You're always caught on the wrong end of silence
Disposable
Isn't that the word you used
To describe yourself to her?
But you know you are not trash
Just a piece of hell wrapped into a skin bag
Who always ends up on the wrong end of silence
Part of me, a big part of me,
Is waiting for you to realize that love is useless
When compared to the silence that drowns you
Look around.
Two years of silence from that boy.
Two years.
An abundance of silence
Because
"I had hoped you would have handled this yourself by now."
Until it became convenient for her to tell
And open her mute mouth.
And silence because
What you do is just
Too horrible to speak about
So you, they, shut it away
And look at you now.
Can you even breath under that water?
But people say sound moves slower
Under strong currents and especially in the
Blood like density of this water
Can't you see that no one is coming?
That you are drowning?
No words are coming out towards you.
She's gone.
The silence is real and you
Won't wake up from the dream
Two years later and forgive him.
Won't have to hear her tell someone and
Get what you do on record.
Won't have to listen to a woman
Tell you things you already know.

Anna is gone.
And all you have left is this silence.

I'm getting angry at you again.
I put everything away
I though
Out of sight, out of mind
But you have not failed
To stay in my head
EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY
SINGLE DAY.

You,
             once my  e
                              v
                               e
                                r
                                 y
                                   t
                                    h
                                       i
                                          n
                                            g,

                          are fading, my darling.

I've learned to hate the smell of chlorine
And how my brother is a year and a half older
Then my sister and they are not related.
I've learned to hate a small abundance of things
That I never saw before.
I like how I truly hate pools even though
I grew up swimming. It seems a little too much
Like what they wanted for me
Which was always pretentious and scary
To me.
You've forgotten me, I think.
Like she forgot my birthday one year
And lost that court case,
Again.
That's the way you have forgotten me.
I'll forgive you for it
Regretfully, but I know
You were thinking of more important things
Than the girl who believes you are the
Love of her life.
I guess I always knew
You'd have to come running back because
I am such a hurricane
And I introduced you to my own brand of
Destruction (I guess you could call it)
And you're addicted.
I hate that you corrected yourself
When you called me a type of poison.
I'm venomous. And you knew that, Anna.
I hate how I constantly have to bring you up
So you don't run back here one day and think
That my thoughts have not been
Tormented by the very thought of
You every second of everyday since you left
I can't bear to have you think anything but the truth.
I hate a lot of things.
You and I are both included in this list.
The only dynamic difference is that
I'm also in love with you and I,
Especially together,
Despite my tendency to hate stupid ideas.

You look so beautiful to-night
My angel
Your lips curve and I'm mesmerized
By the way they seem to make my
Name seem important
Even when I've fallen for the way
"I love you" slips off of my tongue
At first glance
I like judging books by their covers
Because, ****, you have your life
Written in your features
And I haven't seen that in someone
Recently and when the abnormal
Mind sees that in a normal person,
They become attached.
You must know Gatsby
And by God you noticed the reference
Will you marry me now?
I would throw out my precautions
For a girl who could
Recognize a quote
From Gatsby and ****, a
Girl who looks just like you.
You're extravagant and
I can't keep my eyes off of your
Everything
Will you be my Daisy?
Will you cuss like a lady when you
Have me at your lips
Because I can't keep referencing
That ******* book
When I'm out of options.
I just had to say you are very
Lovely to-night
And I miss you
But pictures will have to do, my angel.
Be my Daisy?