In hopes to live an ideal life
She concealed herself in a room
A room painted with the hues of her soul
Isolated and locked for others not to see

One day this guy saw this trampled room
Wandered and aimlessly searched for it's door
He tried so hard yet he may so blind to see
The door he's searching was inside of him

But the girl knew this guy will come
The guy which may set her free
Though she hoped and dreamt for this moment to betide
Neither two of them were connected by the strings of fate

It's been a while
Since the day I walked this field
Where I brought you
On our last day together
The grass haven't grown
The trees still stood tall
Everything seemed frozen in time
I know when I look down
The day, month, and year
Wont ever change
Because on that summer day
The worries disappeared
I moved on now
It seems unfair
Knowing time had stopped for you
Since I brought you here
To your peace

What is lost then could never be found
Not on the books you burried yourself in
Nor even under the fort you call apathy
What you've lost is carried away with time

It's too late; your youth has slipped away
Next to the many regrets you collected since
Were the choices that have dulled your soul
Choices that ultimately colored you gray

Years gone by though the consequences--
The results of your very negligence
Still haunts you with the ghost you know
The ghastly ghost of your wasted youth

Seven days to celebrate another year wasted
And despite knowing the reason of solitude
It still makes you wonder, how each year--
Your birthdays get to be grayer than the last

I was just a random book
Displayed in a blank library
Collecting dust and tears
Yet, untouched and contended

Then you suddenly picked me
Decided to read every chapter
Recite the poems I wrote
Since the day I learned to write

I was happy that day
To be suddenly the center
Of a galaxy I never thought
To even exist on the same universe

Books were meant to be read
So how lucky I was to be baptized?
Being a complete book on a--
Very unexpected circumstance

But for my misplaced expectations
You eventually got tired of reading
And here I am
Back to the corner of the library

Collecting dust all over again

Curtains call, curtains fall
A bow ends up a play
Play where we stood tall
But ended up falling arrayed

Curtains call, curtains fall
A bow ends up a play
At last this long sought tale
Will come to an end

To the end without you
To the end with just me
To the end one last time

It felt lonelier in every other night
Between you and me, I was ashamed
To be the one who misses you now
After all the things I have said before

Remember the call that fateful night?
I swear from this heart to be over
Saying everything's wont be the same
Then bid you goodbye for certainty

Where were those words tonight?
To keep me company until tomorrow
Where were those words tonight?
To keep me from calling your name

Without me minding the days passing
Tears side by side they fall like rain
Between you and me, I am afraid
Being the one who cries tonight

There were regrets I rather forget
Like how I was here and not there--
Beside you where my heart should be
Where my heart should've stayed

I hate how it turned out to be this way
Keeping you happy at a distance
To a place you will never be hurt
After all the things I put you through

Along the last words we better left unsaid
Were the ones unheard but needed the most
'Cause when our pride felt righteous at times
Mistakes are what we ended up doing certainly

You took it hard, straight to your heart's repose
The only son you knew were nowhere home
And along your last words better left unsaid
It was his cold and distant back that faced you

Yet, Laura for what's her worth did soon realize
How quickly time fades with a passing glance
She did what's right but to no avail was it all
Until the final days warily caught up to her soul

Since then, my every passing days were bleak
I took it hard, against the solitude of my ego
The words I said were just there for a second
When the days passed, I wished to go back

I wish I can go back and tell you I'm sorry
Although I thought it was right to go away
My dear Laura was here but nowhere near
Time was cruel for mom and I'll suffer for it

It is always back to you
Even if traversing the path
I could not otherwise take
Would always bring me back

Back to your door

Does not matter which road I take
Since every crossroad and roundabouts
Will always bring me back tongue tied
Begging for another chance

And it seems very problematic
For a cold pigment of the past
To scare me this much
Life must have really gone backwards

As I'm always the recognizable joke
It is hard to even realize that--
I could not laugh at myself
Knowing how serious I am

On looking forward to be
Back at your door again

Tomorrow will always come
Dont regret anything you've done
Life is short and will always end
We will always meet on ahead

Feel the beating in your chest
Louder and louder it gets
Set your mind to realize tomorrow
Will always come for you

Seize the clouds above your hands
Fly beneath the world you used to know
Have yourself the satisfactions of life
And grow with a smile on your face

Steadily, claim your dreams
The world is yours and yours alone
Tomorrow will always come
Don't be afraid

Love is the mirror of the mind
For when you want to see yourself hurt
You choose someone you absolutely curse
Knowing anytime you can be bawling
Shouting at the top of your lungs
"I deserved to be miserable"

Love is the speaker of the soul
For when you want to be heard
You pour all the sound you can muster
And create something so loud
It makes a deafening sound of satisfaction
"I wanted to be heard!"

