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6.3k · Feb 2012
adhd
Kimmy-Nichole Feb 2012
you cant defeat me
you wont
Ill cooperate
Ill act scattered
Ill be unfocused
Ill be motivated to motivate this terrible distraction in my mind
The answer is simple
College and AdHd dont mix
they collide
my brain is a dj playing dubstep
24 hours a day
non stop full volume
crank it up
because there is no stoping.
2.4k · Sep 2010
captivating
Kimmy-Nichole Sep 2010
clouds
they mesmerize me

everything high above
from the seagulls the palm trees
to the highest peaks

the beauty so captivating

its haunting

through out my journey of self exploritary
2.4k · Apr 2011
moombah
Kimmy-Nichole Apr 2011
oh yuh
***** dubstep bumping like an 808
partying like a rockstar

marijuana molly ***** nyquil ativan adarall
baby bash
waka flocka bumping super H E L L - UH loud
the party downstairs

will be raging with under age kids all night -
here we go again

the peeping land lord- and the drunnk guy outside my bathroom
the sketchy anti social other room mate
the 2nd story appt
and the kids downstairs partying like i did when i was 19


wait a minute

i am way to old for this ****
2.3k · Apr 2011
propose a toast
Kimmy-Nichole Apr 2011
capitalization and pronunciation
is a thing of the past in this current state-

im not perfect
ill never be

I need something
a purpose
a reason for living
and a reason for leaving this part of the golden coast
1.9k · Aug 2010
Financial Apathy
Kimmy-Nichole Aug 2010
A depth so Deep
A black whole Could sink -
The Tunnel of troubles
A miracoulous devastatingly dysfunctional
trickle of life that will one day - eventually (hopefully)
be the day of all days in my 21 years to date
1.9k · Jun 2010
MILF
Kimmy-Nichole Jun 2010
most
intelligent
loving
fun female
1.7k · Feb 2012
Dream Analyzer
Kimmy-Nichole Feb 2012
I remember you,
I think of you.
You cared about  me and every thought I ever had,
You helped me make sense of what I was dealing with,
even though neither of us could at that time.
There wont ever be anyone like you in my life I rest assure
I stand tall and reminis on our time together
and feel the haunting of your presense everytime I write.
1.5k · Jul 2011
this just in
Kimmy-Nichole Jul 2011
so this just in.
last night, after a grueling  day of nanny-ing, I went to  the davis consignment store and broused around   finding some numerous  cute tops and shorts as well as purchasing 2 new books to add to my reading collection ( i just finished the time travelers wife.)
so than  around 4pm  I  was heading to B st  where I   was meeting with my future roomate, who by the was amazingly nice and pretty and has a boyfriend and turns 21 in september. Im so excited to leave parkside apts - living in north davis is such a drag. Central Davis here I come  ( Ill be living   5 minutes to  UC davis, an amazing arbotreum, pools, the davis Arc and frat  row and party city. This is going to be the best thing  that has happened to me.)
So after that  I went back to my  apt  and as giddly as ever, called my mom to  tell her my amazing roomate  news.   ( mY moms finally really proud of me. I am working 2 full time jobs as a nanny  from 8:30 am  to 2:30 pm than my night nanny job  4:30 pm to 5:30 am except on wed thur fridays.)
so it being my night off, i   figured why not go out.  so my apartment neighbor whom i met at the gym friend jesse who is 29, studied as a foreign exchange student in finland for a year, gotten a dui, is a davis townie, went to a  college called will-am-eit  and was in a fraternity out there. he is fun to go out with and bar hop in downtown with; the last time i was  out with jesse, i went to a bar called sophias than later on met up with my ex crush who is this charming dbag from winters named chad and got fun drunk. Well in aims for that spirit again we started off  by drinking and laughing at my apt . we decided to go lay out by the hot tub  and drank beer  being sillly kids. we decided to hit up downtown davis for this bar called the grad. It was beach themed  country line dancing night. Yeah , being alone because  your friend is off showing off his line dancing with precision kinda moves and meeting line dancing babes in bikinis ...awkward for sure. so amungst bying my own 2 beers which were hand picked by my big  and sure of himself bartender, which eventually  led to my  very  interesting night of drunken madness. It kicked off on as previously mentioned on the way to the grad which lead to me leaving with this older woman in a cab to another bar that was supposed to be more enertaining.  I ended up forgetting my id at the grad, my phone was dead and to top it all off  i didnt know anyone s number at the top of my head.  i decided to take matters in to my own feet and chose to hoof it back to my apt on f street. god, what a long and stupering night that was.  when i finally made it, out of exhaustion and drunkness , i  collided onto my neighbors couch still in    last nights outfit. karla  woke me up at 7 :30 and i showered  feeling super ****** and groggy , i couldnt eat or drink. I had work at 8:30. not feeling so hot, i was slowly getting through the day. the kids and i all layed on and under blankets and stuffed animals, and i told stories. it was really cute and relaxing. i love those kids.prior to that i threw up. after that it was time to drop off timothy at therapy, than abigail and abraham at speech therapy. I threw up in the bathroom, and on the sideof the minivan in front of ruth and timothy. ugh.    
so  than after i talked to my neighbor  slash ex boyfriend patrick about getting in connection with a a herb that helps me feel better by increasing my appittie and helping me sleep. he provided wth that special  herb. while sitting and smoking, i felt the spark that we used to have. i confessed to sleeping with a guy i met in newport two weeks ago on the fourth of july when i went back home. patrick told me he has hooked up with this slutty townie girl, and i wish them both std free happyness.

