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 Jan 2013 kdugan
Seán Mac Falls
All the new flowers have gone.
I see flocks of birds flying away,
The waters of blue mountains
Fall, rush and scold, are running
Cold— wind, whispers and goes,
Lonely as a tree without leaves.
 Jan 2013 kdugan
jeffrey conyers
If I ever forgot to apolgize to anyone that I have hurted.
My fault.
I owe you more.

If I never succeed at my dreams and aspiration.
I'm personally the blame.
Call it, my failure.

We can have the best of ideas and fail to live up to them.
All because we didn't try.
Call it, my fault.
Plus, my failure.

For anything to ever succeed.
It requires, a willing particpant.
Who have a clue to what success means?

So, while we might lose things we should have fought for.
We must address, why we never done more to hold on?
Especially when you realize it's your fault for your failure.

Lonliness, is a sad feeling.
When the one you love has moved on.
 Jan 2013 kdugan
Mikaila
Write on me.
Scrawl a curly-lettered note.
Let it hate me, let it love me, but I want to feel it.
I want it all along my collarbones, and choking around my neck.
I want it twisting down my arms and pulling softly at my spine.
I want it caving in my stomach, I want it eating at my heart,
I want it sinking in beneath my skin,
I want it to reach the inside.
I want words of yours carved in my ribs,
So that when I gasp another breath,
They scrape along the underside of my flesh.
I want them to find my pulse, to grip it like a vice.
I want your sentiments racing through my blood like venom and cure,
I want your words wrapped around my lungs like gauze,
Curling through my mind like smoke.
I am so fragile.
I want you to write on me.
Tell me how you'll touch me again, break me again.
Make me stop.
Say how you'll hate me again, love me again...make it stop!
Write me eternal, fleeting,
Stop time.
Stop this.
Stop me.
Stop, oh, stop...
Please, write on me.
 Jan 2013 kdugan
Mikaila
Outside the window, the rain beats a battle hymn.
The sky is raging, throwing itself at the cold, lifeless ground.
We are caught in between, you and I, in between life and death.
The rain, so full of passion, against the frigid, icy world.
Fight! Win!
Tomorrow the ground will be soft and muddy, the remnants of grass visible for the first time in months.
Tomorrow the dawn will break upon victory.
Tonight, the battle rages on, and the thunder roars its insults at the apathetic cold, and the lightning strips the world of color and sears away the winter’s numbness.
 Jan 2013 kdugan
Mikaila
Black
 Jan 2013 kdugan
Mikaila
I will keep shocking you until you realize that I will always shock you.

I will do precisely what you wish I wouldn't do,
Until you understand that my life depends on you.

I will keep dying until you realize that I will always die, and that there is nothing you can do about it.

I will throw away the things you love in me,
Until my love is all there is and all you see.

I will keep hurting until you realize that you care if I do.
 Jan 2013 kdugan
Mikaila
Astonishing
 Jan 2013 kdugan
Mikaila
Oh darling, you'll never realize just how incredible this is for me.
How you can tell me my worst nightmare has come to be,
And ask me to accept it, and I do.
Oh my love, you really don't have any clue.
I am astonishing myself, and you have no idea what it is.
No notion of something impossible as this.

I am surviving the only thing I never thought I could.
And you assumed I always had and always would.
You see me and I go on, permanent as the night.
You can't imagine what it's like,
To do what I've been told to do.
To have more weight than you can carry heaped upon you.
And then more,
And more,
Within the shortest wink of time's despair.
To be expected to seem as if it's light as air,
Even as you wonder if tomorrow you'll even be there,
Crushed this next second? Or this one?

You don't know the edge I stood on, toes curling over an emptiness that yawns,
Wind tickling my back
To make my stomach leap the gap,
You don't know what it feels like to take a deep breath
And take a step,
When you know that there is nothing there in front of you but air,
And a ground too far away to be perceived or even dreamed. No matter how long I prepared,
The fall loomed at a sickening skew.
You have no idea what I've just done for you,
How it is the most I've ever done for anyone.
How each day I fight the ***** of fear that I'll be gone.