But most of all, love is a storm
Rage and angst swerving across a field
Of a once peaceful and bright place
You can only dream of returning
"Love is a storm" you said
Before drowning yourself for relief

In case you miss me in the night
Remember my favorite quote,
"Butterflies does not know
the stillness of the ground
but knows the vastness of it."

Be the butterfly that soars
Ever knowing of the turbulence
And the resistance of the winds,
Be the butterfly that lives
Knowing the vastness of the world

I always thought this could never last
As fate always finds a way
To keep me away from you

But since the day you taught me how
To feel obliged and hurt myself,
I crossed a line I could never see

Finally, a bittersweet touch
On an unending search of fulfillment
That took an awful lot of time

Just to finis--

How is it allowed to be that lovely?
A rush I can't shake up, oh so timely
Smile so **** pure feels much holy
Beauty grander than days of sunny

Good old songs from distant past
Love and adoration I could not mask
All those things she could ask
If falling in love with her forever lasts

Blue is a color not in her palette
Since her world knows no dejected orbit
A face I've been waiting for a whole week
Bringing the sunlight after her feet

If only she could be just one color
My heart wont be in so much trouble
But when the rain I curse was pouring
A rainbow of her hues is all I'm wishing

You said 'I loved you'
I smile
Never knowing
You said loved
Unfair
Cause I still do

In a moment that seemed an eternity,
Silent drapes covering a forgotten coffin
Swayed sideways on folded creases
Neatly revealing a rather sunny eyes

It was when the times were different
Greener grass was the only bound to be
Blessed with the innocence of youth
And drunk with the familiarity of life

Then spirit would have caused changes
Life long treasured accomplishments
But stories like such can be manacing
Since just looking at it proves to be so

Whenever Father Time feels relevant
Same conservation whispers in me
Those trying times already passed
Though I can't find it internally resolved

So back to the dusty old shelf it goes
Taunting it maybe, I won't let myself
Reminisce those times I was sunny
The youth I missed was bitterly over

Know that when the dawn breaks
And the first sound you hear
Is the unfaltering beat of your heart
I would be there holding your hands

Because of all the hands there is
Yours are what mine yearns
And of all the faces I know
Yours is what I see in my sleep

Stay, for old times sake
And leave when I can be
At peace with this lingering thought
That you moved on with your life

Granted these words are selfish
All I wish is for you to be with--
The person that will guide you home
Again

Stay, for old times sake
Leave if you want to
Be the person that will--
Guide you home

Again

My favorite part of the day
Would be the lifeless stare
At the setting distant sun
As I pass another day older

Much like how trees survive winter
I would shed my leaves first
Expose my bare skin and shiver
For the new bark to bear and flourish

With the blood I bled, I will remain
Sustaining the thirst to claim the skies
Soon the roots under and below
Rests as the sun above has been realized

For I am just a humble tree
A humble abode of my handful dreams
Humble enough to just want to be
More to life than a yesterday's plea

So with a silent voice, I will cast
A sincere wish for you to let me stand
For I am a tree and as a tree I'll thrive
Past all the four seasons I'll survive

For dreams are for dreamers
As life is for believers
Trees like me will show
That trees like me can grow

Day and night would be
The only thing separating you and me
You loved the sun, I adored the moon
Our love I knew won't matter soon

But before words be said and done
I wish to finally become the one
To finally own up to the words
"I would choose you over any other world"

Be it the moon, be it the sun
Be it my face when tears dry run
Just for a moment let me be
The one who'll choose you over me

Time I knew is of the essence
You and I could be less in mere seconds
So I'll save my tears for our next life
To where I know this love may survive

Look away and don't smile
Don't look into my eyes
I knew those views will only hurt
Crush and tear my heart apart

