A squirrel was seen.
Sprawled out on the sidewalk.
Still living.
Muscular, to be able to run up trees.
I was surprised.
Squirrels impress me.
Most think they are funny.
I have not gotten beyond the death of a squirrel.
Watch them run on the wires.
Filled with vital energy.
I wonder if long ago, I was one.
Teeth.

I had a fear of my inside world years ago.
I thought it was my back.
I thought it was dark.
There was trouble in my head.
I thought the scene outside was where it was.
It took much study to once again love my inner world.
I loved it as a kid.
I am a kid again.

I understand
the art
in a blank canvas.

It began with National
     Geographic
and those pictures
     of nearly naked
African women
as I lay on the floor
     of the hall
and from there
     it became
being ****** by a dog
     in the bathroom
to twenty second ***
     with a girl
who said I was impotent
     to becoming
aware that my *****
     was too small
to a statutory case
     where I didn't
     get caught
to a time in bed
     with a girl
who said
     "How much longer
     is this going to go"
to a grandmother
     who put me to work
and the love-making
     was just like that
     some of the time
to a one-night stand
     with an overweight girl
which was the best time
to me thinking
     "I haven't done too well
     with the ladies,
     maybe I should try
     the men"
and then doing so
     and deciding I didn't
     like it
to a few unforgettable
     moments which were
     forgettable
to an illicit affair
     with a married woman
     in motel rooms
to a woman who picked me up
     and said, "Let's be friends"
     and as she was going
     up the stairs
     she said, "OK, let's get
     this over with"
     and I ran outside
     to get out of there
then to twenty-one years
     of celibacy
when I realized
     that my best ***
     was with myself
and so I married him.

     THE END

A friend once said that he never heard a sound that he didn't like.
Some people disagree.
I hear things.
Voices, dogs barking, and the sirens of emergency.
My friend was right about sound.
The pain bothers me.
Oh well, no pain, no gain!

I smell like cigarette smoke.
I sometimes smell like a ****.
Sometimes, I have that, you know, man smell.
I have noticed a musty kind of odor.
Once in a while, I smell like incense.
Breath is disturbing to some, when it comes out of the mouth.
Right now, I don't smell anything particularly.
That's how it usually is.
I don't know what you think.
What do you think?

I know
I am a loser
but in Zen
the loser wins
so you don't have to
**** me.