I wonder how long a **** will stink under the covers
Does ****-stink disappear
Or does it spend all night
Just lingering there

Please mister,
Don't try to save me
I'm not your damsel in distress
I'm a kick *** vaginad gladiator
Who happens to be having a bad day

I guess there are a couple of people on this site
Complaining they are being stalked by another member
All I can think of is
Where the hell is my stalker?!
Am I not stalk-worthy?
The status symbol of a stalker
Eludes me
Maybe I should make one up
I'll bet half of them are fictitious, anyways

Do you think we can't tell when you like your own poem?
We assumed you liked it when you hit post
I wish I could think of a good analogy to self like
I'd say *******
Except the ending isn't nearly as good
And the motivation not as obvious
Would you ******* if everyone could see you do it?
Everyone can see you liked your own poem.

Ladies and girls
The secret that will save you heartbreak
Here it comes....
Never, ever, ever
Tell someone you love them
Until you feel comfortable
Farting in their presence

You expect him to betray
He's a boy
That's what they do
According to you
You predict
A bunch of ****
And wonder why "everyone" dumps on you
If I treat someone like they're going to turn into a *******
They will surely get sick of it
I will have forced a guy like he
Painted into the corner of my prophecy

We got a lot of people on this site
Who seem to believe
They can "unlike" the truth
Away
I'm gonna take every "unlike" as a compliment
And if you block me
I'll know I really got it to you hard
And I spanked your ***
Which is now wearing my handprint in red

It is unreasonable
To hate someone
Because they don't love you
It is unreasonable to expect
Anyone to love you
When you act like that

There is a very fine line between poetic love
And staking
Especially to the stalker

I dont even want to know what iambic means
It sounds like something medical I might try if **** were impacted in my intestines.

Dear patient
We're sorry to hear you have some mental issues
Let's get you addicted to this drug
Frying your brain;
That should help with your mind problems

You can't love someone into loving you
Either they don't
Or they do
If you can only go by what they say
You know they don't love you anyway

I don't know what's harder
Loving someone too much
Or having someone you care about
Love you too much
Either end is painful

Eagerly awaiting the poem
Written by a man
Complaining he was used for ***
It does happen
I mean, I've used guys for ***
But they always took it as a compliment

She was 13, and him, in his 30s
According to him,
He fell in love with her
I don't know her take on it
But she did commit suicide
After he went to jail for 30 years

Behind any bannar he chose to fly
Or wrap it in
He contributed to her misery
And that's what happened to the boy I loved first

Once upon a time
A wise girl named Krista
Said a lot of great ****
She thought everyone would copy it
But she was bigger in her head
Nobody gave a **** what she said

You're so weird
And the weirdest part is
You'd be at the perfect level of weirdness
If you didn't try so energetically
To be even weirder
Than you already are

Glistening
Amber
Kaleidoscope  (a la corn and carrots)
Colliding olfactoraly
Straining
Struggling
At last,
Sterile

The one who the one you're in love with is in love with
Is never gonna be good enough
According to you
But me thinks your opinion is slightly askew

Ahh
Another poem about the moon
Don't worry
It will be out of fashion soon

It is a tragedy that being tragic
Has become so fashionable

Is there anything in the world  More utterly Tempting
Than un-popped bubble wrap?

I don't want to step on anyone's toes, here
But please stop trying to tell me you know what happens after we die
More importantly
It doesn't matter
What happens
After we die

See...i can tell you're a big thinker
And I don't want to tinker
But I can't understand
Why you think about such little things
So big of the time

Is there a more redundant word
That I use so much
How absurd
Clearly ridiculous

How many times
Will you blame your lover
For breaking your heart
Before you realize
You're the Bozo who keeps Handing your heart over to
Heart-breakers

Here comes the bandwagon
Shiny and new
Every one on it
Is waving at you

Shut
Ads
****
****
Per
****
Birch
****
Sick
****
(Wow...it lets me do **** and ****!)

Yep
I'm the ******* who accidentally
Gives the two year old
A blazing hot
Cheeto
(But at least I'm not the ******* who purposefully makes blazing hot Cheetos)

Sea monkeys
What a pitiful thing
I can sue
Cuz Red bull don't give me wings
Yet Sea monkeys
Sold in kid store shelves
For when parents want to
Punish themselves

Dude
You're rude
And ignorant too
You're Archie Bunker
Sneezing all over
Infected with flu
Your the pile of dogshit
In the front yard
The completely limp ****
That just can't get hard
You're the too wet buggar
That just won't flick off
You are saggy *******
All wrinkly and soft
You are the Grinch
Without the grown heart
You are the publicly
Loud, stinky ****
You are the gum
Stuck on the shoe
I can't think of one good thing
To say about you

Ya know
If she lived 2000 years ago
We'd probably have a "Miss Cleo"
Chapter in the Bible
I can't tell if that's hilarious
Or too sad to think about

You talk all this crap about immigrants
So tell me
What tribe do you belong to?

The emergency room will still send a bill if the patient dies.
You don't get a refund if the plane falls out of the skies
Nobody enforces if the psychic lies
Contracts aren't binding in matrimonial ties
I'm not sure fast food uses potatoes in their French fries
If you see it on tv
It is probably lies
All obvious truths to anybody with eyes

You're so full of ****
Someone needs to say it
But you will sit
And claim I'm full of ****
It's a prerequisite
For people full of ****
To see it fit
In all who claim you're full of ****

General Custer
A celebrated military hero
Once accidentally
Shot his own horse in the head
While he was riding it
True story

Talking to you is like eating oodles of noodles
With a spoon

His name is Jonny Dickumb.
He might have trouble finding a wife

My daughter loves my poetry
As if she doesn't know
She is the most beautiful
Poetic thing
I've ever created

We're not here to ease your bones
Or lull to sleep your weary souls
We're here to shake you til you crack
Send you down to Hell and back
If of this site you have no use
You're looking for ol' Doctor Seusse

Ugh! You little ****
In my mind you sit
I suppose I'll get over it
Loving a little ****

He's a really short guy
With a huge *****
A surprise to all who see
Here's this tiny man
And his ****
Hung right down to his knee

Chewbacca never said a word
But we always know what he meant

I'm watching a documentary about a company that makes What they call "*** robots."
The male one is called "Harry Harddrive"
He has a huge *****
And no tongue
Seems like a waste of money to me
(Eleven thousand dollars!)

Remember when you were a little girl
And your parents got you
For some dressy occasion
Those little shoes
With the half-inch heels
But you felt so grown
And mature
In your "High heels"
And that's when you got your strut

It wasn't that your poem was too long
....
Yes
Yes
It was really too long
And repetitive
But hey, I am just an amateur
So keep up with the epics
And ignore the skeptics

I can tell you like
Everything about me
By the way you tease and taunt
Who would have though the one under your skin
Is the only one you want

Poetry is the art of taking a universal feeling, and making it personal to each individual.

I know it bothers your soul
That I can contact you
At any time
And you have no way to me
You just can't stand the fact
That I have become free
But really, you sit in my mind
And thus, I'm still enslaved
I think I may take these chains
With me right to the grave

You went so far out of your way to insult me
I couldn't help but take it as a compliment