Polar opposite faces of a coin
Different yet fates rejoined
You loved the sun, I adored the moon
This love I knew will wither soon

And when you certainly do depart
I will let you go and see it's worth
To the next life, I'll be--
Waiting for us to finally be

It's hardly an effort for your ghastly soul
Leaving me sheltered on this prickled rain
Maybe for the reason that you imagined
It all happening in your head, ever since

Brewing in each step you took looking afar
A heavy storm circling on my chest
Joyful on the assumptions of being subpar
Calamity at worst, first among the firsts

I still, however, imagine how we slow-danced
Hopelessly against the wave of hands
Pushing us far from the reach of each other
Many chances taken but none won over

So it is hardly an effort for me not to cry
Falling over an unmistakable silver lining
You had me at the very least of efforts
Left me with the very least of trying

I regret that I'm still here
Facing the last trip of train,
Bound for one last beer
Repeat for tomorrow again

To think some few years ago
I was once a proud plethora
A kid with ambitions to show
Wits to which I'm not a goner

Wasted days of my youth
Earning a way to discredit
My parents' sense of repute
All the while dying underneath

Moments after the expected
Here I saw myself standing
On a glass panel window I wept
Wishing to be just good at lying

'My life is ******* brilliant' I said
Counting the cigars I had left
Smoking another 'one last' dread
Before the 12 AM train depart

For a long time I tried
To hold on to these tears
All the while realizing
How each drop is a part of me
I could have saved

Dear and close to my heart
Are each memory I have of you
All undeniably good times
And they only get better and better
As time regrettably pass

I would not want to waste another day
Crying on the thought of us
Daydreaming maybe, just maybe
You would eventually find your way
Back to me, again

We could have been a beautiful story
Two platonic worlds colliding
But fantasies will always be
As disappointing as the life
I am struggling to live

Well versed crowd dancing around us
Still, I have your hands with mine
Enter the night, we'll still be together
Terribly drunk so caught in ecstasy

Gather your things and feel the lights
On the way to the crowd, let's be lost
Then find each other's heartbeats
As they slowly synchronize

Hear it real close from the source
Just how your man can only imagine
Accidents? They naturally happen
Tonight might just be the one you need

The room will past every ticking second
But it's still you and me drunk terribly
And even if it meant time is wasted
It was still time well wasted with you

Won't let our plastic cups be empty
Accidents? Surely they could happen
The room it passed every ticking second
And it's still you and me drunk terribly

When the skies are a blanket of violet
Stars they whisper for tides to calm
Then, in the silence should I realize
It has grown to be the way I am living

It's only so far a smile can take the crowd,
In days far from the sunrise in the east
Those eyes will undoubtedly catch me
Crying a river, knee-deep in your nostalgia

The tomorrow we hoped never came
As I am now been made aware—
With a certain picture of us I found,
Hidden in a rubble of paper stacks

Flimsy paper depicting us on a way
Some people may find enviable—
Arms over each other's shoulders
Smiling, as I remember, every single day

With the silent ticking of the clock,
The picture felt heavier on my hands
And as I regretfully trace your smile,
There I found the few words I said

The several times I told you—
Of all the people in the world,
You looked so perfect, like the sunset
Drawing me nearer to your presence

It felt real in my mind, seeing you again—
Once more, just as before, in my arms
Like three Augusts ago, I found myself
Imagining what things could have been

But just like the sunset, you disappeared
Into the darkness of my life, I search
For someone to replace you, but tell me—
Since when do nights last this long?

Before the estrangements of my youth
Were the meaning and colors to everything
Had as many friends as I could and held--
As tight to the hopes of living for eternity

Lost in the euphoria of my early years
Perhaps gravely endulged to even see
That the youth I savoured for so much
Has began to slowly erode to a new reality

The friends I had, worked their life around
And as I tried to arrive to the same place
The reality of mediocrity and blandness
Brought me to kneel, fittingly ashamed

My castle of grandeur collapsed as though--
I was not under it's roof, calling aloud
To whom I probably had missed dearly
"Mom, am I still young?" There's no answer

Better to sleep away this terrible dream
Let the calamity of my incessant doubt
Claw away my flesh and bones as it is
Hastily leave me here; older but not wiser