There was a guy
in glee club
who was a composer
and had perfect pitch,
who wrote a cool piece
for us glee clubbers
to sing,
so, I liked it,
but there was one part
that the conductor repeatedly said
that the basses,
which I was one,
scooped the pitch,
but, I didn't think so,
so it ****** me off,
and after a performance
we had a party,
and some of us
went out back
to sing this piece,
so, right when we got
to the part
that the conductor
was talking about,
I scooped the hell
out of the pitch,
and the composer
with perfect pitch said
that he would never
perform that piece
again.

So, us guys
in the glee club
all went to a camp,
for an orientation,
and we weren't supposed to bring
any alcohol,
but I snuck in
a twelve pack
of beer,
so one night,
a few of us
were down by the lake,
and I put the beer
in the water
to make it cold,
and me and another guy
took a beer
and went off into the woods,
and smoked a joint,
and he told me
that he was an arsonist,
who liked to start fires,
so we jammed
on a log,
and meanwhile,
some young glee clubber
drank the rest of the twelve pack,
and got drunk
and made a fool
of himself.

In music school,
I had to join a group
in order to graduate,
so I chose
glee club,
not because
I wanted to,
or liked glee club,
but because
it presented itself
to me,
so I loved
to sing,
but I had
a terrible voice,
so one day
we were all asked
to sing one
of our parts,
solo,
so when it got to me,
I sang,
and everybody laughed,
and I was humiliated,
but now,
much later,
I realize
that I would have laughed,
too.

So, I had
a hundred dollars
which I wanted
to give away
to a homeless person,
but since
if you want to find
a homeless person,
you won't be able to,
unless you just happen
to come across one,
so I also
wanted to give away Dharma,
which is the teaching
of the Buddha,
so I went
to a Dharma bookstore,
and asked for Dharma,
and the owner said,
"I can't give you Dharma,
it's everywhere.",
and then he said,
"If you want to give away Dharma,
don't give it to me,
because I'll just get mad...
it's like teaching spirituality
to your mother...
go give it to somebody else",
so I turned
to the lady standing there,
and introduced myself,
and we talked
about her depression,
and I told her about my depression,
and we talked about
our medications,
so I gave her
the hundred dollars,
and she was so happy
that she hugged me,
and I left the store,
and she ran out after me
and told me
that she couldn't take it,
and gave me back
the hundred dollars,
so the moral
of this story is
"All Dharmas Are Empty".

There is
a congressman
in the United States
who has said
that America
has thought control satellites
in outer space
beaming down
thought rays
into our heads,
and I saw this
on the sports part
of the news, weather and sports,
and the sportscaster
laughed
and thought
that the congressman
was crazy,
but what
if he isn't crazy,
and that it is a real thing,
like the delusional crazy people
have known all along,
so, I would suggest
wearing a hat
with aluminum foil
in it,
to protect us
against unwanted
brain farts.

The first problem
that I remember encountering
in life
was restlessness,
and later on the path,
I have learned
that there are two ends
to the problem,
and that
the one that I usually have
is restlessness
when sitting
doing nothing,
but wanting
to do something,
and the problem is
that I don't have good thought,
an inspirational thought,
which will get me out
of my chair
to go and do something,
and we all know
what the other end
of restlessness is,
and that is
when you can't sit still,
you just keep going,
like a chicken
with his head cut off,
and that kind
of restlessness
leads to mania,
while my kind of restlessness
leads to depression,
so the trick is
to control the tempo
of rest and action,
so that you're not
a chicken running wildly,
or you're not
a bump on a log.

Walking up the stairs
out of my new apartment,
I think
I am an early riser,
so I walk
out of the door,
and see the soft pink glow
of the sun
before it rises,
and turn at the road,
strolling up to High Street,
where I cross the road
and walk back
to my apartment,
without having
a cigarette,
even though
I was prepared.