Morning breaks and I wake up thinking, "Today I too will break. This is it.
Today I will feel the force of all of it."
You don't know how each night I lay down, shocked that it was not today.
You don't know just how easy it would be to walk away,
Send it all to hell and say enough.
I am not trapped here by anything but my choice to love.

And that is why my existence is extraordinary,
And shall be.
No matter where I go from here,
Each day that I wake up with that crushing fear
And live anyway
No matter how much else may go astray,
I will have already been astounding for just that.
I will have already fought the hardest battle:
There is no winning
There is no losing
No banishment of scared and sad and lonely
There is only

I am not dead yet.
 Jan 2013 kdugan
Mikaila
I think I might have better been a fish
Skittering up and down among the waving weeds,
Free of thought and love and dream and wish,
Cuddled by a current like a breeze.

And I would linger on or then be eaten
Because those are the options to be had.
But never by another bled or beaten-
My wanting blood now cool and never sad.

And never would I drown in pride or sin
Because I'd take my breath beneath the water
But if I were to drown and nature win,
My departure from the world would hardly matter.

How lovely life would be in blue green quiet,
To know just what I should be and to be it.
Never again to feel love or deny it,
And forget what I have seen soon as I see it.
i have it with me yet
that pink-white morning rose-
browned now but still fragrant
with memories of your gentleness
retaining even now
a trace of the care that i know
you must have lavished upon it
before you gave it to me
it lies flattened between the pages of
Little Women
i dare not move it from there
for fear that the petals will crumble
a sole physical reminder
of something shared
a comforter when i am
in a pensive mood
feeling like i’ve lost
that nothing is going my way
i look between the pages
to find a smile
and a tear
share equal space
on my nostalgic face

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
    22.01.2013
    Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
Thank you Aditya for the idea and Kirti for the title suggestion!
 Jan 2013 kdugan
Jeanette
You are still a good person when you wake up naked
next to a man you don't remember
you are still a good person when you have to find out his name
by digging through the mail sitting on his kitchen table.

You are a good person when you call your brother's girlfriend
that word that she often acts like.

You are a good person when you take free drinks from men at bars
without returning a favor.

You are still a good person when you choose to let go of your parent's religion.

Don't let the ghosts of guilt dance outside of your windows,
like flames,
they will engulf you.

Don't pray for forgiveness,
forgive yourself.

Don't be cocky,
don't get walked upon,
you are worth not more than them, but you are worth just as much.

Cool it a little on the ***, Cheech and Chong,
it makes you inarticulate
and your dad will find your stash one day,
and flush it  all down the toilet.

Say thank you more often and be more sincere.
People will not always be kind,
know that it is special when they are.

Stay in one spot, even after you **** everything up,
let it breath, you'll see it's not so bad.
Know that the ugly sits in all of us regardless if we
stay long enough to let anyone else see it or not.

When counting friends, count them on one hand,
bigger numbers will never mean "less alone."
Choose quality over quantity every time.

Let people finish their sentences,
don't pretend to know what they are going to say;
You do not now, and will never... know it all.

When the first boy you love treats you like something that is
disposable or easily replaced,
don't cheat on him.
LEAVE, GO, Don't look back!
Relationships are not jail sentences,
you don't owe them time.
Besides, his forgiveness
will never mean you can forgive yourself.

When that one other boyfriend introduces
you to his friends as his roomatte,
don't later follow him to bed.
Demand that he treats you like you would like
your future daughter to be treated.
Because you are somebody's daughter,
and your mother, she loves you a **** of a lot!

Don't be afraid to run home when your heart hurts.
Your mother's house will be clean and
it will smell like fresh coffee early in the mornings.
Drink your coffee by the kitchen window
watch the sunlight saturate the fruit trees.
let your mother kiss your forehead, then say goodbye.
Remember, there was a reason you left.

One last thing…
When that one terrible thing happens
that you don't often talk about
Don't blame yourself for hiding, and crying.
Don't shake in crowded rooms,
don't need ***** to talk to strangers.
Please, don't question why it didn't mess her up
like it messed you up.
You saw her scars that could be easily seen
but you will never see the ones she hides beneath her skin.

I bet you want to know if things get better
Um, I'm not sure they do.
Things do get different
and somehow,
when you get to that point, different will be enough for you.
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