De nuevo acepté que no va a ser mi nada nunca,
y sí, es triste,
pero no hay nada que yo pueda hacer.

No deja de ser mi amor inalcanzable,
pero sólo deseo que sea feliz,
que esté bien
y yo estaré ahí siempre que necesite a alguien,
incluso si no me busca.

No siempre se puede tener lo que uno quiere,
y lo sé.

Me siento bien con saber que la puedo hacer reír
y que podemos hablar de tonterías y temas profundos,
saber que puede ser ella misma cuando está conmigo
y yo ser yo mismo cuando estoy con ella.
No tengo que aparentar
ni dejar de hacer
ni empezar a hacer.
Me siento bien siendo yo con ella, me quiera o no.

Es lo que le puedo ofrecer.

Sé que he hecho cosas fuera de lugar con ella,
y que quizá lastimaron su perspectiva de mi y su decisión.
Y ella igual ha hecho cosas que me han lastimado mucho,
pero no le reprocho nada.

Sé que ella no es como cualquier mujer que haya conocido,
es diferente,
y, aunque ella no lo logre entender,
es un ángel más allá de lo que deja ver.
Y a los ángeles los adoramos desde la distancia,
nos son inalcanzables,
tanto como ella lo es para mi.

Y la seguiré soñando cada noche,
y la seguiré mirando cuando ella no ve,
y la seguiré pensando,
y la seguiré escribiendo,
pero no es para mi.

Forever and always.
The promise we made,
but who would have known that forever had an end?

I won't say I hate you.
Truth is I don't.
Why do we promise what we can't do?

"I love you forever and always (while it lasts)."
The phrase was there, but left untold.
Now I know this is as far as it goes.

Now go. Don't look back.
After all it was you who decided on this.
I won't stop you. I couldn't even if I tried.

I'm fine. Don't you worry about me.
I'm still there if you need me.
Just call my name.

No hard feelings. No regrets.
I really did love you forever and always...
while it lasted.

Come and take me far away.
I just can't take another day.
I open my eyes to stare into the darkness.
I reach out my arms to grab onto nothingness.

I take another step uncertain of where I stand.
I scream out your name. Please take me out of this land.
My hands sweat, and a chill runs down my spine.
I can't grab my sword. I wonder if I'll be fine.

Silence and loneliness threaten my life.
He's taken the lives of my son and my wife.
And right when the madness is going to start
I feel a cold arrow go through my heart.

I lay on the ground, and I draw my last tear.
I tell you, my princess, you're safe. Have no fear.
Please know that I loved you. For my death feel no pain,
and I promise, my darling, we'll soon meet again.

I can't tell her I like her.

She's been the best of friends lately,
and it's been hard hiding how I feel for her,
but she already has someone.

I can't tell her.
It would **** our friendship.
It would **** what's left of me.

I can't stop thinking about her.
I can't stand the fact that she won't belong to me.
I'm happy that she's happy,
but I'm miserable because of it.

Sing a song, or write a book,
they take and take away from you.

Change this word. Play this cord.
Erase the nudes! Give them some clothes.

Express yourself! Be who you are,
but maybe these clothes will make you look fab.

This is not right. My art is me!
You can't tell me what to be.

I don't want the money nor the fame.
I do this to express myself.

So excuse me while I say goodbye.
You try to **** art, but I bring it to life.

Y he perdido las ganas...
Ya no quiero hacer aquello que antes disfrutaba.
Ya nada me causa la alegría que antes causaba.
Ni la música me consuela.
Ni los libros me distraen.
Ni los juegos me transportan a un lugar sin dolor.
Las palabras que te escribo ya no van a tu pantalla.
Las canciones que te dedico nunca llegan a tus oídos.
Mis caricias y mis besos me los trago con amargura, pues no quieres recibirlos.
Y así me quedo yo sin ganas.
Sin ganas de ver la luz de un nuevo día.
Sin ganas de afrontar las horas en las que estoy despierto.
Sin ganas de moverme, respirar, reír, llorar.
Sin ganas de beber para olvidar tu nombre, aunque sea por un segundo.
Sin ganas de morir para no verte nunca más.
Sin ganas de vivir una vida alejado de ti.
Sin ganas de llorar para vaciar el corazón.
Sin ganas de buscarte para que me rechaces de nuevo.

I've been thinking about her all weekend,
building up the courage to, at least, ask her name.
Eagerly waiting for Monday to come by
to finally be able to see her again.

I put on my best clothes. Put on some cologne.
Struggle with my hair until it looks good enough.
Pick up my backpack, and put on my headphones,
walking to school listening to love songs.

