why am i never enough
for him
for his heart

why can't i be
his dream
his desires

only pushed away
by him
by other affairs

though i do not own his heart
it hurts
it shatters

always the first to confess
yet always telling myself to do less
rejection left and right
now all i wanna do is flight

i'll just wait a few days
wait until i finally get courage to gaze
gaze deeply into your eyes at night
watch them dilate with the lack of light
when that time comes
i'll constantly fill my lungs
i just want the connection
that comes with your affection
making sure that everything will be okay
with my heart blocking my airway
my fear of rejection makes me cry
i don't want the tears dripping down my thigh
i'm screaming in laughter
but so nervous to go after