One month,
Clean of mutilation.
No razor,
Dragged across my skin.

White thin scars,
Mocking my recovery.
Wanting me to add more,
So they have friends.

I won't give in,
I will be clean.
I will make you proud,
I promise.

Ana,
She took me.
She brought me down to her level,
Spitting those words at me;
You're fat!
You will never be small enough!

Little did I know,
She had a friend.
Mia tried to control,
Spewing profanities.
But I couldn't purge,
I was too weak.

So I restricted,
I counted the calories.
I could feel when I gained weight,
I could feel the fat.
I wanted to rip it off,
Just scream.

My head is throbbing,
From lack of nutrients.
But I don't care.
Until that scale says zero,
I will never be thin enough.

I want to see my bones,
Every single one.
I want to count my ribs,
I want to see my hips.

Why can't I be thin?
Like the girls in magazines?
Why am I fat?
While everyone is so tiny.

I want to see my bones,
I want to see them all.
I want to be light,
I want to be graceful.