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 Mar 2014 blair asher
brooke
You're an old receipt
from teavana that I
keep in a Legend of
Zelda Lunchbox on
the top shelf in my
closet, faded and
barely visible, you
can still see the date
and the date is what
stills me.
(c) Brooke Otto 2014
 Mar 2014 blair asher
MD
How can I be so quick
To try to end myself
When I'm scared of what will happen
After I see the last drop of daylight

An eternity
Six feet underground
I'm worried that I will be somewhere
Far away from my body
Watching as I decompose
Looking at my skeleton as worms crawl
Over the bones
The bones that were once mine

I want to stay alive
I hear people echo
"I don't want to just survive
I really want to live."
But what if surviving is hard enough on it's own?
What if it takes every molecule of my strength
Just to get out of bed?
What if my past, and traces of it
Including those bits surrounded by ashes
Infect every crevice of my being?
How can I
"Live life to the fullest"
If my body and my mind do not want
To let me live at all?
Perhaps the worst part is
I have no desire
For any Prince Charming
Or dark, mysterious man riding in on a stallion
To come swoop in and save me from myself.
 Mar 2014 blair asher
tiaamaariaa
I could stare at you all day
Just watching your ****** expressions
The way you get so into what you are doing
The way your eyebrows  scrunch up when you are confused
The way you lick your lips
And even the way your eyes glisten when you are watching me
I could never get tired of staring at you either
Makes me feel like I know you better, understand you better
You make me so happy
You don't judge me
I think I might be
In love with you
-te
02/07/2014 J.B.
 Mar 2014 blair asher
jay darling
You once set loose
an army of butterflies
swarming into my stomach
by simply parting your lips
and pushing out every beautiful word
I'd ever wanted to hear.

This happened again,
and again,
until one day,
they filled up every cavern of my stomach
and slowly overflowed into my veins.

Those butterflies carried your love,
and I let them loose through my body because I trusted you.

For a while I lived in complete and utter blind ecstasy
from shooting your love up my veins
and those butterflies drove me insane
in the most beautiful and peaceful kind of insanity
brought on by so much naive happiness.

One day,
I can't remember when,
you began neglecting the butterflies that filled me
from my toes to the smug smile on my face.
I slowly felt those loving butterflies freeze,
and become something else as their wings
--once so delicate and soft enough to tickle me
from the inside and create some sort of euphoric bliss--
became frigid, icy glass shards that slowly began to cut through my veins
and rip me apart from the inside out
until they sliced through my heart just like you did
all because you decided to stop loving me.
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