Lets have a good time for a while, dear,
It will make us both smile, dear,
with your legs apart.
Keep those legs wide, while I get inside you and we'll both feel each other's heart.

We'll *** again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll *** again
One *** filled day.

Keep ******* through
It's what you usually do
'Till your used and full and
Your *****'s flowing away

And I will go down below
To the **** that I know
I'll lick it out it wont take long.
******* all the guys that you know,
But I'll still have a go,
Even if it may seem wrong

We'll **** again
don't know where
not sure when
but I know we'll **** again
And we'll have it away.

And I hope that you know
If you wanted to blow
that I would help you along.
I'll be happy you know.
That your having a go
At ******* on my ****.

We'll *** again
Not sure where
Not sure when
But I know we'll **** again
One **** day

Now here's a ****** story.
I'll tell it if I must.
About an effing ******
A **** with a cheesy crust
Some people have got nice wives
in their eyes a glint
But my old mans misses
Is just an awful ****

My old man's a ******.
He wanks in his ******* hat.
He's got **** stained trousers.
Cos he cant get no ******* ****.

He plays with his banana
While wearing high healed boots
He tried to pull up his small ****
So he yanked it by the roots

Some girls flash their **** at Christmas
Which makes the ****** cough
And when he tries to pick them up
They tell him to *******.
Now one father he got angry.
For squeezing the girls buts
Don't ever dare come back round here
And kicked my old man in the nuts.

Oh, my old man's a ******
He tosses on the mat
He doesn't wear no trousers
When he's trying to **** the cat

my old man's a wrinkly codger.
He's just to ******* old.
Mum wore him out in their younger days
Now he's toothless and he's bald.
Now she's just a fat cow way past her ******* prime.
That's why my old man has ended up wanking all the time.

Oh, my old man's a ***** ******
He groped our friend next door
He pulled down her knickers
Even though she's 84'

Now one day when he saw her
He kissed her by the bin
He hadn't got all that far when she kicked him in the shin.
When her husband came home he shouted "What's your ******* game"
My old man just grabbed his **** and told him " I'll treat you just the same"

Oh, my old man's a gay ****
He touched our neighbours ****
He peeled away his *******
And gave it a good lick

He ****** on our neighbours **** one day it felt so ****** good.
His misses sat there watching But I knew she ******* would
Just from out of nowhere she said " Don't you make him ***"
My old man said "why not" she said "I want to watch you **** my husband's ***"

Oh, my old man's had *******
He ****** the guy next door
His wife was there watching
While he ****** him on the floor

So Next time you see my old man
Looking all pale and spent
Don't you get to close to him
Because he is old and definitely bent

Being a Tampax might be fun stuffed up a **** all day
It may not be that creamy but a bit of reds okay
If you're on your monthly you haven't got much say
At least you wouldn't have someone's ***** getting in the way

White and fluffy I would be soft upon my *******
I would start expanding when you begin your *******
Forcing me to press on your sides much to your frustration.
Because you would be on the blob causing my inflation.

You would probably be upset with that ****** infestation
It may not be much fun for you, the lack of stimulation
If your *****'s full of jam there could be a consolation
Strawberry juice is soaking up not much chance of impregnation

Maybe you could see things from the tampons point of view
It's the only time they get chance to have a **** good *****.
They can't wait to fly of the shelves and go inside of you.
Hurry up that time of month you know what you must do.

But there's definitely a downside to being a jam rag
Even though you'd be up a **** longer than a ****
Like the red and white menstrual show, or a red tipped ***
You'd get too wet and taken out, a used up ***** gag
Mid period you'd get replaced that is the biggest snag
You would smell and get thrown away in a sanitary bag

Juicy goosey gander where shall my hands wander?
up skirts and down shirts and in a ladies chamber.
Many a fair maiden nakedness they'd ponder.
Some with dark ***** hair, some where light and blonder.
Men that they have taken some weak and some much stronger.
And young and agile ridged men those ones would last much longer.

There I saw some old men waiting for their shares
Pulling on their plonkers in their *** strained flairs.
Looking at the naked maidens sitting in their chairs.
Some of them flat chested and some with quite nice pairs.
Some young and beautiful and some of them old mares.
I'm sure that you'd get lucky by showing them your wares.
You can be the chosen one If you can say your prayers
and they'll take you by the middle leg and pull you up the stairs.

Hush you ******* your just a ****.
Mama's going to bring you a big fat bird.

And If that big fat bird is a hag.
Mama's going give you her ring to ****.

And if that tight rings nice to ****
Mama's going to give you her **** to ****

And if those ******* start to choke
Mama's going to give you her **** to stroke.

And if that hot **** is bald as brass
Mama's going to let you lick her ****.

And if that pert **** gets to wet
Mama's going ******* and make you sweat.

And if you *** and sweat to much.
Mama's going to let you sniff her crotch.

And if that warm crouch is to full.
Mama's going get your **** to pull.

And if that **** pull makes you smile.
Mama's going to **** it *******.

And if ******* is so good
Mama's going **** on your manhood.

And if your manhood should go down
Your still the Dirtiest ****** in this town

So hush you ******* don't you cry.
I can always get that fat bird for you to try

Old king Cole was an unpleasant soul.
And a ******* ******* was he.
He fiddled with his pipe until it was ripe.
And he went on a fiddling spree.

Receiving a left hook, when he fiddled with the cook,
she said "your not getting it from me".
wanting to get laid, he tried it with the maid,
in his ******* she did knee.

No cash for a *****, showing him the door,
because he wanted it for free.
Down on his luck, cos He couldn't get a ****,
so he ****** the trunk of a tree.

Old king Cole was a miserable old sole
who ****** an Infested tree.
Dutch Elm Diseased ****, Well what a ******* *****.
so a poxy ****** he will always be.

Little miss muffet sat on a tuffet up her *** hole all day.
Along came a spider, put two legs inside her.
Because he wanted a roll in the hay.
Little miss muffet, told the spider to **** it and to have his wicked way.
She spread her legs wide with a matter of pride.
And the spider had a ******* good lay