Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
k o s m i k Mar 2018
The rain is pouring hard today, and I am not with you. My thoughts linger and find you still, though. It is the time of the day when the sun has just finished setting, but a little light still hangs on to the sky ready to sleep. I imagine the world being wrapped in a humid coldness, with you and me living in it. I can see you and me in your single bed, with our skin cold from the weather, with the evening chill clinging onto your bed sheets. I'm laying on your chest and you're brushing my hair with your fingers. We both have heavy eyelids, remaining quiet so as not to break the white noise engulfing us. I picture you planting a kiss on my forehead. I can see you sleepily smiling from the corner of my eye, with my eyelash brushing against your chin with every tired blink. We stay quiet, but our bodies converse. Your index finger traces patterns on my right shoulder down to my arms. My breath creates warm patches on the dip of your neck. It's dark now. We both have the same thought in mind: this is perfect. But we don't have to say it to let each other know.

The rain is pouring hard today, and I am not with you.
k o s m i k Aug 2015
This.* This is her. This is the girl you fell in love with. And it confuses you so much to see yourself right where you are right now, because you've had your fair share of battle scars and open wounds in this half-struggle, half-relationship. But you're still here, and she's still here, and you're still together. Sometimes you get lost in the middle of your sentences just thinking about the way she never tells you everything, the way she forgets to comb her hair, the way she doesn't like to hold your hands. This is her, and you still have yet to know some things about her that will make you even more baffled.

She's born to walk the face of the earth, to explore the world and all its nooks and crannies. She's made to take care of herself; she spends her time writing paragraphs about the places she's never been to, and how she'll meet people and try to get a place to stay in for the night after wandering around foreign cities. I'm telling you, never ever try to enclose her with your arms, trying to assure her that you'll never leave her and that she is your home. This is her. You fell in love with a traveler, and she'll never stop discovering things. But you're her home, and she always tells you, "Leaving home feels good, but coming back feels even better." And that is when you know she'll stay.

She's born with the sharpest tongue, but with the softest heart. You know this all too well to deny this. All the arguments, all the heavy silences, all the walking away, all the screaming, and all the other things that made you feel so brittle and feeble -- it's all because of her. She has, inside of her, all the words that she knows will break you apart, but chooses to hide them all away somewhere in the room inside her head. She's born to confront, and she does it out of love. She sounds like she has the guts to snap your ribs and kick your teeth out, but the only truth is that she wants you to take her fists and kiss her knuckles. This is her. You fell in love with the girl who can't tell you what the truth really is. You fell in love with the girl who could only use rage to mask whatever it is that's shaking inside her. But she holds herself still and plants kisses on your forehead to calm down, and she holds your trembling bones from the aftermath of her words. She ends up quiet, as if the silence is the only apology she can offer. You need words, but she says nothing at all. And that's when you know she'll stay.

You fell in love with the girl who's got the emptiest eyes among the people you know, but that's only so if you don't look a little closer. She's born to be frustratingly inconspicuous, and you never get a full grasp on her. She's vague, in too deep in the thought of finding whatever it is that she's meant to find, and it kills you to know that you can't keep up. At least, not yet. You fell in love with her -- the girl who never stops making art, who never stops writing songs, who only jots down the sad things and never the happy things. She's born to keep things from other people, especially the ones that she finds special. Her eyes are only the emptiest after a fight, and only the fullest when the tears cloud her vision, forgetting to concentrate on you and the rest of the world. This is her, and it confuses you because you still stay. And then she unravels, and you watch her, like a flower bud opening up in fast forward. She breaks apart in half with sighs and tears, tired limbs and heavy eyelids. She opens up for you to see. Then you remember why you stay. Then you remember why she stays.

