story is unrequited
Is that he loves her, but she hates herself

When I look at my sister
I see nothing but beauty
But when I look in the mirror
All I see is nothing but ugly

I'll never be more
Than what I am

I'll never be sure
Of what I see
I'll never like me

I feel so unattractive
I feel like my mirror
Is secretly laughing
And all my friends
Are secretly gasping
Wondering how
My mirror
Isn't already
Showing signs
Of cracking

Her mother pushed religious ******* down her throat
But she refused to listen
Her mother pulled her hair and took away her hope
But she had accepted long ago her mothers love had conditions
Her mother always let her get caught in the crossfire of her anger
But she just locked herself in her room to forget
Her mother constantly called her a failure
But she didn't need her mother to remind her of her regrets
Her mother was fed up with her passive aggressive behavior
But she knew she deserved better than this neglect
Her mother always yelled at her for never talking
And she let hollow silence be her reply
It wasn't until her mother said "You should **** yourself."
That she happily complied

I made a comment about jumping off a building the other day
And you looked at me and said "You shouldn't joke about suicide."
And I completely agreed, suicide is not a joke
But little did you know, I wasn't joking
And even though I smiled as I said it,
I silently begged you to see behind it
And pull me far, far away from the edge
Before I fell where no one could reach me
Because their is a huge difference between wanting to die
And wanting to **** yourself
It can make the difference between life and death
And I'm afraid I've gotten to the point
That I might just want both