I arrive early. Some friends are already there.
We talk about the weekend, schoolwork and such.
I'm waiting for her with the courage still building up.
I see her in the distance. Here she finally comes.

My mind disconnects; only focus is her.
My heart is about to jump out of my chest.
Rehearse what you'll say. Come on! You can do it!
She's coming nearer. I'm going over there.

Her hair is beautifully messy.
Her shy look lost in her phone.
Her pace is slow yet steady.
Her skin as white as snow.

She looks at me now. It's time to attack.
My face cannot draw but an awkward smile.
I open my mouth so my voice takes over,
but all I could utter was a simple "Hi.".

"Hi.", she replied, shyly, and kept walking.
Yes. I let her walk away yet again.
Guess I didn't build up enough courage,
but I won't lose this one. Not this time. No way.

Here I am again.
Back at the beginning.
I was so close to winning,
but it was all in vain.

I climbed the highest mountain.
I beat the fiercest opponents.
Who'd believe those moments
would all end up in pain?

The closer I got to the goal
the better I started to feel.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I turns out I fell to the hole.

Here I am again.
Back at the beginning,
but this time I will be living.
This is my new aim.

This letter I write to myself.*

Accept it. It's over, and it's never happening again. Did you really expect it to work out? Did you really think lives change for the better that fast? Did you really think you wouldn't **** up?

You always expect too much from people. You believe in the kind nature of humanity not realizing it only exists in a select few. You have to stop being so naive.

You knew she was too good to be true. Sometimes it's wise to listen to reason instead of the heart. The heart is a selfish entity that tends to take us down uncertain paths that, mostly, end in pain.

Well, now it's time to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and move on to the next path. It'll all be better before we know it.

Another day spent without you.
No. There was nothing I could do to talk to you.
Do you wanna know why I'm so persistent?
Y**es. I'm still in love with you.

A bench. A lonely bench I found in the park, isolated from the rest of the scenery. Shy, hidden from the rest of the world. Out of sight.
Perfect.
   It is wet from the heavy rain pouring down on us both, and, still, I sit on it. I take out of my pocket a little poetry book. It's pages barely staying together. I open it right on my favorite poem. I read it over and over again, even though I already know it by memory.
   I read and read, staying always fixated on the same page, on the same poem, always on the same bench under a never ending, heavy rain.


   A playful dog found its way into my hideout. It has no collar, no leash, no bonds to anyone or anything. It sniffs my hand. It looks up at me. It barks. It leaves.
   He didn't find anything worthy of its attention. Just an old man sitting on a bench, with some wet paper in his hand, blank and unreadable. Lifeless.

   Everything lifeless.

Love me. Love me!
Why won't you love me?
I bought you flowers.
I gave you that what you asked for, and more.
I gave you my life. Put it in your hands.
Why would you shatter it?

Fine!
I don't need you.
Someone else will love me.


Will you love me? Please, love me.
Why won't anyone love me?
What is wrong with me?
Is it the way I dress? My ugly smile?
My tearful eyes? My loneliness?

Please, love me.
I need your love.
I need love.
I need...

*I need.

Fate work in misterious and ironic ways.

The date: December 8th.
The year: 2004.

A date famous (or infamous) for a sad and terrible assassination.  Five bullets shot. One legend lost.

Fast forward exactly 24 years. A guitar master, some even would say a guitar god. The man who told us metal wasn't dead back in the 90's.
Four years prior, his band split up. One sickened, twisted fan didn't like the news.

December 8th, 2004. Columbus, Ohio. Damageplan playing a show.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Fifteen shots fired. The killer shot down. Four fatal victims. One more legend lost.

On this night most remember Jonn Lennon. I remeber him too. But let's not forget our other fallen brother. Dimebag Darrell Abbott, we remember you.

Rock in peace.

Paris

The city of *love.
A city so beautiful, so elegant and classy, filled with history and such a rich culture that it is impossible to take it all in on your first visit.

This city is the destination for many tourists all year round, and rightfully so. There's something for everyone to enjoy.

But how to spend a night in Paris?
Why not enjoy a nice cup of coffee in one of the many cafés around the city? Or perhaps you would enjoy a glass of wine, while listening to some jazz or piano music?

Speaking of music, why not go to a concert in one of the many venues scattered around the city? Maybe you'd like to listen to some jazz. Maybe you have a taste for an orchestra. Maybe you're even in the mood for some rock music. Paris has got you covered.

Or maybe you're a sports fan, and you'd like to go to a football match.
France is known for its very competitive football league, and Paris is home for the world famous Paris Saint Germain. Why not attend a match at the Stade de France?