This is her, and this is only the tiny part of her quiet existence. And you're still you. This is the both of you, and you can either take it or leave it. There is no in-between.
k o s m i k Jun 2015
do you feel that too? do you feel the sting of the static electrocute our lovelorn lips right after they part? do you feel the pull of gravity when we kiss? it guides our hands to find each other’s necks, and every movement creates heart earthquakes and little soul deaths. do you feel the bumps on my skin as you undress my mind and at the same time, take off my clothes? do you feel your fingertips mark me with potential wounds, but cover them up with warm kisses? you’ve traveled on my body like a clueless wanderer, and you found the places that i hide from everybody else. you’ve touched the parts of me that nobody can see but us. do you feel that too? do you feel the ghosts hide behind the curtains when you say, “you still haunt me in my sleep,” even when we sleep side by side every night? you used to say that the grass and the trees and the leaves and the branches dance for me. well love, they stop all their swaying and twisting when our bodies move together in the dark; we have an accidental choreography to the symphonies that our hearts create. the whole world stops to listen when you say, “you’re beautiful,” and the sky forgets to shine along with the sun when i smile. we are each other’s world; we are each other’s sky & sunshine. tell me. do you feel that too? do you feel the colors splatter your insides when you realize that you’re in love, and when you realize that you wouldn’t know what to do if this love ever falls apart? because i do, love. i feel them all. i feel the static. i feel the earthquakes. i feel the world stop. i feel the clocks stop ticking. i feel everything all at once, even when it only really happens in my mind. tell me, do you feel this too? i feel everything for you.
k o s m i k Apr 2015
i didn't know
that the universe existed
right in the space between our lips
just before they meet
i didn't know
that gravity existed
in the moment right before we kiss
i didn't know
that i could hold so much words in my mind
but walk a straight line anyway
despite of the truth that there is
an apocalypse occuring inside my system
i didn't know
that people could make me feel
like i'm the world
just by telling me that i am
but through whispering into my lips
and through silent conversations
i didn't know
that certain parts of my mind existed
until you walked into it and lit up every corner
until you touched the walls of my skull
exactly like the way your lips traced my skin
i didn't know
that i could have the chance to live
to experience you
to cherish you
to love you
until today
and i swear to my favorite constellation
that it is a pivilege
to have experienced you
to have cherished you
to have loved you
among all the things i didn't know
i am sure of one thing
i know, and i am certain
that i love you
that i am loved
that good things exist because you do
that i can sometimes be the universe
because someone loves me like i am
24 feb '15 / 12:15
  Jan 2015 k o s m i k
Charles Bukowski
there are worse things than
being alone
but it often takes decades
to realize this
and most often
when you do
it's too late
and there's nothing worse
than
too late.
k o s m i k Nov 2014
i'm trying to break the barriers between us,
but my voice isn't loud enough;
scream with me, have faith.
before it's far too late..
before the walls consume us and silence us
for a longer time than we expect...
before i drown myself in the pool of our lost memories,
i'd rather have the walls swallow me.
before i fall apart at the seams
just like the first rose you gave me that withered,
i'd rather let you leave numbly.
before the immortal stillness starts to drip down my neck,
and i'll begin to hear my own cells
crack at the cry of your name...
before the raindrops, the exact replica of my tears,
fall on the ashes of our crowded memories
that are no longer familiar...
before my heroine turns to ******,
before the offsprings of spring decide to kidnap me,
before the hands on the clock choke me...
before my heartbeat turns into electric shocks that fail to revive me,
before the stars in my eyes burn out faster than us...
leave me. leave me numb, alone, unaware.
my body ran out of red, now i'm bleeding hues while waiting for you.
you dug my own hole, you smothered my soul.
they warned me about how you had a habit
of running your thumb against others' lives,
but i wont let you touch mine.
my existence will not be smudged by yours;
leave, before you take over me completely.
k o s m i k Oct 2014
i love you. i do, i really do. and i’m sorry if it freaks you out sometimes, but these feelings are so overwhelmingly strong that it shakes my whole system even after 2 am. i dream of you constantly and it horrifies me because they seem so real — as if i could still feel it, taste it, remember it like it happened yesterday.

i love you, and it’s scary to think that your words can break me anytime, any moment. i am vulnerable to you, and i think it’s both beautiful and sad how i easily & effortlessly gave it all up just so i could be with you. there’s just something — God knows what — that made me want to be with you even though i’m aware that you’re galaxies away from me.

i love you, and i love how i feel beautiful when you say that you are in love with me too. God, you are my favorite. i must admit that i have kissed & loved enough boys to know what brokenness truly feels like, but you mended me just like i’m something familiar, something you’ve been fixing your entire life. it’s a sick, mad world we’re living in, but you make it seem less agonizing whenever i hear you say those three words at 3 am, 4 pm, or 11 pm.

i’m in love with you, and it’s more intoxicating than the cigarettes and the alcohol i’ve taken in my whole life combined, and i don’t even want to be sober. you are the high even without the drug. you are the euphoria even without the ******* (beautiful) fireworks. you are the emotion even without the words.

i love you, and it’s okay if you can’t put it into words — how you feel — because even the silence i spend with you is enough to give me butterflies in my empty stomach. i don’t know what time it is, but it’s past midnight, and i’m still writing about you. i am a mess for and because of you, and my handwriting is proof. you shake my system even when you’re not there, and my dear, this is rare.

i love you dearly, with all honestly, and with all faithfulness. and i can’t help but think about you, every **** day. you’re both my drug and my antidote. my poem. my sunlight, my stars. my soul.

and i hope you love me too, as much as i love you.
Next page