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Kevin Eli Jan 2013
You don't ******* care about me.
The only reason you let me breathe and eat is so you can exist.
I could barely move when I didn't keep you next to me.
The yelling in my ear wouldn't let me think.
You only let me keep my job so I could give you my money.
You stole from my family, lied to my friends, made me isolate.
I ended up turning into two people, my cowardly controlled self, and YOU.

It's been five weeks since I have seen you and I am doing fine.
I don't need you, I don't want you.
I don't miss you.
Just don't try to bump into me in an alley.
I will **** you...
...I will **** myself.
Kevin Eli Jan 2013
Will I remember the relief I felt when I was dragged into those rooms?
Will I forget the love that I threw away, the conundrums and curses, I wove into my loom?
The life I threatened to **** away when I couldn't see myself in the mirror?

It will never come back if I don't come around.
It will always be there if I walk back and start over, remembering to follow the sound.
The rooms will always be there, waiting to accept me with open arms.

By empathy, I take vicariously from those who say God keeps us from harm.
By praying for me, as I pray for you.
Release me from my suffering and give me an honest you.
That would be enough,
That will do...

Ad Infinitum.
I'll just do what my heart tells me to do.
Kevin Eli Jan 2013
Screaming with no words
So **** loud nobody could hear
What was said that you would hear? Only an echo from a mouth
To, and through your ear
Kevin Eli Jan 2013
I saved my friends life today.
He was afraid,
Afraid of letting go of his fears.
His ego was whispering in his ear, not letting go.
I spoke to his snake and listened to it's hisses.
I told it to shut the **** up.
It struck and missed.
I dodged it without moving and let my diamond body deflect the fangs.
I won't let you hurt him anymore.
Your teeth are named fear and denial.
You coiled my friend and isolated him.
I twisted your skin, pried, unwrapped it and let him breathe and cry.
To be free of the suffering yet embracing the pain,
My brother thanked me, got up off the ground and was able to walk away.
I looked at you serpent, on the ground, alone now and astray,
Took our Vindication and made it a sword to slay.
Struck you down and cut your head off. On the ground you laid.
Freedom. Forever more. Unafraid.

You're welcome my friend, go hunt down another snake,
And save another's life, so he can another's.
Right now, Today.
Kevin Eli Jan 2013
My eyes shifted at the sight of you.
I almost let it take me away.
You walked across the room and I couldn't close the door.
A sense of increased paranoia and tension caused my nerves to flash
Right before my moment, right before your eyes.
Kevin Eli Jan 2013
I never yielded to you.
No matter how hard you hunted me down.
I didn't have to run I found out.
I just had to stand my ground.

I stood above your altar and read my own passages,
Of the friends others had lost because of you,
Of the enemies made, the loves that did fade
The families torn and bodies frayed.

You can never ******* have me. Never.
Go ahead and whisper in my ear.
Do it for two and a half years.
See what I will do, when you don't get to be in here.

The only problem I have,
Is that you can't leave.
Because you are in my head.
And if I tried to **** you,
I would be dead.

But I can choose to live or to die.
I can choose to tell the truth or to lie.
I can believe or deny.
What goes on inside...

So decide.
What your reflection shows you gives you the chance
To look into your own Devil's eyes.
Your inner demons and self-hate/fear is all in your head. You have the choice to try and control it, let it control you, or just let things be and be fine with the truth.
Kevin Eli Jan 2013
Fold and unfold
Spiral, split and entwine
Find the disorder in the order
Realize the time signature of fibrillation
Left right, Left Right
Inconsistent breath
Offbeat heartbeat
Shaky palms and unsteady legs

Your quivering voice says,
"I love you..."
I respond with firm stance.
"...I love you too."

Don't ever be afraid to share your love my darling.
For you need it as much as I do.
You know who you are.
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