yeah im having a bad day
actually im haveing a bad week
no actually im having a bad month
maybe even a bad year
but thats ok
because i know oneday
maybe in a year
or in 5
maybe even in 10
that ill have a good life

hoodies and sweaters, hoodies and sweaters
even in the summer, nobody questions it
a couple of times she's been caught bare armed
a couple of people have seen her scars
her secret is safe but when will it end?
when will she be able to wear short sleeves and swim?
she knows she cant keep living her life like this
but shes addicted to the beautiful pain razors give
she loves the blood, she loves the scars
she loves the pain that comes from tearing her skin apart
she loves the fresh pink scars that are new
she loves the old faded brown ones too
most people would never understand
if the knew they would think she's an alien

"thats what the want you to know"
"they're just a boyband"
"you really think the give a **** about you?"
"your crazy"*
these are a few thing my friends tell me when i talk about my boys
but they dont know
they dont know about our relationship
even tho my boys dont know me i know that my boys love me
they dont know about my fandom and our powers
they dont know how sweet my boys are
or how better they make me
all they see is their stereotypes
they only know what they hear on the radio
or what they see on the t.v.
they only know the hit songs
and none of the other hidden tracks
they dont know how strong this fandom is
they dont know how many lives the boys have changed

i count calories like money
200 cal?
nope i cant afford that
550?
ok ill splurge
no spending today
im saving for dinner later
whats 1/4 of a serving size?

Beware of guys with hazel eyes
They have the power to hypnotize
Charm an wit roll off their tongue
They'll steal your breath as you stare at them
They'll take your heart without a care
They'll disappear into thin air
Beware of guys with hazel eyes
They'll make us lonely people cry

Why do all my deep thoughts and personal breakthroughs happen when I am trying to fall asleep
The things that I have buried so deep that no therapist could uncover
Vaguely Creep back into my head
As a young child my soul was whole but now it is nothing but a small fraction of what used to be
I am broken
And truth is nothing will ever fix this ache