here i am typing away , getting sleepier and sleepier. Tonight will be a  early night indeed. i love my new spirit and i love who i am. i love where i am going. i will not exceed more alcohol than my tiny light weight body can handle.. Well it feels good to write. i know i must get back on that writing more often. until next time,
-Kimmy
1.2k · Jun 2010
Used Car Sales Man
Kimmy-Nichole Jun 2010
Sketchy
Liars
Creepy
Unreliable
***** and Tainted
You bIg man
Are no better than the hunk of junk cars sold'
Worse than the stench of a used car in the summer
Your just like them
but the worst part is
I never bought you.
So unfortunitly for me.
There is no return policy
1.2k · Dec 2011
arrogance
Kimmy-Nichole Dec 2011
an apology,
a peace offering, a christmas card
a "I'm sorry, I did what I needed to do at that particular time in my drastically changing life"
is all I wish you could understand,
have all been mental potential peace offerings...
but now, COME to think about it,
I was never her,
I was "something" that resembled her.
I was the TEMPORARY words to your poem,
and she was your poem.
1.1k · Feb 2012
Senorita
Kimmy-Nichole Feb 2012
senorita
her name is ******
living in a half empty cup
under neath the stars
of a lofts stairs.

****** dances and dreams
wonders if life is all it seems
as its perceived,
questions her thoughts
traces her dreams

chases the feelings
that so desperatley brings ****** to her knees
perhaps there is a plan
maybe its all just a test

as ****** sips her cup
under the stairs
a man comes and says hey bonita como se llamo
******, she speaks softly and smiles
hola senorita he replys
1.1k · Mar 2012
ideal
Kimmy-Nichole Mar 2012
hocus pocus
please, grant me focus
stop my mind from racing
a thousand seconds a minute
slow my thoughts,
calm my fears,
demolish the doubt
give me the strenghth
give me the piece of mind
to overcome
this adhd train of thought;
for i only have till midnight
Kimmy-Nichole Dec 2011
is quite what it seems.

life is unpredictable,
edgy, rough and rugged
living life behind a picked fence;
in the midst of a revolution
is simply asking for
regret;
so please listen to me when i say,
stop being shy,
come out and play
Kimmy-Nichole Jun 2010
Your human
your a being
Your simply just plain MEAN
You have produced me
tried to reduce me
to nothing
But I am

I am much better of a person
Because of how much mean Ive Been exposed too
So thank you
Because of You
I can see the better side of people
I can look at "mean" and say to myself
I have seen worse, Far worse
Kimmy-Nichole Sep 2011
My.
Self.
Is simple.
I have never
ever been more content as I am currently.
I Miss the comfort of the power of love.
But Love is subjective...
I wish to fall hopelessly like I did
once before, But that is a long shot of w i s h f u l t h i n k i n g

