I wonder how I can hold myself up when you're not around
Whatever I do, without you I feel so out of bound
You are the piece of me that makes me feel safe and sound.

My thoughts are grounded by the stability of your presence
Lately they've been flying at distances much too high
Similar to the plane passing by in the curve of your ocean eyes

The clouds above puffed up in a sigh
Your dark oceans reflect the sky
Matching the blue as if the water is up high

Your blue oceans move to me, finding my green shore
And I refuse to look away because this is my plea
I am the isolated island lost at sea.

You are a complex person
So many confusing equations to figure out
All these numbers and signs adjacent to each other
Only I can simplify you
Because my numbers and signs line up with yours
I am just as complex
And when you put two complex equations
Side by side with an equal sign in between
You either cross out all the same complexities
Or combine them to make a nightmare of numbers
And I know that you and I, side by side,
Will simplify each other
Our relationship will not be foiled
Because we'll cancel out all our symbols
And leave a beautiful product
That leaves others jealous
Searching for the match that will make them
Just as simple, just as beautiful
Simple as that.

There's sadness welling up with water in my eyes.
There's embarrassment flushing to my cheeks.
There's fear twitching to run in my feet.
There's anger bunching up in my balled fists.
There's nausea accumulating in my stomach.
There's confusion pumping through my heart.
There's disapointment sighing in my rib cage.
There's regret pursing my lips.
And there's madness processing my brain.

I am a single being.
One small body, barely growing.
A structure of bones made up a human.
This being, this body, this human,
This single being
Is overwhelmed with emotions.
And I cannot contain these feelings.
I am one person.  
Which makes it logical that all these feelings
Would overtake me.


(just like they always do)

I've only the energy
To make myself
Look halfway decent
Because halfway
Is where I stand
Between throwing
Myself into a river
And hiding under my
Bedroom blankets
Hopelessly confused

My glass is half empty
Or maybe half full
Either way
There's nothing
Occupying the opposite space
And that other space
Is where I am standing
Halfway decent
Halfway insane
Halfway gone.

Just another teenage girl
Curled up in a ball
Crying herself to madness
Over a teenage boy
And how she feels so alone.


What's new?

Music is blaring in my ears and my breathing is becoming staggered
You're invading my mind and I need to run
But I can't run from what's inside of me
And I can't run from what I feel
So I listen to the rhythm of my feet on the pavement
Steady, now.
And I match my breathing to every other step
Even though my mind is racing 100 paces ahead
I know it will eventually lose stamina
And begin retreating
But my thoughts have no intention of stopping
No desire to cooperate
And off they go again.

I'm feeling too much
I'm running in a straight line
But going in circles trying to catch myself
Steady, now.
I can only mask my insanity for so long
I can only run for so long before my pace diminishes
Along with my drive to cap my thoughts
I'm being taken over by my own self
Engulfed in an ocean of emotions
That won't stop trying to drown me
I listen once again to my feet on the pavement
And the tempo of my breathing
Ears picking up the echo of my heartbeat
My heart feels so much
But it still beats its rhythmic cadence in my chest
I want my mind to adapt to that same stability
I am running, but from what?
Steady, now.