Yay!
My poem sits at the top
Ah...the one most viewed
I have never felt so amazing
When I was not ****
But wait
Oh no
And there it goes
Shooting quickly down
The top and I barely had time
To get a proper greeting
It would seem the place on top
Is all too quickly fleeting.

Hey!
Today's your lucky day!
And let me tell you why...
Oh, I'm sorry
I was talking to that other guy

Ugh, that crazy boy
It could never last
I noticed he got an *******
Watching a show about big-mouthed bass

***** is the smartest thing
That does not have a brain
They can swim upriver
(And sometimes back, again)
Those little brainless buggers
Have so much to do
And thankfully they did it
To make me and you

I gave him a pile of crap
About how he was all wrong
We went back and forth
And then he wrote me a love song

Is there a more dismissive line
Than the word "fine?"
"How do I look, dear?"
"You look fine"
Oh baby, I just tossed you a line
You picked it up, and set it free
But you didn't even look at me

Oh you snooty, snooty man
Thinking you're so better than
Apparently the point you miss
If I didn't say, I'd be remiss
Thinking you're better than another
Proves you're just like any other

When you come across a person
And you can't say really why
But there's some sort of connection
And they make you fly
Mystical, maybe
Could be your baby
But there's some sort of reckoning
That keeps you checking
And they never let you down
That's the thing about the mystical
They are so **** magical
What more could you hope for in a guy?

I can see you cry in the rain
I can hear your burp, next to a train
I know you farted in a field of flowers
I can tell you're a **** with no toilet for miles

I am made of stardust.  
How freakin' poetic is that?!

I'm not sure I believe the story
About the three wise men
It sounds great, but I swear
I'm not sure there's ever been three wise men
Together anywhere

I'm thankful I'm going to their house, and I don't have to cook.

Today is a day
For family and fun
I can't wait
To see everyone
Not only because I miss them
But also because
I like a little humor
With my poetry
And if you knew my family
That's everything I see
So expect a bunch of writes
From me

You took up two spaces
With your motorcycle
Clearly on purpose
Maybe in your next life
You can come back as someone
Who is not a selfish *****

Maybe someday
We'll have Unthanksgiving
All the things that have ****** us off
In this life we're living
I've got whole list
I'm sure you do too
What in the world
Is an unthankful girl to do?
I've got no special day
To concentrate on the let downs
I suppose for just today
I'll walk around with a frown

Now they wear ball-huggers
They used to bust a sag
See, this is exactly what happens
When too many moms start to nag

****** spell check
Policing my moral thought
I cannot comment "****,"
Without spell check insisting it must be "shot"
Sometimes I'd like to say ****
When I don't mean duck
Spell check should be aware
Some people like to swear

The difference between
A lie and a fib
Is easy to find
A fib is when someone else's decision
Doesn't depend upon your answer
A lie is when someone decides based upon your lie

This guy done disappeared on me
Well, not exactly
But I'm feeling neglected
Although he owes nothing to me
When he comes back, he'll see this
And probably freak out
Wondering if I'm some ******
Who's gonna start to bug out
It's doubtful that I will
I'm way too level headed
But I'm not above a guilt trip
With men I haven't even bedded
Run, run, run
As fast as you can
Mr. I Hardly Know You Man

The thing is
God made the atheist, too
That's more a riddle, than a poem
Or maybe just an observation

I just can't keep my mouth shut
When I disagree
Silently listening to *******
Well, that's just not me
But I invite the same from you
Call me on it, please, please do
Let's all agree to refuse
To tolerate the ******* blues
If you encounter *******
Please get rid of it
Especially
If it's coming from me

When
You
Format
Your
Poem
Like
This
It
Makes
It
A
Pain
In
The
***
To
Read
And
It
Takes
Away
From
Your
Genius.
It
Would
Be
Like
Making
The
Stat­ue
Of
David
Six
Hundred
Feet
Tall
Just
Because

On this Thanksgiving, it's not about the delicious dishes
For me, it's all about those tender little-kid kisses

I don't know what is harder
Loving someone who doesn't love me, and will only spurn
Or having someone love me that I can not return.

Why do all the best die young
When mediocre  (like me) go like molasses
I guess it's down to science
Shooting stars burn out the fastest

Observer word server
Yep.
I'm a poet

He sat her down
Serious look
And held her hands in his
We braced ourselves for something
Whatever it is
"Mom," he said, "I am gay.  I can't change it. I've done all that I can
"Phew," she said, "I was so scared, you were going to say you were a Republican "

Forgiveness is one of the only things you give away
That must come with conditions upon the bearer
The condition is that your forgiveness must be unconditional
Once given, forgiveness includes the utter end of guilt trips
And the desire to require any further apologies
Forgiveness is irrevocable
Once given, you can't take it back
It always must remain
However, when you do forgive
There is so much you gain
Peace of mind, serenity, and one step closer to divinity

Watch out folks
We've got an uppity
Holier than you
Who seems to think he's got the right
To regulate what you do
Apparently he insists
None of us should post
Unless we've studied the poets
That he likes the most
Now, I'll admit, his taste is fine
And his choice of poets good
But knowing classic poetry
Is not what makes a poet, or should
Poetry has nothing to do
With all the poems you know
It's entirely about what's in your soul, and how you can make it show
So write, write, write
And share, share, share
Even if you've never read
Any single poet, except the one living in your head.

Let go of that *******
Who didn't love you back
Let go of that selfish *****
Who stabbed you in the back
Let go of those stupid kids
Who teased and taunted you
Let go of that pig face girl
Who picks on everything you do
Let go of that boy
Who lied and broke your heart
If you carry everyone who hurt you around
You're gonna need a bigger cart.

