I had a dream,
or a vision,
or whatever you call them.

my future,
and guess what love,
you were in it

you made me so happy
I forgot I was numb
you made me so happy
I didn't realize I fell in love

now it's too late
and I've messed up what we had
I'm sorry I still bug you
I just miss having you around

home
is in
your arms

I said I would wait,
and I'll wait forever,
so darling, please,
say yes

the best times I had
were the ones when I was in your arms
when you would say the sweetest things
and you wrote poetry about me
and it made me smile and blush
nothing had ever made me feel that way

I'm not perfect, but you always told me you'd love me no matter what
I believed you
and then, cut to a few days ago
sitting on a park bench
you said a few words
that will forever be engraved in my mind
I held back the tears
because I know you wouldn't want me to cry
but I promise, the second I was alone
those tears started flowing

I thought we'd be okay
I thought we were good
I thought you loved me

Once upon a time
there was a broken girl
so worn down by the world
she couldn't carry on
she tried so many times
to leave this world behind
but she was stuck in a world that broke her inside

she gave up so many times
but convinced herself to keep going
she tried so hard
to make everyone happy
forgetting herself in the moments

much time passed, and suddenly she thought
well this isn't so bad
she left some people behind
no longer sad
she remembered how to be happy
remembered how to smile
found people that made her happy
she kept them close to her heart
she remembered how to love
forgetting all the dark

once upon a time
a girl was hurt inside
she wished that she could kiss this world goodbye

once upon a time
i was that girl
things get better, they do
don't be afraid to take some time

This
Is not my Body
It is both
Familiar and
Foreign
But i know
That i do not
Belong here
So i've tried desperately to escape It
i am not welcome
For this is not my Body
Not Yet.

I dream of laying in your arms
Watching beauty and the beast
I dream of kissing you
On New Year’s Eve
I dream of the future
And think of the present
And past
But it makes me sad
Because I have doubts that
These dreams
Will come true

Can I say that I expected this?
I know I could never hurt you
So I knew, when it ended
It would be you, that threw the final blow
Can I say, that I knew?
You wouldn’t respond to my I love yous
I knew this was coming
That doesn’t make it any easier
And I know this is better for you
And all I’ve ever cared about is your happiness
But I must say, you’ve done quite the number on me
Built me up to a place I didn’t deem possible
And managed to tear me down with just a few words
I was too insecure
I was never good enough, and for that
I am sorry

I want you
To be mine

i hear Voices
in my Head
they're telling me
i'd be better
Dead

i hope i can trust you
i'll have to find out
so here's my key
open me up
look inside
i can only hope that you'll like what you find
if not
please put my thoughts
back where you found them
do not make a mess of me
although they usually do
please be kind
to my thoughts
and return the key to my heart
once you are done

Shaking in my bed
As I tell myself it’s fine
Try to convince myself
I’m in control
And it’s not my starving body
That makes me sick

a dull ache
I know what this is
this is hunger
hunger is good, in my mind
hunger means you are closer to pretty
closer to thin
but you will never be pretty
because no matter how many
pounds you lose
how many hours you go without eating
how many bones I can see
it will never be enough
never
I will still look in the mirror
and see nothing but ugly
nothing but fat
I still see nothing
I am nothing

the kiss of Death
something i've been trying
to Achieve
since day one

what i can imagine to be
blissful
beyond imagination
there have been many days
when i have Hoped to see
a shadow
looming over me
taking me away

to a world with no pain
no heartache
no feelings
just the beautiful escape

of nothing

I was planning for this to be
A cheesy catastrophe of emotions
But I refuse to use cheesy metaphors
To describe our love
Because it’s so true and real
And it makes me feel things
I have never felt
And didn’t seem possible
Until it happened

And yes, I’m aware
That was cheesy af
But I don’t care
Because you are my person
My darling
My one love, if you believe in that
My dearest friend
and cheesy metaphors, try as they may
Do not even come close, to describing the way I feel
About you

you’ve written for me
I’ve written for you
you’ve written for many
I’ve written for few
but from the moment I met you I knew
it would only ever be You

Tell me
that all the things you said
weren't true
please
tell me that you don't care
and that you never did
tell me the truth
because it's breaking my heart
tearing it into pieces
thinking about what was said
in our meaningless conversations
because you gave me no reasons
just ended what there was
and i'm wasting tears
on you
so please
tell me
tell me honestly
that nothing you said
was true

It’s the longest day of the year
I spent my whole day
Thinking about you

Written on my arms
Is the pain
Inside me
Written on my arms
Are the struggles
I’m fighting
Written on my arms
Is everything I’m trying to deal with
Quietly
No one knows
What my head is really like
All they see are the scars and ****** cuts
They don’t see beyond that
To the pain hidden beneath