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Krusty Aranda Aug 2016
I'm afraid again.*
Could I trust myself this time?*
I'll have to find out.
Krusty Aranda Aug 2016
If I ever hurt for you,
it would mean I loved you right.
Krusty Aranda Aug 2016
I couldn't hate you*
That is a fact

We have a kind of history
An odd one at that, and yet a fun one
We started out great
I was the new kid in town
You were the girl unlike any other
Kind of cliché if you ask me, but that's how it went
We met, we talked, we kissed
It was bliss, but one that wouldn't last long
On and off and on again
Until it wasoff for good
Distance
Evasion
Realization and forgiveness
Taking up the routine once more
We were friends again
Colleagues
Until, without warning, I remembered
The laughter, the warmth, the beauty, the love I had felt
It was back
And I waited
And I feared
And I longed to be with you again
You can't always get what you want
But I had learned
I had grown
I gave you my blessing and stepped aside
Until you came back
Unexpectedly
Surprisingly
And I choked
I was shocked
I was happy again
Bliss

So here we are
A long time after I first tried to hate you
Fact is I couldn't hate you
Not even if I tried...
Krusty Aranda Jul 2016
Will you be my midnight conversation?
Will you be my 7 a.m. dream?
Will you be a meaningful elation?
Will you be my darkness and my gleam?
Krusty Aranda May 2016
There she is
There she is right there
But I'm too shy to dare
To dare to talk to her
Krusty Aranda May 2016
She's got me against the ropes.
I'm subdued by the spell she put on me.
I can't break free.
Hit me once. Hit me twice.
Yet I can't seem to hit the ground.
I take one blow. I take two blows.
The pain grows bigger while I get smaller.
Caving within myself I can't stop loving her abuse.
Or is it even her that's killing me at all?
Krusty Aranda May 2016
How can I learn to love someone, and not how to love myself?
I'm insanely in love with her.
With her eyes.
With her smile.
With her laugh, her voice, her skin, her hair, her soul.
So why can't I love myself?
Love myself enough to not put myself through the pain my love being unrequited.
Love myself enough to accept that she won't love me.
Love myself enough to stop fooling myself into believing I can make her fall for me.
Love myself enough to give myself some time alone. Trully alone.
How can my heart belong to everyone but myself?
Why do I give myself away for the wrong people?
These questions I've asked myself for years, and still I haven't found the answer to any of them.
She's so important to me, and I know she cares, but not as much as I care for her.
I know it, or at least my mind does.
My heart refuses to understand.
My heart won't let reason take over for as much as a second.
I love her so much.
I'd give it all for her.
So why can't I do the same for myself?
Why can I love her, but not myself?
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