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Krusty Aranda Mar 2015
And so it happened once again.

I could not fight it. I'm weak.
I could do nothing but give in.


She wrapped my arms around her,
and rested her head on my chest.
I held her hand,
and we started to get closer,
and closer
until our lips met.

I took a deep breath,
and she rapidly stole it from me.
She had me gasping for air.
Her lips had that hint of tobacco
I so desperately craved.

I could not fight it. I'm weak.
I could do nothing but give in.


We stopped for a second, and gazed at each other
in the dark of the night.

I laughed.
She kissed me again.

I took a deep breath.
She stole it again.

I asked if this was real.
She signed her reply on my lips.

One morning later
she still has me thinking about her.

*I can't fight it. I'm weak.
I can do nothing but give in.
Krusty Aranda Mar 2015
Again I find myself sitting in this lonely room,
listening to the empty echo of my own thoughts.

Day after day the same routine:
Get up.
Conceal yourself.
Go to bed.
Repeat.

This machine is fully functional,
yet lacks a definite purpose for existing.
It only takes up space.

This loneliness I can bear no longer.

I run to get the nearest blade.
It is rusty and old.
As broken as my own dreams.
I hold it shakingly between my fingers.
I draw a crooked line upon my wrist.
Before I know it, ink is gushing out of the wound.
It keeps on pouring until it leaves me dry.
It floods pages upon pages with words,
with phrases,
with verses.

These same pages remind me of wounds long healed.
Of the struggles I've been through to end up where I am now.

The pages tell a unique story.

My story.
Krusty Aranda Mar 2015
I want to be alone
with my
thoughts.
Krusty Aranda Mar 2015
I am so afraid of what could happen, yet I'm willing to go the distance because the possibility of finding happiness is worth the risk of being sad.
Krusty Aranda Mar 2015
Sometimes,
to keep going forward,
you first have to take
one step backwards.
Krusty Aranda Jan 2015
I'm usually not afraid of many things,
but there is one thing I am utterly afraid of.

One might think I'm afraid of the dark,
or maybe I'm afraid of heights.
Some would guess I'm afraid of spiders.
All of these guesses, while possible, would be wrong.

What I'm most afraid of is death, but not death itself.
I'm afraid of dying, and not being able to let her know.

I'm afraid of how she will find out I'm gone.

Will she read a post on facebook?
Will she see it on the news?
Will a friend just tell her?

Will she even find out at all?

Will she text me a million times,
and get mad at me for not answering back?
Will she think I'm mad at her?

Will she cry for me?

Will she be at my funeral?

Will she miss me?


That's the thought that cripples me at night.
Krusty Aranda Jan 2015
If I had known that I would still love you today,
I would've done so much more to keep you around.
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