Jack and Jill went up the hill to release Jack's ***** water.
Jack went down, under Jill's gown and Jill came not long after.

Up jack got and home he trot, Jill screaming he had ***** her.
sat on his bed,  tears he did shed.
wiping his **** on kitchen paper

Jack sat weeping and upset with his spirit broken
And as Jack cried, because Jill had lied
The door it flung wide open

In she come, it was Jill's mum, who fancied a good ****.
Sat on Jack's ****, like an old sock nothing but a wrinkled hag.

Jill came in and with a grin she took the *** stained rag
And as Jill smiled, she was riled
And threw it at the ******* ****.

Jill's mum got up, off Jack's **** and slapped Jill in the chops.
Jack phoned the law, called Jill a *****.  
And they where taken away by the cops

OH The Grand Old Duke of York he had ten thousand men.
He ****** them all up the **** then he ****** them all again.
And when he was up, he would ****.
And when he was down, out of luck.
And when he was only half way up, his men would have to ****.

I'd like something **** tonight.
So how about some angel delight?
If you get undressed.
cos your naked is best.
I hope your knickers are loose and not tight.
When you do that, I'll stroke your wet cat, and when my ***** at its height.
I'll slip it inside and go in and out, we'll cream a few times before it gets light.
So if you want a good time I'll come round tonight and you can show me your ***.
I'll give you a kiss and a bit of a feel and I'll even have a go with your mum.
And we'll get naked and  both get wet and have some ****** fun.
And hopefully when the end comes, you will have a hot hole, full of creamy wet ***.

What I would not do With a 30 stone fat lass
She'd have big bouncing **** and a ******* ******* ***
Sniffing round her *** crack and her flabby knicker stash
Lapping at her bucket **** her hot wet sweaty ****
******* up her *******, two in her creamy mash
If your not sure where that is, its where she takes a slash

When I pull her knickers off like tents without the poles
then I will have access to her ***** ******* holes
and when I'm up inside her Between those fatty rolls
I'd release those mammoth mounds out of their Playtex Bowls

When it comes to fatty ***** your in for a BIG surprise
There's plenty to grab onto when you squeeze those hippo thighs
It is so delightful you just won't believe your eye's
Cos when you **** a fat girl there's more room for compromise

And While I'm riding on the waves of her belly ripples
Her fleshy thighs around me, surrounding fat that triples
She'd wrap me in her tree trunk legs while I **** her strawberry *******
And she can have a go on top of me even if it cripples

Once her juice is flowing Her **** I'd like to pound
But I would do it ******* just like a rampant hound
Her ***** slapping together her stomach resting on the ground.
And I'd enjoy squeezing her fat bits while ******* that huge mound

I suppose It would be like bonking a king size waterbed
when I finished up her **** I'll **** her **** instead
After I have spunked up and my pencils out of led
I'll stick my fish stained rod in her mouth and she can **** my fishy head

It doesn't matter how fat she is it really isn't valid
Or if she isn't all that healthy, pale faced and a bit pallid
it's probably due to fatty foods and not much in the way of a salad
But after all so ****** what this is a fat woman's ballad

Just because she may not be thin and you may laugh and smirk
Your obviously a closed minded pre- programed Pox doctors clerk
Because I'd rather **** a fat girl than have a **** or ****
So what's the difference how big you are as long as your rude bits work

So if your big and fat, obese or overweight
Let us get together I'm sure it will be great
If you want *** give me a call and we can make a date
come on get your knickers off no matter if its late

And when your sat there naked with your **** upon my middle digit
Knelt in the floor beside you ready with my ridged widget
I hope your not uncomfortable and you don't begin to fidget
Well never mind, its okay I can always **** a **** little ******

Do You Like Bananas?
I Guess It Depends What Kind.
Maybe Its The Ones You Unzip
Who Knows What You May Find?
And Some that are More Interesting
The Ones That Bump And Grind.
Those Ones Are More Revealing When Peeling Back The Rind.
Many A Tossed Salad
Some Fruity and Some Bland.
Some That Are More Juicy
The Best Are Big And Grand
New Members At A Nudist Beach
Those Tossing In The Sand.
And Lots Of Lonely Minions
With Their Bananas In Their Hand.
So Do You Like Bananas?
Its Really Up To You.
It All Depends On What You Like
And What You Want To Do?
And If Your Bananas Ridged
And The Fruit Has Not Turned Blue.
Well, Well, Well The Main Thing Is,
Is When Or Where Or Who?

Never mind watching your P's and ****** Q's.
There are far more obscenities that anyone can use.
Worse letters than Q or P not meaning to confuse.
Many different meanings something you'll have to choose.
So choose your letters wisely there's some you can reuse
And some that are used for insults or a form of abuse
But it doesn't really bother me so I ain't making an excuse
Just use the ones that come to mind and you cannot ******* lose

So you can **** my big fat 'B's' and I can **** yours too
Fingers up my ******* 'A' something we can both do
I will lick your lovley 'C' and mine is like bamboo
Or maybe its a 'D' in my pocket or is it a canoe
If you squeeze on my two 'N's' similar to cashew
Then i will **** your Salty 'S' or the other avenue
And eat all of that juicy 'J' like a **** barbeque
Making all your 'H's' wet so both can get a *****
Allowing me to enter and 'F' you through and through
Slipping in my big hot 'R' deep inside a fishy stew
******* on your succulent 'T's' but none of them are Blue
Not talking of our feathered friends because that's a different crew
And neither is it other birds not parrots or cuckoos
Its a mound of fleshy 'M's' glands that I would chew
So stick your effing Protocols just stuff them down loo
Use the letters that you wish its your own point of view
Once the eggshells are broken its nothing to undo
And **** all that ******-ness don't watch your 'P's' and 'Q's'

I want to meet a lady and to get my **** well shown
Instead of being a ****** and tossing on my own.
With her lips around my shaft to make me ******* moan.
******* on my bell end like a dog with a big bone.
Polishing my helmet to a shiny glossy tone.
So come on girls fat or thin even glass gets blown.
Even if its an older lass or any big fat slags
An old lady with a trolley or one with shopping bags.
A huge woman with hippo thighs a fat **** that ******* drags.
Big juicy melons to **** on like two large fleshy gags
an ugly toothless ***** or any old *** hags
So lets be fair and **** like ***** even smokers get the shags.
even if your homeless then we can surely meet.
And you have smelly clothing your in for a good treat.
I will get my **** out so you can ******* meat.
I'll ******* in an alleyway so we can be discrete.
I will *** inside your **** so you will feel the heat.
But It really comes something when you can have a *** out in the street.
If you want a bit of sparkle then its your **** i will sup.
And your *** is good then we'll definitely Hookup.
I'll release your big ***** from there double D size Cup
Licking on your cherrys just like a little pup.
I'll **** them like a lolly pop a sweet chuppa chupp.
If you want to have ******* then we'll have a 7up.