Please forgive my patheticness, please know I was not trying to hurt you.
I did what I had to .
to survive. to get by. to pass through the longest year of my entire life to date.
1.0k · Jan 2011
retail relapse
Kimmy-Nichole Jan 2011
quiet the contarary
i did it
i failed
i felll on the ground
of the addicting retail pit of helll
956 · Jul 2010
Please disagree.
Kimmy-Nichole Jul 2010
self reliant
independent

realistic

real

everything

****** up
and right

but mostly wrong

made me everything i am know

which is bigger than strong.
886 · Apr 2012
Confusion Under the Covers
Kimmy-Nichole Apr 2012
It is underwraps,
serious doubts
you dont listen to my dreams,
you dont ever know what I mean
taking a second,
even a minute
evaluating this love that you swear we have,
Perhaps this pushyness of your persistence
is merely just a trap
to kidnap me from my thoughts
and control my train of thinking
like a puppet and his master
873 · Jul 2010
Ill be fine.
Kimmy-Nichole Jul 2010
"I live in a cacoon opposite of cancun"

Its right. I lie
Everything is wrong
Plain and Simple
This is all going to change
give it time
one day at a time.
Do what I can to stay alive
Emotionally
Im shattered and broken
But
All thats broken can be fixed
865 · Feb 2012
dead battery
Kimmy-Nichole Feb 2012
Zen & Men.

Simply, saturday
broke and sore
mind racing like a track meet.

That's ok, my will is good
Kimmy-Nichole Sep 2010
You are to me;
What honey is to a bee;
The simplicity of the pollinating of nectar,
From flower to flower,
Comes the idea of working together-
Because not having one with out the other,
Is Like counting the sea shells without the shore.
841 · Aug 2010
Except the Exceptional
Kimmy-Nichole Aug 2010
Exceptional IS not THE question -
However the QUESTION is Expected.
Unanswered AND Questionable-
Yet Quite.
The World Will Prevail everything but a Cynical Smile -
Assumed to be nothing more than a Warm
Substanial Permanent Luxury
833 · Jul 2010
Irresistible
Kimmy-Nichole Jul 2010
Ive always promised it was over
Convinced myself every time
Your wrong for me
It wont ever be

Every tear dropped was proof of insanity
I am stronger than the pain
resisting it all
It revolves around me

Look at you now
so much more different
Yet the same old pain
I mask it and put it in the past

Your lies are irresistible
I cant contain myself
816 · Jun 2010
Money, Honey.
Kimmy-Nichole Jun 2010
Money, Honey
makes the world go  round.
Money makes things happen
good and bad

Money clearly isnt worth dying over
But its what we live for
In the long run

Money makes things happen
it fills lives with glam and passion
Money makes life look easy

Money is the face
Behind Material Happiness
Some are just too blind by the Money shine
785 · Jun 2010
A Liars Lie
Kimmy-Nichole Jun 2010
I was against it
Never once would I tolerate it
Convinced Id figure out anything but the truth
I was right.
It ruined you and I
A relationship thrown away
ripped apart
nothing could ever come
from a person I could never trust

time has passed
Here we are again
standing hand in hand
looking at what we had
Observing myself from an outsiders perspective
The roles have reversed
I am the Liar
Your the saint.
772 · Aug 2010
Rylee: My heart my puppy
Kimmy-Nichole Aug 2010
i mistaked that birds crow for you-
all i long for is to hold you
my tears are for that of joy
and the mere idea of you not being here.
Your my rylee my lovey my puppy
my baby number 2,
afterall hunny hunny bunny
baby bru came before you;
I miss your whimpering as much as it broke my heart,
I was attentive and ready to provide all that i could
for the nurturing you need
The feeling of the sharpness of your puppy teeth
as you used me as your chew toy;
any moving object became your object -
I loved every second of it.
I love you Rylee boo, I do I do I do
From the sole bottom of my heart
to the second were apart -
You have my heart .
Your my baby
my joy
My light beneath the miserable heat
this distance so deep
Slowly digs steep-
Will soon be gone;
There will be nothing left to long for;
because I will soon have you
761 · Jan 2011
everyday
Kimmy-Nichole Jan 2011
california
gracious and prestiges
inadvertantly
equally overcrowded
the water the sand
the brisk breeze
i miss you
you squeeze my hand
I want to scream
this is the facts
i want him back
the trees
the unfriendly cold
makes me yern
for your love
752 · Aug 2010
ABDUCTED
Kimmy-Nichole Aug 2010
If it is just a statistic-
Than why can't we fix it?