But if what you like is ******, explosion and a round of bullets, well, look no further. Paris is the place for you!
Enjoy a thrilling terrorist siege at a concert venue, where bombs and automatic rifles are the main attraction. Make your way through lifeless bodies as you desperately try to find the exit. You can even be taken hostage, if you like!
You say you like suicide bombings? Experience one first hand as you fall to the ground and cover yourself from the debris. You might even get wounded for an added sense of adventure.

So come down to Paris.
*We've got everything for you.

A**gain I dreamt about you, and, in my dream, you did it all over again. You tried to get back with me (as if we had ever been a thing), but this time I wasn't so sure about it.

You leaned in for a kiss. Our breaths synchronized, harmoniously fused into one. As your lips gently caressed mine, I found the strength in myself to say no. I wasn't going through it unless I knew you were commited to making it work... You weren't. When I saw you next, you were already with another guy. I woke up, mad at myself for having dreamt about you one more time. I guess it won't stop happening soon.

Anyway, this is it. This is the last letter I'm writing to you. I don't even know why I did this, but I did. I just wish you the best, and tell you not to worry about me. I'll know how to move on

I see her
lying on my bed
tempting.
So desireable.

My heart races
as the woman I love
takes her top off,
seducing me with a single look.
Kissing my neck,
she's gasping for air,
and whispers into my ear,
"Take it all off".

Her eyes inspecting
my naked body.
Her fingers
trace my every imperfection.
My fingers stroking her
perfectly smooth skin.

She pushes me down on the bed,
and soon follows me to it.
Skin on skin.

One deep breath,
hold it in,
and let it out, moaning.

One same heartbeat.
A chorus of synchronized
voices,
rhythmically singing in
the language of love.

Her body slightly twitches
****** after ******.
Her eyes look at me
with a burning passion
that her lips seal
on my chest.

Two souls, naked,
stripped of any earthly chains,
only to become
one again.

Si la lluvia cae desde las negras nubes hasta el verde césped, creando un nexo entre el cielo y la tierra, amantes distantes y enemigos cercanos destinados a compartir una misma existencia, ¿por qué no podemos tú y yo?

Las palabras que no he dicho se agolpan en mi pecho y me abultan la garganta, pero no las libero, trago saliva y las envío a la ***** de mis dedos, desde donde explotan en el papel y dejan un rastro de sangre, a veces negra, a veces azul. Una escena de un crimen con un único sospechoso: mi corazón, el cual llevo siempre caminando a mi lado y detrás mío, ignorando sus avisos hasta que se detiene, se ancla en un lugar e irrumpe en mis pensamientos nublando mi juicio, alterando mi razón, destruyendo mi consciencia.
Grito en silencio mientras te veo reír. El estruendo de tu alegría enmascara mi desdicha, y casi lo prefiero así.
Eres el secreto que no logro mantener. El cristal oscuro detrás del cual me escondo sin darme cuenta de la transparencia de mis miradas, de mis risas, de mis manos. Eres el perfume de mis sábanas, la colilla de cigarro aún encendida que inicia el incendio involuntario que consume mi interior. Eres vida y eres muerte, y el suicidio que cometo a diario voluntaria y egoístamente. El arma homicida yace en tus labios, en tus brazos, en tu piel y en el pecaminoso pensar del cual soy víctima.

¿Cómo es entonces que te debo olvidar? Las espinas no sueltan mi espíritu decaído. Las llagas en mi piel no sanan si les echas de nuevo sal, pero sálame la vida, pues tu fiel seguidor soy.

First tone...


Second tone...


"Hello!"
She picked up.
I had been trying to talk to her all day long, and had actually been waiting to hear her voice all week.

We haven't really met yet, but we've been hitting it off lately. So much so that I can hardly think of someone else. I even see her wherever I go, despite her living in another state.

I really love her voice. It sounds so warm and sweet. The inflections she makes get my heart pumping faster, and my knees go weak. And then she starts talking in this silly yet adorable way that just makes me melt.
I'm also happy to say I was able to make her laugh. We both laughed and laughed throughout the whole call. There was not a single dull moment or awkward silence. I had to keep her laughing because that laughter kept the smile on my face alive.

"Do you realize we've been on the phone for over an hour now?"
She said to me as I realized how long it had been, even though it had felt like much less.
"I wish I could stay longer, but I really have to go. I don't want to, though."

Our goodbye took another half hour. Neither of us wanted to leave.
We were having so much fun.
We were so comfortable with each other.
We were falling for each other.

But the call had to end. I said my goodbye for the night. I was also brave enough to say an "I love you".
She said she did too.


Call ended.