Sometimes I wish
for a different place
where my memories
have been drained
you can tell my friends
and family it's better
where I am
wiped clean,
an empty
slate
.

Ripped ribbons scattered aimlessly,
with fractured cups, dirt and dust
pink pearly acetone just won't be enough
to erase the evidence of you.

With forced confessions,
spilled out all past indiscretions,
and cursed vindications and blood
splattered like a musty revenge.

Blank canvases,
Hand print caresses that show
Polaroid prints all faded and jaded
like the illusion of us.

It was desperate fingers
that clung to the railings
but the force of gravity meant I had to let go.
Hope had revived me
Like water to my parched throat
my oasis is the desert
All my horrid words were revoked.

Yet nothing will ever be enough
to surgically remove
our open bleeding wounds.
I must tend to the injured,
Leave alone the wielder
Knife still in hand
How did it come to this?
I missed your voice
so much it made me cry
yet after I heard
it made everything worse
Mourning a loss that was not mine
but yours.
Grieving hurts.

I still love you
but it burns
burns
until I have to take my hand off
the all consuming flame.

My teardrops cannot pay the price,
or eradicate the past in peoples minds
Will I forever be beholden to this guilt that now defines me?
Too many skin graphs to hide the scarred tissue underneath.

All paths lead me back to here.
I'm helpless to watch your ghost
Linger,you still linger.

Please don't make me regret opening up to you
Please don't tell all of the secrets
That only you knew
Just please
Let me
Trust
You
The way that I do.

you grew up with a lot of
mommy didn't love me issues
and sooner than later
you ran out of tissues

smothering yourself in hate
you grew too afraid to change
take that leap of faith?

now your problems are
too deep
too old
to fix

its too late

you are a permanent creation
of your past situation
and even though your
bones are older
3rd generation
I grew from your
mistakes
learned
the better path
to take

I hate to say I don't miss you
but its true
I miss the person
I thought was you

but she died
along with my innocence
goodbye childhood blindness
life slapped me with a cold
and abrupt
"*** you grew up"

So with everlasting love
I say a final goodbye
bittersweet maybe
but sitting alongside
our closeted skeletons
is necessary pain

still
you need to
know that
your oblivious arrogance
wasn't in vain
your sacrifice
contributed to the evolution
of our souls
and in retrospect
it was worth the
overpriced toll