Terrifying.
Yet Undenying-

So many try it
I can't fight it?
Kimmy-Nichole Jul 2010
Two choices. Two Roads
Stay Or GO
Failure Or Opportunity
IT is Unknown
I dont Create Fate
I certainly do not predict failure

IF I only I was a psychic of the future.

IF I stay-
MY unsuburban thrilled life might just be blessed with the simpleness that you bring -
But that is just Part time
However
If I GO-
MY life will be unknown, exciting and destined for failure or blessed for success - Perhaps it is the road less traveled that I should travel by
741 · Jul 2010
disgust in distraction
Kimmy-Nichole Jul 2010
I cant allow myself
to come to a logical
and reasonable explanation
I never meant to be
this deceitful hurtful disgusting
Person
But I was
I did things that even I cant understand
I pushed you away
I made you hurt for me till you hurt no more
yet for the reasons beyond any
your still in my life
Your still the one I love
and the one I cant deny
I want every second wth you
736 · Jun 2010
Malicious Family.
Kimmy-Nichole Jun 2010
Everything to gain
Nothing to Lose
Im a one man team
Up against a five man pack
In a Cold and Unfair battle

.

Who ever said that family is forever
May god rest his sole
734 · Apr 2011
dreaming
Kimmy-Nichole Apr 2011
no advil - my brain is swollen and throbbing so often its uncommon

its dejavu

perhaps even karma

i guess i should take the blame

and apologize -

just so things will be

erased, than put in the past

and a clean slate will emerge

one more time

in this vicious cycle ive commited myself too
Kimmy-Nichole Oct 2010
Its all ive ever faced.
I am waiting
second by second
day after night
morning after dawn
725 · Feb 2012
Descending
Kimmy-Nichole Feb 2012
drop the base
throw me off, confuse me
mislead me
What I feel
Is imperfection
and maturity
wisdom and experience
I find the aging process beautiful

I can not wait to age.
23 is just a few weeks away, a new age is a new chapter.
723 · Aug 2010
Blame the Lame
Kimmy-Nichole Aug 2010
Synical Sarcasm On Such a Serious Saturday In Simple Sacramento-
See The Signs Of The Sad Sorrow and Sorry
Than Decide - If Its Worth Shame
and The Self Blame Than Play the game
If Not - Take the hit of self saturated fate
705 · Jun 2010
Puppet Prisoner.
Kimmy-Nichole Jun 2010
Harsh not hard.
Hounded like Anne Frank
Treated like a victim,
A Prisoner of YOUR war
In your own freak show parade

Somehow
Despite my disgust
And my dispair
I have made it this far
As a personal puppet
To a sick monster master
Of a mother

One short stretch of twentyone years
Feels like the Coldest and Longest
Cold World Fair
I do believe
It is time to retire.

So Thank you ever so kindly
For your extended invite-

But this time by choice
With no regret nor remorse
Ill kindly Say, "No Thanks"

