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6 a.m. : wake up go to the bathroom, take a shower. Cry. Get out, dry off, get ready for school.
7:40 a.m.: put my shoes on, smoke, die a little.
8:30 a.m.: at school , hating every minute. Seeing her hurts.
3:30 p.m. : Get out of school, get high to get happy, Pass out, wake up.
6 a.m.
 May 2013 Kelly Landis
Jon Tobias
"I am leaving to see your mother"
He tells me

He hums
But it is not music

The doctor says people in end stage COPD
make noises like that

I hope that when I am old
my body will uncontrollably make music too

"Dad," I say

"Hmm"

"You know you ****** up at being a dad right?"

"I know" hmm hmmm hmmm hmm

"I'm proud of you anyways though"

"What for?"

" Time I guess. I couldnt say. Can you tell me just once that you love me?"

"Will it change anything if I do?" Hmmm hmmm hmmm

"No"

"I'm going to see your mother."
New series.
For warm summer days
Spent in the company of friends
In earshot of ocean waves
With sandy feet and ice cream cones

For all the pretty girls
In smooth black dresses
With luscious lips and curvy hips
Walking in red stilettos or clean Nikes

For countless sleepless nights
Glow-in-the-dark paint fights
Movies till dawn
Plenty of sneaking around

For the memories we make
For the laughter we share
For the love we have (and lose)
For the God we know
 Apr 2013 Kelly Landis
fdg
Untitled
 Apr 2013 Kelly Landis
fdg
I think I could start smoking and start dying
and stop caring and keep crying.

**** my skin,
tear
tear
tear it apart
with my anxious nails and teeth
and razor blades
I am my own brain surgeon
constantly picking
trying to figure out what is wrong with me.

I want you to take me into the woods again
mix my flesh with bark
and I can go home
****** with leaves in my hair
because sometimes there is no point in being good.
What is good, anyway?
 Apr 2013 Kelly Landis
marina
because it's like every time we're
in the same room, i can't
pull my eyes away from the curve
of your ears or the lines of your
knees or the way your veins are
permanently risen off the
back of your hands, like you're
always gripping something,
       you     just     don't    know    what

(it's overwhelming, knowing how
conveniently my hands would
fit into yours, so that you'd finally have
something to hold on to)
true story, yo. because every time i looked at him tonight it was like i couldn't breathe.  the way he knits his eyebrows together when he concentrates and his mouth would move with words you could tell he was itching to say.  and his hands.  i swear, it's like they're dying to be held.  wow, i forgot how creepy infatuation can make a person.
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