FOR SALE- cheap
Make me an offer...today
I can no  longer afford to keep
Since its not working - that is to say
It runs okay
Just not for me...
...Is it able to do ....
....all it's supposed to
So its just a thing now that is in my way
What its real value is
I haven't a clue
Just needs to be gone
Out of my sight
OUT OF the memories
That are all torn apart
Comes the need to succeed
As i am Sellng cheap ....a one- owner heart.

NO TRADES PLEASE .

Just what makes us think
perfection ...
is something we should strive for
some sort of goal
something we need
to make us whole
something that we're missing...
thats beyond our control
what makes us think there is such a thing
Or that we deserve it.

I don't know
if any of that is so
or if I ever had the chance
to ever really know
because I have not had
a life ...
for me to live

I had one for someone else
to control ....so...
I guess you could say
that I was out of control
but I wasn't perfect
never thought I was
I just had to counterbalance
in such a way ..as to stay
somewhere near the center

So feeling  that way
Created in me
a need to succeed
I had to seek perfection
in everything I've done
or I would have quit.. the game
long long ago
and that again
would have been out of my control

What makes a driven ego
Be
by trying to survive
for

creating a need
when someone else
has put on the brakes
trying to make sure that
you never
arrive ...
...at any destination ...
anytime or any place
It didn't matter
where when why or what      
how arriving there
without their God in my pocket
Could somehow be
some sort of disgrace..is
Idk because once again
That should not have been...

...Out of my control

now I'm left sadly empty
trying hard not to fill back up
with remorse anger or regrets
because if I was a mess before
and didn't know it
to do all that
would be the end
of all antes and all bets
as this game has no Bluffs
or any winners
it.... sure.... like....
seems that way to me
in or out
that's all it's about

just how far down there
Will they allow themselves to go
When there is no other teams

ldk...I walked away
long long ago
Without knowing
where I was bound
but what I didnt know
was just how hard
they had a hold
trying always and forever
To do anything they could
in dragging me down

so I'm glad that I was
always able
to keep me at least close
to the Center.... of Perfection
or as close as one may reach
in order to be able
finding something
to strive for
So  Im  aware that
somehow I was given
exactly what I needed
to keep me on..... going on
Finding a reason for livin

because  although there is no
such thing as perfection ...except maybe
as a check on ... a reason for
a counter- balance
When a life is
  predetermined
  to be filled with nothing...
.. but rejection
from those who were
suppossed to  help you
find direction .....
....not to make sure that you get lost !!

Someday the words will be right there
Of poignant value and so much social  implication
That it will ensnare
the unwary
Hopefully probing deep
for some thoughtful inclination
That such effrontery
would normally inflame so many
But here I have the last word
the last meme.

the quote of quotes,
the Ayatollah of RocknRolla
My words set hard in Stone
soft in gist as jest
clearly seen
To be ... absolutely correct ,
mirror bright in reflection
Telling  in the action.
what they will....albeit in slight delay
Inspiring  more ...I hope
Than simply
a reason to smile,  
May they become
a direction
Hopefully  to be a remindier
that we may have lost our way
But not our self respect
Sorely tested
But never completly arrested
Is our humanity
If  that be so then
may some laughter
some genuinely thoughtful
moments after
To comment a silent homage
As a few will  ....suddenly take action,
leaping up and aside
..once it will dawn upon
All who are drawn in
by those
small ...elaborately engraved words
..in hopeful consideration
To  inspire ..both
Elevating  thoughts
and
Tentative  to raucous laughter


               

 ALL MY LIFE
   PEOPLE HAVE LOOKED
    DOWN ON .. WHILE WALKING
     ALL OVER ME....SO NOW THEN ...
JUST  LOOK....
..at what YOU too  
   are doing right now  ,


I can't t wait ...oh OH! Oh no.. yes I can ! I can wait just fine
,

You may find that I seem to be
All shut down emotionally
Wary like some cornered animal
Anytime someone seeks a deeper me

I truly have no gauge to lend you here
Or mathematical statistic to apply
In order to explain what differences
Do or don't apply as to what you...
...and what I perceive to be
Distance , temperature, cynicism..
Cultural divide , from some past hurt pride
Because I cannot be the judge of my beings
Ability to be Unconsciously projecting
, if it is like some background security app
That You can see as some... constant guard, ,
Intent on saving  my  frailty from becoming a heart of stone , choosing alone as ....
...my default position
It was..never set forth as mine...
....or anyone elses lifetime  mission


All I know to tell you is that upon some
self reflection,
my heart is chained down and tightly padlocked
With most finding all inroads securely blocked
.... padlocked without a key
Because I am not really all that easy
To reach down into..and open
..,beyond a simple invitation
as we each seek out the others own
unique and personal combination.





human frailties...

It's not those creations we're so proud of
Or those ideas we perceive
Not our wonderful childrens public persona
Not the lasting impression we hope to leave

It's not an endowment
Or business built by love
Not the tree we planted in the yard
Or the peace inspired painting.... of a lovely dove

Don't get me wrong I have no cause
To diminish any or all efforts you pursue
I applaud  all good intention, success or fail
And all the things that you will do

I just believe it's not the things we create
That are to be what is thought of....as  our real desire
To leave for a marker as to who we were
As much as it will be our real Empire...
by way of those things...that we do inspire

We may never see...and yet...maybe...

By the grace of all goodness
we live lives of gifts unnoticed
like pebbles in a whirlpool
we get lost in our lives and quotas

miracles of such proportions
considered just for the fun they give
With all lost sincerity miracles exist
that should be...
...celebrated through the times we live

notice the lack of integrity ?
the dismissal of all the world's condition ?don't allow the beauty or bounty of..
... these gifts be lost
by means of sad attrition

polar caps melting and people die
temperature soaring to an all-time high
yet the indisputable truth is lost
in the constant push forward

saving the world can only save ourselves
By saving our own Nation...
....becoming a house undivided
We show that
no future is or will ever be....
already decided!

I passed by some memories
Along the trail of my life today
I didn't say a word
or even ask them to stay
I just kept moving on
It's not that I have any sad regrets
That make me feel I owe some long past debts
The past is exactly what it will always be
Like a flower encased inside solid glass
you can't smell it or touch it
But it can always be seen

So call me sentimental
call me hard as steel
call me non-committal
Or what ever you will

Nothing said outside of my mind
can ever reach so deep as to find
what I dredged up a long long time ago
  So go ahead  say what you will
Or what ever you  feel you must
You might even find the very thing
me and myself never found to discuss

It could even turn out to be
What could be the exact key
Allowing me to stop dredging up
some sad past regret pretending to be
Just another memory
So maybe this time while I'm down
I can scratch fresh earth
Dredge just enough to plant a seed
For a long overdue rebirth
Then even if I find that it never did exist
I can at least cross it off
That sad , tired and timeworn list!!