And skip away
To be on my way
Never ever to be
Your puppet prisoner

Or your daughter.
Kimmy-Nichole Aug 2010
The recipe to comply - oh how the Ingrediants are Ever So Rare.
As my journey proceeds on- Ill prove to accumulate
More and More As I live on,
With the Simplicity of my personal reassurance  
I bid you adue - Good Luck On That search
For The Worlds Most Rare Ingredients
693 · Sep 2010
Eleven Eleven.
Kimmy-Nichole Sep 2010
through all the nights in my life spent apart,
I look above in the darkness that surrounds,
I catch a glimpse and see the gleaming
of a crescent shaped moon;
I mutter under my breath
"there is a t-rex on the moon..."
I shake my head so foolishly...
Only you would understand.
I tilt my head up,
so Im able to gaze more deeply
Looking at the vast sea of stars dancing above me,
I try to count them twinkling as if perfectly
synchronized -
I tremble, breathe heavily, than catch my breath,
Realizing that your always my wish.
Even when it's not eleven - eleven.
689 · Feb 2012
Empty Celebratory
Kimmy-Nichole Feb 2012
driving on empty, my tank way past e
i fear the sudden stop of my car on the busy street,
Its the academy awards,
I feel so unexciting
I gymed it up, worked out hard
I am eating better and taking care of myself
subway in my tummy
clean and showered comfy in pajamas
i wonder when I will meet that guy
who will like me for me,
just as i am
and loves my boringness
wonders what i am thinking
and loves to play the question game, in an attempt to get to know the real me.
You ask, Ill tell.
where is he?
681 · Dec 2011
Glitter & I
Kimmy-Nichole Dec 2011
crunch and lunge,
sprint and squat
stretch and pace
trying to make it first in the race
head straight eye on the prize
physically
and mentally
preparing for the best me
I can ever come to be
666 · Dec 2011
Glitter & I
Kimmy-Nichole Dec 2011
crunch and lunge,
sprint and squat
stretch and pace
trying to make it first in the race
head straight eye on the prize
physically
and mentally
preparing for the best me
I can ever come to be
665 · Jul 2010
Toxic Filled Dreams
Kimmy-Nichole Jul 2010
Its the same old feeling
I cant help but feel
I am beginning to become
OBviously quite CLEARLY aware -
Shaking my head at how ever so OBlivious I was .

To how deceitful
How misleading
ANd how amazing
You just really are.
ITs an art form
A trickery of the trades.
One I am so sure to be passed on
from generation to generation
In YOUR coniving blood line.

I became a helpless victim
Convincing me what we had -
What we presently have
and what our ever so pretty future
should be filled with

YOu called it  love-
However, LOve should not be
cold
miserable
and tension filled

L O V E so spaced out
It will never come together
it will never be
what it should
You are the boy of the past
A figment of my once toxic filled dreams.

That is ex actly what you are to me.
656 · Dec 2010
The Plot
Kimmy-Nichole Dec 2010
And the Piece of paper
not even worth being named
so unIMPORTANT
thats what ill scribble
my name on

its my turn to get congratulated
ill be more real
a little bit specific
congratuHATED.

I am ashamed.

ashamed of being associated with the reflection
trying to keep myself from the world
when I just want to get away
forever
from myself
652 · Dec 2011
Hey over THERE
Kimmy-Nichole Dec 2011
Why is being happy such a challenge?
I find myself asking the same question at times.
please don't answer it.

How come forgiveness is not something that can be granted? ESPECIALLY during the Holidays?
Kimmy-Nichole Aug 2010
Incomplete spells defeat on what a winner Ive obviously proven to be -
This simple change shall make it known to be the most promising,
Dilemma That Has Yet to Happen to Me.
648 · Jul 2010
Comfortable In Love
Kimmy-Nichole Jul 2010
The Intelligence you posess
Is the beauty beyond all that Ive ever known
I am intrigued yet delicatley intimidated
My heart floats
You are the emphasis of everything that is right
for everytime Im lost,
There You are - Holding me comfortable
And ever so tight
648 · Apr 2011
unproductive
Kimmy-Nichole Apr 2011
im doing it again
another late night
hidden behind tears and polyvore

another month has passed
7 more days and ill be 22
its no surprise
i am still in love with you

but here i am
still wondering why i am here
647 · Jul 2010
pain
Kimmy-Nichole Jul 2010
A slap in the face
a rush of pain
my hearts racing
pumping faster
like a frate train
Ease it
heal it
make it go away
end this pain
cure my hell
Ill pray forever
can you tell?
632 · Jul 2010
Clean Up on Aisle Life
Kimmy-Nichole Jul 2010
I really can imagine-
what it would be like
to live in a home
where there is no love warmth compassion affection
rights equality truth love sympathy freedom believing and dreaming
because the truth is my dear
Its a life ive been blessed with-- from an optomists perspective.
Life.
It wont get the best of me.
Ill learn from there fuckups and toxic wrong doings.
If I should make it to produce offspring of some sort--
I know I will shower them in More love than I have ever felt in 21 years
They will be able to confide, love, dream, speak, be honest, respect and talk to me
face to face.
630 · May 2012
twenty three
Kimmy-Nichole May 2012
yes,
it simply is
the number of me
defines my years of life


ive felt ive hit the rock bottom layer
and flown to the highest of highs
with simple elegant trys

lif
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