I have heard
some people say
that they feel
terrible
when they wake up
in the morning,
and I used to think
that I did too,
so I put
a little Zen spin
on it,
and realized
that the feeling
in the morning
is not terrible,
it is like
being on a lot of
hard-core street drugs,
and I feel
higher than
a kite,
so now,
in the morning,
when I am drinking
my coffee,
I feel ******
out of my gourd,
so that's much better,
don't you think?

A bodhisattva
lives here
on the computer,
along with many more,
and they often
write poetry,
because their hearts
are ****** with pain,
because we all know
that their path
is impossible,
and no one
will be saved,
but they keep trying
and never give up,
because their hearts
are pure,
so I would tell them
not to watch TV,
because saving the world
requires
that we save ourselves,
because once
the man is saved,
the world is saved,
so be peace,
and peace will spread
like ripples.

Throughout my life,
I have felt crummy,
even as a child,
and for all these years,
I have been looking for
a cure for feeling crummy,
so I found one,
tonight,
since I was in
the basement,
feeling crummy,
it occurred to me
that feeling crummy
is the same feeling
as being ******
on many kinds
of recreational drugs,
and the only difference is
that we like to be ******,
but we don't like
to feel crummy,
so all I had to do
was to think
that I was ******,
instead of crummy,
and it worked!
so I became
instantly happier
and felt much better,
so that's my cure
for feeling lousy,
just think
that you are ******.

I think
I have good taste
in music,
since I have studied it
formally,
but it occurs to me
that my taste
is sometimes
in my mouth
and that I am a phony
sometimes
about what
I really like,
for example
I used to listen
to "Twenty First Century Schizoid Man"
and loved it,
but I had
a secret crush
on Captain and Tenneille's
"Love Will Keep Us Together"
and I wouldn't tell anyone,
because it wasn't correct
to like it,
so, I am a closet fan
of Madonna,
even though
I'm not supposed to be,
and liked Prince and Michael Jackson
which, at the time,
I wasn't supposed to,
because if I told
my friends,
they would thumb
their noses.

I saw
Finding Nemo
which is
a Walt Disney movie
awhile back,
and I remembered it
tonight
and the story
that it told,
so the story
is about
being home,
leaving home,
and coming back home,
so I realized
that is
a great story,
so here goes -
"I am sitting in this chair,
thinking,
I'm getting bored of it,
so what's there to do?
I know,
I'll go write a poem,
and I leave
the chair,
and go write a poem,
and then come back
to the chair
and think"
so that's the story
and I hope
you liked it.

There seem to be
three gods these days,
the Good god,
the Bad god,
and the cool god,
and I have been
on the side
of the Good god,
which is the side
of religion,
and that is
the side
that cleans you up,
and that side
is all wrong,
so I have been
on the side
of the Bad god,
and that is
the side
that makes you a mess,
with drugs and *****
and bad ***,
so that is a side
which is all wrong,
but now,
for today
and I hope
for a long time,
I am on the side
of the cool god,
who is the guy
who teaches the people
to be kind
and not hurt anybody,
even though
his followers aren't religious
about it.

The first precept
in Zen Buddhism
is to not harm,
but cherish all life,
and yesterday
I decided
that not only
didn't I cherish all life,
I really didn't like it
very much,
so I got angry
inside
and decided
to give up my Zen practice,
so I did,
for about fifteen hours,
when then
I went back
to doing it,
so I'm a fickle Buddhist,
the mind keeps changing
about it all the time,
but I am also
a die-hard Buddhist,
because I always seem
to go back to it,
but I'm not alone
because the old monks
in the old days
got so *******
about Zen
that they spat
on the Buddha sculpture,
but I haven't done that
yet.