I have discovered sitting outside by the garden on summer mornings as I take photographs and drink tea, stand up and meditate with various hand positions as the neighbor says good morning by saying "Hi, baby duck".
Buddha taught that life is an illusion as did the Beatles so after a nap I woke up facing the gate in my mind of this teaching and instead of not getting hung up I got nervous thinking that this reality as I know it is not real so here I am now on this paradigm of illusion called the computer and sometimes the only way to pass through these Dharma gates is to forget about them.
The computer hums while the mind hisses with the words being only the top of the vastness of the full unseen mind which whirs with activity of an awake dream which states quite frankly what is already known and unknown.
So on the fourth of July I decided to flush Zen down the toilet, to give it up because it has become such a heavy weight and when I did everything seemed like nothing more substantial than water draining through my fingers so that was how I found Zen again.
I believe in attachments like sitting in a chair smoking and drinking while thinking about stuff and I believe in sleep and laziness and I don't particularly like purity or wholesomeness and I don't even exactly practice moderation so I guess that makes me an anti-zen buddhist zen buddhist and I am a good Buddhist even if maybe I'm not.