One spoon of cough syrup*

              Pour
   Lines pulled against
         the currents,
like the strings of my day
      and you have set
       underneath my
            horizon;
    flares of your colors
         settling into
           my earth.
                                                     Taste
                                          Read my eyes and
                                             longing looks.
                                      Find the nerve behind
                                           the trail of scarlet
                                          and embrace your
                                           lingering shadow
                                         the one I've learned
                                                  to love.                                            

          Swallow                                          ­                                                  
   Cling to my desire                                                           ­                              
 and entangle yourself
         once more
don't struggle instead
     press your bones
        into my grave
   and bury me in your
         flesh of broken
                dreams.
                                  ­                                                                 ­                                                             Repeat
                                         ­       Defrost your denied
                                                         approval in
                                                         my warmth
                                                     and wrap me in
                                                           attention.
                                                      ­ Turn me into
                                                  your poison apple
                                                and sink your heart
                                                  deep into my core.

Girl of stone
She stood tall under the blue sky
A strong stone
Year after year
Inner rocks crumbled slowly with every struggle thrown at her
People climbed to the top just to leave
Walked in and out of her life
But still under the sun she stood tall
The inside cracked without anyone knowing
A slow but damaging process
But still day after day
People visited the stone girl
Admired her happiness
But what they didn't know was the pain within
The struggle she faced to hold herself together
When all at once
The girl fell
Inside out
Piece by piece
While flowers bloomed and people gleamed with happiness
the girl was a mound of unknown pieces to damaged to fix

I don't fear emotion. It comforts me
Emotion cradles me in its warm embrace
Like a new born child gasping between tears
And holds me tight until I catch my breath

I don't fear language. It welcomes me
I've spoken since I was 2 and articulated for years
Words are as vital as my heart and my lungs
Even more so when they keep me from suffocating

But I fear poetry. It taunts me
Structure is my comfort
Yet the bane of my existence
It haunts me
Mocks me
For the road that I take
And I fear that I diverge
Too far from the rest:
My poetry lies in breaks and stanzas
Not breaths and motions
It poisons the air but breaths life to the page
It ignites the heart but dies on the lips
It penetrates the mind to it's deepest depths
But when it is spoken it falls to the flames

I don't fear the reading. I fear the response
The silence that echoes in place of the cheers
The tentative applause that chokes me to tears
The thoughts that resound:
"That's metered not free"
"It breaks far too much"
"Not slam poetry"
Too different for them
Too different for me.

I fear the impact
After the fall
Because it makes me wonder
If I'm a poet at all

But, just how much do we let the sky get away with while we're staring at the ground?