She loved animals.
Her favorite ice cream was mint chip.
She loved Lord of The Rings and fantasy.
Her favorite shows were Trailer Park Boys and Rick & Morty.

Her favorite city was San Francisco.
Her favorite beach was El Matador.
Driving through the canyons of Malibu at sunset,
Bottles of wine and sushi was her favorite date night for two.

She loved music and concerts:
Sublime, Tool, The **, Reel Big Fish, 311 and all of the 90's alternative.
She could play the piano and the bass,
But was a pro when a pen and sketchbook were in her face.

She never fired a gun, but loved archery and fishing;
Unless we ate, it was only for fun.
She was the best at make up and constantly changed her hair.
She was always worried what others would think,
Although I never cared.
She was wild and beautiful, that's why they stared.

She valued freedom over everything.
She never got a tattoo, although she wanted one.
She loved motorcycles, but never owned one.
She loved taking risks, jumping or falling.
It was why she stumbled while she was here with the living.

She loved me, but we never married.
She didn't want kids, but loved them truly.
She didn't want to be held down, she wanted to be carried...
Her dream was to grow wings... To drift like a fairy.

I rather see her fly free than be locked in this worldly cage with me.
I just wish our fates weren't separated now by me having to age... I  wouldn't be stuck here on Earth with such a long wait to see her face.

Best friends, lovers. I was your boy, you were my girl.
On the beach, or under the covers.
The memories are priceless, forever shared with one another.
I wish we made more before it was over, but it was enough.
I won't cry over this, but it will be tough.

I'm coming soon my love... Not today nor my intention, but I promise to live with meaning and more careless abandon; to let go of what doesn't matter, and remember your favorite things, whether I am down here, or beside you in heaven watching the angels' wings' flutter.

One early morning along the quiet forest floor, a little mushroom popped it's head out of the ground. Looking in wonder, he pushed passed the dead leaves and dirt to reach for sunlight below the canopy.

"STOP!" said the forest. "You have been unruly. We have seen you try to grow with discord and disregard, denying the order. And what are you, alien? Identify as plant or animal!"

The little mushroom responded, "But I only did as you did; made a home. Like the rooted trees pillar in our leafy halls, as the moss nestles among the rocks, or how the birds nest in their hollows, why am I so different? I am both you and me."

The forest inhabitants pondered. In this time the mushroom grew and died. It took too long for the trees and the birds and the moss to agree by the time their fellow forest friend had passed.

The trees, too slow to interrupt, cried out to all, "What have we done?!  we may not have thought him as beautiful as the rest of us, but the mushroom was a part of this forest!"

As a parting token, the little fungi grew a network of strands below the trees roots to support them all, feeding and protecting them even in death.

With it's dying breath, it dropped it's spores, to which would grow bountiful among the forest floor, among the trees and the rocks and moss. They had not known it, but the little mushroom was a part of a greater fungi, miles across. It had been there as long as the forest, keeping the trees company since time began, before humans, before us.

Only the trees had the knowledge to understand the little mushroom, but their voices were too quiet, too slow. So the trees let the mushrooms grow in their branches and on their logs to give them a home.

Three daggers in my back and a sword through the heart...
I apologize if I don't get up as quick as others, or run as fast.
I'm trying to figure out where the hilts are.

Brandon,

To see you grow up and turn into the man you are is a gift... A young man, smart, kind, thoughtful to others. I have no criticisms to offer you in regards to the path and choices you have taken and made. I feel swelling pride for you as I write this and cannot wait to see and hear the adventures you will embark on in your life.

Having you as my cousin touches me and reminds me that I have an impact on the world, and for as long as you have looked up to me as your older cousin, I will always feel a sense of responsibility and caring for you, invigorating in purpose, which helps craft the home in my heart. Seeing time pass as sand in an hour glass, I can only glance in retrospect and see the years and times as a family you have shared with us; if it were a scoreboard, a test, the sum of all of your actions: a resounding win or success story on all counts. You are a gift to those around you and your happiness and caring will change this world for the better as it already has changed mine. Thank you for being my cousin, but more so for being the person you always are. You are a blessing and a light. Don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise or believe differently...

To end my letter to you, I will leave you with this: I can't wait to grow old and share more time with you; to go fishing, to go camping, to carry on our family's traditions and dinners which are so special among families, to share this chance to be alive and breathing, and to share our hearts with others. Go forth Brandon. Go forth and share your love with the world. Light your torch and burn it. I love you Brandon.

Your Cousin,
-Kevin

If it were a wish or a dream, I wouldn't feel the way I do inside.
Existence and living have me terrified.
I just want to run, I just want to hide
While I chase courage around my heart which flies.

I wish I could write a poem or letter that would inspire,
But all I have are words and begging phrases.
I'm sure at this point you're tired.

Dropping words my actions no longer defend,
I guess I will remain.

Locked in a cage of my own desire.