I'm not one of those people
Who can use
"Glorious Heavenly light from above"
Instead of the word "sunshine"
The moon, to me
Is just a moon
And not "a spectacular flowing heavenly orb which travels around our planet home"
I appreciate those who can do it
But it's too much work for me

Please do not lead
With your sexuality or race
I want something more than
Who attracts you
Or the color of your face
Tell me your dreams
And your nightmares
Give me what's laying inside
Give me something deeper
Than the hue of your shell
Or who you want to ride

Thank you, thank you
So much for this Earth
And my wonderful life, and all it's worth
Thank you, thank you
For all who I love
Sent to me from up above
Thank you for the birds and the bees
The sunsets over the golden seas
Thank you for this glorious life
But hey, it's not enough
I need bliss everlasting, free from strife
Without this awesome promise
I have no reason to worship you
In order for that
I need Earth, and Heaven, too

You must be a great poet
I wish that I could know it
The words you choose
Your unique way
I can't understand
A thing you say

Everyone told you he was a bad guy
And of course, why would they lie
Keep your distance, they all say
But you will not go down that way
You're too good, at the very least
You can tame that wild beast
But wild beasts are not for taming
And anonymous horses are not for naming
He left you less than what he found
Dug your ego into the ground
He did this to the next girl, too
And never, ever thinks about you
Still, you're stuck right on rewind
Until your heart, you can re-find
Come on, girl, please move past
Heart breaks are too sad to last
Next time everyone warns you away
Promise you'll refuse to stay

The way you down yourself, and allow those tears to pour
Remind me of a horse walking on three legs
When he could use all four

I call him "Beautiful"
He says, "no, nana, that's what you call a girl"
I said, "so let me ask you, Boo, is the sunrise a girl, too?"

I farted today in public
I did not have a choice
I'm pretty adept at farting
Without making any noise
I'd already farted
A couple times
And they'd passed the ol' smell check
So when I had to **** in the meeting
I thought "oh what the heck"
But this time it smelled
Like a beach at lowest ride
Ugh, why did I have to do this
When we were all inside
I wrinkled my nose
You know how it goes
And pretended it wasn't me
But how does one distance themselves
From a smell reeking so noxiously
I tried to look innocent
As a girl could be
I did all I could, short of saying
"Peeeeeyoooou, that wasn't me"

Tell me something new
Or at least something about you
Make me think, or **** me off
Stick a lump up in my throat
Move me, groove me
Make me hit that note
Disturb me
Stir me
Ride me, rock the boat
Put the shivers up my spine
Make me miss what once was mine
Give me something to relate
Make me feel I cannot wait
Bring the tears brim in my eyes
Make my heart grow super-size
Or wish upon a wistful dream
Believe in things I've never seen
Laugh or cry, and not know why
Wonder what it's like to die
This will not be easy for you to do
But as a poet, we expect this of you

I don't employ the thesaurus
To write my poetry
False airs are not invisible
It's not snooty words we seek
We want to feel the boiling of your blood
The heartsongs of your childhood
Loves you've lost
Loves you gained
Mistakes you'd never make again
Who took your virginity
And why'd you made that choice
What you someday hope to be
Sweetheart, use that vòice!
Be you, with words you know and use
What have you got to lose?

Your mind is so **** beautiful
In every single way
And I can't help but hang on
Every word you say
You make me float
You make me fly
Man, I wish you were my guy
But alas, I must accept
You don't belong to me
And I'm pretty sure your owner
Knows that she's so **** lucky
But if she ever forgets
And sends you away
On that very day
Please baby, come my way

You wonder what happened to
All those valley girls
They weren't very bright
But they entertained the world
They brought a little comedy
To cut through all the gloom
But what a sad tragedy
When they all gagged to death on spoons

I love my kids so much
And I'm sure they love me too
Having kids is an agreement
To have your heart forever walking outside of you
Those kids are so awesome
I'm proud of everything they do
There is only one thing
That could make me burn in shame
They better be good parents
Or change their **** last name

I wish I had a talent
That everyone could see
Something that smacked you in the face
With its undeniability
But I've got to realistic and sober
I'll settle for being mediocre

Twinkle shining grace
Butterflies whispy lace
Unicorns, faries, and stormy seas
Contemplative yous and mes
Star shine, moon, and
Lemondrop lace
Sail our ship all over the place
Laughter and giggles and filling with glee
Sadness, darkness,
Scraped up knee
Heart tug, lady bug
Someone pulling out the rug
Space junk, rock punk
And Billy the Kid
History, horses
Heartbreaking divorces
College courses, too
Don't forget about
The heartbreak of me and you
I think I've got it covered
The poem is done, of course
Anything I add now
I would just have to force

Heartbreak lends itself to poetry
The invisible pain we all can see

Is it just me
Or is it silly
To call it a needle "eye"
What do we do
But poke the thread through
And plus, it's silly, guy
Of all things to put on a needle
Why would it be an Eye?

I see we've finished, though barely started yet
Apparently your motto is
Keep it short and sweat

It surprises me
When someone changes gender
They change their name
To something more "gender appropriate"
Apparently
Names are not as gender fluid as humans

What do you say to the girl
Considering *** for the first time
She wants to know what it's like
And will it make her heart shine
Will it be tender, oh so movingly
No, I said, it's pretty gross,
And when you do get some
It's  a lot like sliding  straight
Down a staircase on your naked, sweaty ***.