Its the same old feeling
I cant help but feel
I am beginning to become
OBviously quite CLEARLY aware -
Shaking my head at how ever so OBlivious I was .

To how deceitful
How misleading
ANd how amazing
You just really are.
ITs an art form
A trickery of the trades.
One I am so sure to be passed on
from generation to generation
In YOUR coniving blood line.

I became a helpless victim
Convincing me what we had -
What we presently have
and what our ever so pretty future
should be filled with

YOu called it  love-
However, LOve should not be
cold
miserable
and tension filled

L O V E so spaced out
It will never come together
it will never be
what it should
You are the boy of the past
A figment of my once toxic filled dreams.

That is ex actly what you are to me.

She is Me.
Timid And textured-
So Unsure yet So Sure
Life is Unpredictable-
Unrehearsed
Never ending,
Yet So short.

bass bumping in my ear drums
left side right side
togethere they collide-
loud and proud
pandora provides my music fix
its much to early to crave loud beats
I get what I want-
Not to sound selfish of course,
I am not sure
I am confident
I am not finished
I am just beginning
1 week till Im 23
Excited for a new start
ready to part from this age
Its been long overdue
never turn it down,
never frown

T u r n
Off the light
So you can see my dreams
But if you look close enough-
You will see...
No light is even on
Afterall,
Its already Sunny and bright-
You heat up my heart,
And light my Sun,
You are my Sky
You are my Moon and My Stars-
You make up My Entire
Solar System.

You MAkE the beauty In My life
Through my eyes-
You ARE the Beauty in my life.

yes,
it simply is
the number of me
defines my years of life


ive felt ive hit the rock bottom layer
and flown to the highest of highs
with simple elegant trys

lif

Two choices. Two Roads
Stay Or GO
Failure Or Opportunity
IT is Unknown
I dont Create Fate
I certainly do not predict failure

IF I only I was a psychic of the future.

IF I stay-
MY unsuburban thrilled life might just be blessed with the simpleness that you bring -
But that is just Part time
However
If I GO-
MY life will be unknown, exciting and destined for failure or blessed for success - Perhaps it is the road less traveled that I should travel by

silence in the library
the stillness of the air
the creepy crawl in the pit of my stomach
mixed with the continuous pinching presumes
you hope they dont stare

silence in the library
the stillness of the air
the creepy crawl in the pit of my stomach
mixed with the continuous pinching presumes
you hope they dont stare

im doing it again
another late night
hidden behind tears and polyvore

another month has passed
7 more days and ill be 22
its no surprise
i am still in love with you

but here i am
still wondering why i am here

I feel it
i sense it
Your all I feel
Its like as if nothing is...Your all it seems to be
at least in the world i live to witness -
despite it all
Im sorry
For being your downfall.

lack of the salty sea breeze
and the  buzzing of the sweet hunny bees and the chirping of the birds singing in the trees.
getting an A plus
or failing the test
in my household its the same.
apologizing for being wrong
is a habit ive proven to yet break;
im from the beach but now i live bY the bay
i like to see my world in different ways.

Sketchy
Liars
Creepy
Unreliable
***** and Tainted
You bIg man
Are no better than the hunk of junk cars sold'
Worse than the stench of a used car in the summer
Your just like them
but the worst part is
I never bought you.
So unfortunitly for me.
There is no return policy

why does the life of kimmy seem to be more and more complicated?
i dont get it,

where is mind.
\is it outside
inside
under the bed
over the moon
in the roome
on the spoon.
where
where oh were
can some one please
help me find it
im hurting inside
i feel like somethings missing.
its my mind

I guess its final;
I am here,
In the same place
The every day
ways of the environments
Of lifes beautiful face-

on every drive
in every way
Its becoming familiar

Maybe a new start
With the Introduction to  
the patterns of the daily usuals

I think another year will be such a brave decision,
A simple leap of trust of responsibility
And realiability
A simple independence;
Proven to be another challenge;
as well as the the midterm
of finding who I am.

My.
Self.
Is simple.
I have never
ever been more content as I am currently.
I Miss the comfort of the power of love.
But Love is subjective...
I wish to fall hopelessly like I did
once before, But that is a long shot of w i s h f u l t h i n k i n g

Please forgive my patheticness, please know I was not trying to hurt you.
I did what I had to .
to survive. to get by. to pass through the longest year of my entire life to date.