i think i noticed you when all the clouds were forming
above my eyelashes.
almonds, dinosaurs. shaky fingers,
unknown province.

tourist among my terrain.
the grounds are disfigured, but it’s
in between the crowns you find the
gems most miss.
the runnel will flow if you penetrate
precisely.

bars with anonymous desires blatantly
painted across my stomach.
a scarlet E.
for everything. everyone. earth tremors in your pores.
say my name enough times that i see the letters
on your tongue.
awkward puppy love,
i’m whining until you scratch behind my ears,
clutch my scruff hard.

your growls will turn to howls if i try hard enough,
and i feel your frissons entangling with my DNA.
awkward puppy love,
i’m licking your face until you squeeze me,
i’ll give you love bites if you stay one more night.

awkward puppy love,
can i keep you forever if i give you
sheets, sustenance,
***?

i would wrap you in all my sweaters
so i could leave you safe in the notion
that if i can’t keep you warm
my closet can.

brighton,
you made me feel
like less of a cage
for one night
my bars were branches
i have since, however,
thrown away the key.

you,
wore your heart on your knee
we spent three months
in bed
until i found you
washing your sheets
of me.

11am,
you made me impulsive
i knew nothing but your name
we shared our skin for three & a half hours
until i faked a text
and rushed to leave.

one night stand,
and sit,
and all fours,
we were eachothers last resort
it seemed
the whole time
i felt like the aftermath of a catherine wheel
all my charred skin wanted
was to find something for breakfast.

we
found comfort together
2-3 nights a week
only,
momentary comfort left me
with uncomfortable shame
maybe that's why i never said your name
always tried to hide my face.

promised land,
your arms were meant to be a haven
i was supposed to find god in you
we ought to have been scripture
but i am not a holy temple
and i stopped praying years ago.

october
you made me shine
from across the bar
it didn't take you long
to get me into a taxi
didn't take you long
to stain my skin
didn't take me long to let you in
now every time i see you
i know i'll never be clean
again.

words rack my body
like an exorcism
and i fear
if i do not get them out
i might cry

i'd rather swallow my demons
than let you see me
like that.