As I stumble down a paved road
I fumble with my cell phone
Trying to read the screen info and
the daily paper's digital memos...

I wonder which superhero will save the box office this year
or if we'll hear the guns of home, the guns that we let go.

I wonder if a fidget spinner tournament will bring home dinner
or if we'll hear the chains of Guantanamo, the chains that we ignore.

I wonder if Mattel's new fat barbie will sell real well
or if we'll hear the guns of Aleppo, of US-made shells

I wonder if Christmas will win the holiday war,
or if we'll hear the chains on your grandchildren, profiting the CEO

Don't care to see if Trump is tweeting
Fight and hope that war stops trending
Gut feelin' goverment has dropped the big one on us
Uncaring, and never-ending.

If only an angel or supernatural could pluck up this mortal fate and twist the coil that can spring life forth once again.

Like a jack-in-the-box torn out of his nuzzled crate, I don't know where I am or if I can walk.

My novelty was taken away by some phantom, a stranger which had no care or thought.

I used to have a painted smile on my face.
To surprise and laugh was my only plot.

Now I'm tossed among the piled heap: Forgiven, but also forgotten.

Do I sleep to dream? I know I dream to sleep.
You know I want to sleep. I want to sleep to know, Did you dream too?

Because my yesterday was today, and today will soon be yesterday again, soon to lose and forget whats already a memory to be happening again.

Wake me up.
Rip me off the floor.

The return policy for my heart has expired.
Sold at a cheap price, a sale bin bargain.
I got tricked at my own back door.
Pushed off a truck again.

Bartered over the table, no receipt.
Complacent defeat, or constant torture
It's not even my choice if I function anymore.

Yes, Ma'am. you can do whatever you wan't.
You own me, your toy, you own all of this.
You bought me with a mere kiss.

Slump down motionless.
You can do whatever you want with me.
But you don't want anything.

I have no real meaning.
Like an unwanted doll,
opened Christmas morning.
You cut me open and ripped out my stuffing.

It's been a year since you did that
I've been trying to come back
Ignore it but you spread it and people think I'm a rat?
I asked for a bed, not for some head
Liquor still in me, now I'd rather be dead.

Your friends tell me what you think?
"She liked you, go apologize for making this stink"
But that's the funny thing.
While I'm distracted with death, your attention and ego sinks.
So the months fly past, while you cut me off at the pass,
Spread the rumors with a few drinks,
But with little-to-no class.
Sorry would've worked, but now you look like an ***.

I woke up spinning, retracing the fact
We walk downstairs past your parents,
You were hot but annoying as "**** that"
My silence was a red flag, my poetry the clap back.
You can talk all you want but God knows you ain't that.
You'd been weighed, you'd been measured,
I felt you took advantage, many agree that you have.
And the rest of you are wondering why I'm so ******* mad?

Don't tell me the fault is my own
When the first apology I owned
And the conversation's being held in my home.
When the shoes on the other, and the tables have turned,
You wouldn't be getting off,
You'd be in jail or hell getting burned.

You think you're the pentagon; fly as a **** Drone,
Bad communication, embarrassment, I know
But you plan with Folly to bomb the bridges and roads.
I don't drink in public as much, but that's partly my own.
I'm walking out, not a victim, but the wiser, stronger soul.
Unlike you, I don't have to live with that conscience or hole.
God save you and your spineless followers full of bull.

****, I hope you hear this. Round and round you'd go.
There you'd fall spiraling as I stare far down below.
Goodbye, good riddance, may God have no mercy on your soul.
If it's a girl it's called ****, but if it's a boy it gets old.

I kept tumbling, falling...
Trying to walk down a black stone stairwell.
It widened and rippled like water with each sinking step, feet sinking into a dark blue glue.
Each stair I stumbled as the floor was lower than I presumed; giving me a feeling of vertigo and being swallowed down and down deeper into a hole I thought was only so deep, yet ended up being deeper than I ever imagined.

The lip of the top surface seemed hundreds of yards above offering little light to me, like a mouth engulfing less than what it wanted, tasting only my fear.

Let it be difficult to wake up.
Let it be easy to go to bed.
Let a hard day's work brush by when your eyes are sore and red.
Let the sun come out, even when it's night.
Let the light come out, even when its dark.
Let a soft face touch down in your hands.
Let the pillow next to you be open even if you're feeling hurt.
Let me be there even if it's me you have to brand.

I never said I was perfect, I can only try to be the man I am.
But I'll never let your heart die and fall away while I stand.
Because there is love in this eulogy I wrote for you.
Till death, I promised to hold your hand.
Because I said I loved you...

From the beginning to the end.

Three daggers in my back and a sword through the heart...
I apologize if I don't get up as quick as others, or run as fast.
I'm trying to figure out where the hilts are.

I was raised being told to respect my elders,
But they only ever called me a punk growing up.
They said they raised us to one day give us the world.
Gave us what? Cities of ****, dry lakes and burning rust?
A generation of parents, so worried about taking care of their kids,
They destroyed the world so they wouldn't go outside. Mother's Envy.
They told me to pay attention in school,
And taught me that I didn't fit,
Never how to find a job, but certainly how to quit.

When your generation was growing up?
I don’t want to hear about your generation.
The generation that cared more about what created the world,
Than how to keep it alive?

A drunken stepfather blamed by his son,
In turn blaming his own father for the reasons his son hates him.

You want your kids to behave a certain way? Don’t force them.
Explain to them the effect and the cause.
Guide them, not govern them.
Accept and love them, they have your flaws.

Don’t forget that you would rather be rich and your enemy richer
Than to be blind in one eye so he will be in both.

I won’t use your generation as a scapegoat.
Today I am here to stop this cycle.
No, you will not be my excuse.

I will stand up and give a voice to the voiceless.
Run, walk and crawl for the crippled.
Find a cure for our parent's cancer.
Pay for our broken homes, flooding with bills.
Will break my back to farm for those without food
Who starve in our valleys, our plains, our hills.

But I beg.
Just please, oh Mother.
Don't force me to ****.
Because if I have to dear Father,

You know that I will...

I wish you stabbed me.
It would've hurt less.
At least then I would know how you honestly felt about me.

Living and dying, breaking down crying
Making and chasing dreams we keep trying
Thinking...

Promises we make, the ones we break
It's all just a materialistic haze
Because life is just a phase.

Will somebody destroy something?!
Will somebody change something?
Will somebody create something new...?

I hope.

All this we feel
Everything we know
All that glitters isn't always made of gold.

But if you want to know
And you do share a care
The secret is in your childhood teddy bear.