I need some help
I need to tell someone that I can't keep these tears from falling anymore
I need someone to know that I can't hold it in
I need to tell someone that my demons still won't let me cry
I need someone to listen
I need someone I can actually cry to
I need someone to beat back my demons.

I need the ability to call you and cry because I can't take this any longer.
And I need you to answer
Even though your phone isn't with you.
I need you to help me.
Please, dear God, help me.
I can't take this anymore.
I got blood on the bathroom walls
And it's coming through my shirt
And I'm sitting on a white bed that will be stained by the morning
Because I can't stop bleeding
And I need to cry,
But I can't.
And I need you.
I need you to know that I'm not okay
I haven't been since you met me
And I'm ready for you to know that
I'm broken in ways no one knows
And I want to let someone in
But I want it to be you
And it can't be.

I'm just shattering
And I only know how to pick up broken pieces.

I've always liked rain
But maybe,
After tonight,
I hate it.
Blood is the
Same consistency
And it flows off
My skin in the
Same manner.
So maybe I hate
Seeing rain now
Like I've been
Instructed to
Hate seeing my
Own blood.

I never liked the ocean
And I wish
They could
Understand that
But it's hard to convince
Them when I let
Myself drown
In this mess.

Tell me that you don't want me
Tell me that you think
I'm not worth all the pain
And the ******* fear
Tell me that you can do better
Than who I've always been
Tell me I'm not worth your time
Tell me I was another mistake
Tell me I was just another game
Tell me anything
To make this pain go away.

Tell yourself that you will be okay
Tell yourself that I'm a horrible person
Tell yourself that I'm just
A notch in a bedpost
Tell yourself that you won this round
Tell yourself that you won the war
That I don't want to fight anymore
Tell yourself that I don't want
Any of what you give me
Tell yourself lies until it disappears.

Tell lies to your parents
Tell lies to your friends
Tell lies to me
Tell lies to yourself
Tell lies like you were
Born to **** me off
Tell lies like you do.

It seems to work well.
I just don't want to feel
This anymore.

She didn't stop
Because I was self
Destructive.
She didn't stop
Because her hands
Had touched the
Core of my demented
Existence.
She didn't stop
Because I took a
Sharp inhale of a
Breath at the
Feeling.
She stopped because...

Maybe she should
Have unzipped my jeans
And pulled them off.
Maybe she should have
Walked me over to
A closed door and
Pushed me against a wall
Until my knees buckled
And we sank to the ground.
Maybe she should have
Slipped off my shirt
And felt me up.
Maybe I should have
Let her demons get
Farther than she wanted
Them to.

Maybe she would still
Be mine if my stomach
Hadn't had blades on it
Too many ******* times.
Maybe she would still
Hold me if I hadn't stopped
When she did.

Maybe she'd still want
Me like that if...

No...

It would still be
The same.

The taste of tic tacs on your tongue will always be too over powering. But I'd be okay with it if I still got to kiss you.