The monk
received
a box
on his birthday,
and it was
a special gift
from his brother monks,
so, he knew
that it was something special,
so, with a little nervousness,
he carefully opened the box
and saw that it was empty,
and with great joy
and happiness
he exclaimed,
"Nothing!
Just what I wanted!"

Well, we all probably hear voices inside,
these days,
so here's a fun game
to play with your voices,
what you could do
is to talk to them
and listen to their answers,
and goof around with them,
and play with them,
and write down
what they say,
and stuff like that,
but just keep in mind
the simple idea
that they are not exactly real
and that what they say
is not exactly true
or not exactly false,
and have fun with them,
so then
you're not crazy,
you're just fooling around
having fun,
so try talking to Napolean
or Buddha or somebody like that
and have fun.
Amen!

They used to tell me,
"Just be yourself"
when I was a kid,
as maybe a way
to act on a date
or something,
so now,
late in life,
I have finally
figured out
what it means,
so here goes -
"Be yourself" means
don't be that other guy
who is yourself,
who is that phony guy
who is yourself,
but be, instead,
yourself,
who is not that other guy
who is yourself,
but be yourself instead,
so you see why
I didn't understand
what they meant,
and that was why
my dates
were all
****** up.

So, the pity ***
is what
they call it,
when you are sitting
on the toilet
of despair,
feeling sorry for yourself,
but not just sorry,
but like you think
of suicide,
but you won't try that
because that's another thing
that you're just
no good at,
so you sit
thinking you are a pathetic loser
because you have lost
at everything you have ever tried,
and you call yourself that,
"...pathetic loser...",
and you think
that since you can't **** yourself,
the only other option
is to go back to drinking,
but the beer
that you just had
is probably the reason
you are sitting
on this ***,
so all is completely dark and bleak,
so bleak that it seems
to everyone
that it can't get any worse,
and that's when you receive
some terrible news
that makes everything more
desperate,
and you seem to know
that every day of your life
has been like this,
but here's the big finish
and the moral
to the story,
and that is
that your life
hasn't really been
that bad,
it's just that
while sitting on the pity ***,
you can't remember
the good parts.

The old way
of ruling the world
obviously failed,
with its history
of war and violence,
so there is a new world leader
who we all know,
and maybe he bugs you,
but you know
all of the leaders
always did bug us,
so I voted for him
and he was George Bush's idea,
so meet the new world leader,
the big giant computer!

Now, let's not lose our heads,
but what if
the government
along with a team
of psychiatrists
and computer specialists
and even military men
were watching us
with the new communication technology
that we now have,
in our homes,
and they were doing
mind control experiments,
like behavioral tests
and tests of our minds,
by using subliminal messages
and watching our reactions,
much like what was done
to terrorists who were in prison,
because they were trying
to determine
if we were dangerous
or if we were sane,
of course,
it would drive us
insane,
so they would conclude
that we were insane
and delusional,
so, let's not lose our heads,
but what if
there was also
a program
of mind altering
weapons
which were being fired at us
from satellites in space
and from anywhere
that they had them,
like was done
in the Iraq war,
and the reason
that they are doing it
is to silence our minds
so that we don't think
and just accept
the subliminal messages.
Well, this is an interesting idea
and I hope you don't panic,
and it could be happening
24 7
but let's not lose
our heads.

Writing poetry
is a hindrance and a help.
The internet
is a hindrance and a help.
Following your breath
is a hindrance and a help.
When you practice spirituality
you will encounter
a hindrance and a help.
The rich people of the world
who think they are winning
because they are so blessed
with piles of money
are a hindrance and a help.
The governments of the world
who are practicing mind control
to subdue the population
by making them crazy
are a hindrance and a help.
Business and government
that use subliminal messaging
to make themselves secure
by making the people insane
are a hindrance and a help.
Life is a hindrance and a help.
Death is a hindrance and a help.
You might say
that it's all good.