Bound by the deceptive images
That so often march parade like
Across the blank canvas of my imagination
Daring me to post date a check on my reality
In hopes of cashing in while the exchange rate
Allows me to find interest beyond
accumulated wealth
Those invaluable moments that penetrate the soul
Destined to Forever hang just Out Of Reach
But never out of sight or out of mind

And in those flagging moments of  impassionate death
When all time and reality ceases to exist
In that momentary slice of Eternity
Where dreams go in search of validity

To find themselves bound by the deceptive images
That way way too often march parade like
Across that crowded canvas of my past
That run together like watercolor hopes
Drawn on the account made insolvent
By the voided and unsecured loan
Of all my heartfelt losses still bouncing
From cashing in that post-dated check on my reality
That left me overdrawn and broke

Picking it up they read
I'm gone. I'd tell you why
You never listen to anything I've ever said
So..Blankety blank blank blank blank
Good - bye
There.... that ought to satisfy

When I first met you
It was thru an Open Door
But I'm not sure I'm welcome here no more
So I...
... I'm going to say goodbye

Don't get me wrong
I'm not trying to say
That we didn't have our fun
I just got this feeling that time is done

And so...
... I can't say I didn't know
Once the minutes and the days began to move so slow
And I think you know
That it wasn't... the same way
That it had begun

For all that time alone
I will now have
I'm caught up and paid in full
As I hope...
... You have as well

Been compensated
By  something that you will retain
When I'm gone and silence Reigns
I've been there before and I know
Just how it feels
And it's never easy

I came in through an Open Door
So today...
... I'll be going out a different way
Cuz I don't want to spoil
That feeling back then
When you let me in
So that then I can pretend
It never really did close
Even though
Even though we will both know
That it's just for show

Leaving out the back door now
Gently I pull it closed behind me
Don't want no scene or slamming door... To remind me
That it had its time
And it had run its course
No there's no denying as I go
On my back is a big remorse

That will bear its weight on my mind
Until that day that I will find
It's all but gone
That day...
... Won't be coming soon
It will take awhile for me to smile
And to sing a different tune
In the back of my mind

So now I've walked about a hundred yards
I turn back to wave at what once was
Shades are all drawn
And it's all dark inside
So even though you know we silently agreed
My leaving has still hurt your pride

I know... Oh how I know
I've been there before

Somewhere along the line
For the man who finds religion
He will make the decision
To never publicly deny God

Now by all extended graces
There are multiplicitous places
How long the daily Trail
Where we stumble and fail
To maintain that level

As we lash out in hateful
Banishment of reason for the ungrateful
Abandoned toy car - or bicycle
When it catches the shin and then you sin

By usng God's name in spewed
“And absolutely crude - attitude
All before you even separate
Thought from brain pain and verbal stain
For the embarrassment it  did instigate

Although I'm sure that the GOD
You've chosen to see in the Mind's Eye
That you have come to respect
Will have no mark against you if you gain
By those thoughts that you project

We do carry that germ of guilt
Carry okay around from all
that guilt that was built
Into those fire-and-brimstone - - toe the line
Pulling Wings off flies that I came to despise

As I struggled to put myself through those teenage years
When wearing this cover of all new senses and Sensations
Pushing me closer to that pit of fire
Where God would burn me forever like pulling Wings off flies... Forever
Through those teenage years

I guess you might say I did pay  
eventually I landed in that pit
By avoiding the fire I've come to find
Bad for me... during that time it was a perfect fit
Fortunately I was able to avoid the fire
But I say to this day that being half buried in all that dirt was working out gives me my grit
The truth is I fell on my face so often
So I ate so much dirt that all I really learned
Okay eventually  Was just how  to  spit  

So a long slow climb up - many times over
Gave back that.... that time had glossed over 
 recognition and acceptance of my sins

In my  weaker moments - of sadness my fears reappears
And that's when I finally concluded
This was not my humanity being deluded
It was simply my Humanity - my sanity being elevated

So no  I do not push - I do not pull
I do not call those lost hunters a poor fool
But then nor do I hide behind my new power
My light
Want... Desire or any false Pride

In my acceptance I do not dare to see myself
By looking into someone else's eyes - and recognize
Nor will I fight... Those times when Jesus Christ or God decides to power.... up my life ...up my light

Then it is beyond me - and it is fact... Not alleged
Then with real not false Pride I let it be seen
That there does still exist - out in that Primal mist
And inside of me there still grows a healthy amount ...of holy fear...
Enough
That you would never hear me
state
that there is no God

And this brings me to a question
About the athiest
And I can't even imagine that there would be an answer
What is out there in that atheist primal mist
That drives them out to so  publicly insist and in a sense
To be
acknowledging an illusion

Cannot be an entity..... Or any evil driven spirit
And many of them that I know in life and on the web
They seem to carry christian all good religions values and good - in their hearts

So I'm going to say this very day that when I first allowed the  spirit that I had once abandoned reenter I could not deny that in some ways I look upon it as an insurance policy
Indeed I admit that there is part of me that would like to hide that fact part of the journey so I hide nothing I'll lay it all out to be seen

So there for my agnostics - my atheist brothers who find the need to so  publicly and prominently proclaim in ways that seem but cannot be in fear of Retribution from the empty air the illusion to nothing there
so I see nothing for them to fear unless it is the very active defense that augments
Creating
what is otherwise missing

So I believe that some of them that reject but still fear some aspect some Spirit of that in the air for the very act of such exuberant denial in itself creates.... Something in the mind your silence never could.

So in a sense does that not seem to mean through.  
That they  insist  they need
an insurance policy
  if they're willing to pay a higher price
for higher premium they will
as long as they don't have to take possession.  
   WELl..I GUESS.!
But....
What a mess.!!

Set my mind on...
Overdrive
Set my sights on...
Horizon....
Zone.zone zonin in on me

I may never reach
That distant Peak...I seek
Where we can speak
So I beseech...you
To come back down
Where I can meet you...
On Uncommon Ground

It's because I held you
In such high esteem
That you have become
Something of a fantasy ...
... a spirit - a spectre
Caught in the dream-net
Of my wish collector

Pushing the pedal to the metal
Of my...
Deepest convictions
As I  roll on through...
... any thought ... of  you
As  something that's not true

But I know - though
Hard as I try.....
.... to convince my mind
There are no restrictions
No signs to find
Along the way - to delay
Progress... As I press

On and on on on
Rolling like thunder
Across a dark night sky

I will not seal- the deal
That deal I made
Or let the memory... of that dream
Fade
Or ever go staid

There's nothing in that void I have made
To try and deny
That there is always the possibility
That I am able and have the ability
My my my... my A..B ility..to find

That AB...solutely anything
Anything is Possible
Every bridge is crossable

By keeping my sight set
On her eyes
Her eyes on me

All love is impossible...
... in it's very existence as
A possibility
That everyone relies on
As being... Just beyond the next Horizon