He whispered "Do you love me?"

She screamed "forever & always."

I am hiding behind the false allegations you keep spitting out.
I am hiding behind this feeling of loneliness.
I know this because when I am alone I'm back at step one.
I never fixed myself, you never helped me get better.
If anything I am worse then I ever was before.
I gave my heart to a man who is already so broken.
I gave my heart to a man who claims he is in love with me.
I gave my heart to a man who isn't sure what love even is.
I was not so empty before you, you are draining me of everything.
You are cancer, you are killing me.
I hear the way you talk about her, I hear the things you would say.
I am not ignorant I see right through you.
If it is not one thing its another.
I swore to you my loyalty.
You swore the ******* same.
But looks who is sitting here in ******* misery.

This is what happens when you let go.
When you become vulnerable.
I'm just a choice you made.
I was on the list of lovers.
I made the cut I see, because I'm the one standing in front of you.
How could I have been so ******* stupid not to see the ******* truth.
Now I sit here wondering if everything is true or false
I wish you would of picked another.
I can't stand that I was just a ******* number for you to call when you were lonely.
I been faithful this whole ******* time to find out in the beginning you were exploring your options.
Now to wonder what's really true.
I have cried so many nights
& you're fine just living life.

I can't remember everything I said.
I can't remember all the movements or looks.
I can remember the way you smelled.
The way you smiled.
& the things I saw in you.
Some thing inside me told me everything was exactly where it was supposed to be.
You had this look to you, one I couldn't see through.
But I'd **** to get to know you.
You had the most intense ora.
It was beautiful ; it is beautiful.


Now that I know more then I knew then.
I'd **** to get to know you all over again.
I look at you & I truly see you.
You're not anymore damaged then anyone else.
You're not anymore broken then the next person.

You're my weight.
You keep me grounded.
You're my air.
I have to breathe in.

I can't remember when I knew.
I can't remember when I fell.
I can't remember how I knew.

I can't live my life without you.
Now that I know what it's like to have you
To love you.
To know you.*
To need you.

I don't want this to be another mistake.
Months down the road sitting alone regretting.
I don't want to resent you.
I don't want this to stretch me thin.
I don't want to have to say goodbye.
I'm terrified it's going to break me before it gets better.


I can walk this road alone.
I have done it once before.
I swear though I'll hold on
But you can't fight the indomitable.


We both have a troubled past.
I think that's what made me think I was save.
Turns out you're just as ****** up as I.  
You knew what it's like to feel empty, broken, and defeated.
You're the last person I thought to hurt me.
Look at me now, I'm gasping.


Its not fair that I'm just there.
Its not fair that I feel alone.
I told myself I'd never stay to fight a losing battle.
I feel so defeated.

I thought I could handle your baggage.
Your warned me.
I swore I could handle it.
But turns out I'm not armed for that.