It's been so cold.
But only because I made it that way.
I'm bitter.
And freezing.
And I'm sorry
that I let go of something
that could make me feel
so warm.
I hope I freeze to death
because it's what I deserve.

I hope you know
that I always manage to burn the popcorn
And that I always have trouble falling asleep because
I'm thinking of how things could be
I hope you know that sometimes I have
a patch of hair that can't be tamed
I hope you know that I sometimes get frustrated
when I'm trying to work on something
and I keep getting interrupted
I hope you know that I don't really drink coffee
but prefer Coca and Tea
I hope you know that I don't eat cereal
and most days I don't eat breakfast at all
I hope you know I can take things to heart
and tend to wear it on my sleeve
I hope you know I'm not all that lean
I hope you know that I sometimes clam up
for no reason at all
I hope you know that despite all of these flaws
I'm still trying my best to be a good person
and I'm still just not good enough

Chapped lips
icicle finger tips
this is what I've become
my own eclipsed sun
it's hard to venture
on
and
on
and
on

My screen door
speaks to me
with creaks and rattles
that crescendo
as the moon
ascends
telling me of misplaced
ideals and
dead ends
.

Before anything
they kept me
warm,
then protected me
from imagined monsters
and harm.
Later they held my
passion
and a person in addition,
now they wrap
my toes and get pulled
over my head
where I sit in sorrow
with an
empty
bed
.

Oh, how I pity my poor pessimist
Do you not mind what I scribe?
Does curiosity never approach you
When I know you can't sleep at night

If you do, I hope you discover
That I write simply- you & I.
With my being beyond the horizon
In these words you must rely

A carpenters daughter,
(It's true) I was never taught, how to fix the lonely
But I assure you dear
You won't be in the slightest disappointed

My entire life is an intricate patchwork
Of multiple afflictions
Through hotel rooms & glamour
Abuse & drug addiction

"Through bathrooms & ballrooms
On dumpsters & heirlooms"
Baby, we'll be fine
I know in my minds eye
We'll be fine

As for the sea
I feel the vibrato,
A ripple when you're lonely
But the tides will greet you, excited at the pier
To bring you back home to me  
For darling,
I long only to bury my tear-stained face
In the man too far to say he's home
I do not choose the life I live but it's the only one I can call my own.

*One day
I promise
You will wake in bliss
Between ruffled sheets
And my petite, contented figure
The pessimist will embody nothing
But the purest form of happiness