Most think nothing of it
They say it's just
Your subconscious
Making you see things
I'll admit I once
Thought that was true
But now?
I believe my mind is sent
To a different version
Of myself at random
Only for the time being
I feel, think, and understand
Just as they do
I'm sent back usually
When they die
Or some random
Time
Dying over and over
Just to wake up
To live my  life
That I have control over
Seems fine for now

There's nothing really to say
I was just always mad
Barely happy
I was looking for something
But I had no clue what
My parents always
Got me stuff trying
To buy my happiness
Soon they just stopped
I slowly became
Alone
I started thinking
Of all the things
I wanted to do
And ask
Do I really want
To do those?
The answer was usually
No
I began to think
There was nothing
So I thought I was nothing
At the time
I didn't have a reason
To live
They thought I need help
They were wrong
I needed a reason
But at last I have one
And I know what
I want to do
But that's a different
Page for a different
Time

The feeling just isn't
The same
I liked it better before
One of my creations
Came about
I'm proud it made it
As far as it did
But it just seems lost
I create more just
To know that one
Will notice but
By saying they
Get the wrong idea

When you reach a new level
You feel joy
All the work you did
Finally showed through
And now you're on a new level
But now that you moved up
You don't see the tiny steps
You make anymore
You only see the floors
Going by one after another
Slowly
But you got more joy
Out of all the little steps
Than all the floors combined
It's not like you don't want
To see them
It's  that you can't

I'm not really the
Leader type
But people say I am
All I see myself as
Theone wh does all
The work some how
No matter what
It's me
Not even my group
That I choose
It's me
They all just sit there
And watch me
I'm never in the best
Of health but I
Never stop
I  have  to  keep  going
I tell myself
Never really resting
Always thinking

Everything seems to go so well
But then I do something to *****
It all up
Envy is such a strong feeling
It makes you do things
You wouldn't normally
I just can't help it
It all just comes out before
I have the time to think
And disaster stacks
I'm pretty good at keeping
My emotions in check
But that one
Because of this I hurt people
I love and then I start
Hating myself and
Imagine if was never here