Come on, baby
I gotcha number
I know you got mine, too
So many swishy, squishy things
The two of us could do
Dig our toes into the sand
Get lost all night in Neverland
Get beamed up, and Scotty too
(Though we'll ditch him, it's only us two)
Find some old time sweet beat box
Dance until we wear out our socks
Hit the ol' pinball machine
And at the pool table we try to keep it clean
Laugh and dance until nearly two
First dates gotta end sometime boo.

The most absolutely amazingly sexiest thing men ever say to me is, "I am married, and I don't cheat on my wife."

Do you know I think about you
When you're not around
Do you know that you're a king
You should be wearing a crown
Do you know your hearty soul
Is stew that feeds my heart
Do you know I picture you
In Yellow Submarine art

Smart guys are so **** ****
I love their beautiful minds
I want to explore every one of them
And figure my favorite kind
He'll always keep me interested
He'll always wear a smile
There's no one like a smart guy
To time with for a while

It's a hold on my brain
But also it's opposite
In that it is expanding what was there
Not a hold, but still....a hold
In that my brain goes there more than anywhere else
It could be that time looses the reins
Or takes them to it's chest
Either or, I'm looking forward.
(Ps...I put that looses there on purpose.  I know it ain't right)

"Sometimes, I guess, there just aren't enough rocks."
-Forrest Gump

Perhaps we will finally accept
The true cost deforestation
When trees evolve to scream as we cut them down

Nobody has ever died of broken heart
That was not done by their own hand
Broken hearts are not terminal
But they can convince you that they are
Broken hearts are cured by time
Or by being blown off course

It's beautiful, really
The intricate, tiny bright-blue lighted pattern
Wee a-splatter
Sneezing on my phone

Throughout history, humankind has made little more than fairytales into deities.  In fact, the most advanced civilizations have done this.  I'm not saying that's what we're doing now, but it wouldn't be the first.

There is a difference between an insult
And constructive criticism
When you can discern this
No matter your age
You have become an adult
This also includes some into senior citizenship
Who have yet to attain adulthood

Cutting out those who disagree
Is the path to inner destruction
Nobody is right all the time
There are only those who
Think they are always right
Ever notice how they would rather
Ex people out, than prove their theory?

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words can never hurt me
What a crock of ****

It's hard for me
As a lover of the written word
To see a grammar mistake
And not point it out
Not because I want to be a know it all
But because I want others to know it, too.

The truth is easier to recognise
When written in a prose
Though you can choose to swallow
Or blow it out your upturned nose

If you want people to like your poem, you can't force it more than once
You can go with the obvious,
And even go all a flourish
But no more than once each
You can scrap a tap
On a dark, desolate path, haunted by furious ghosts
But don't bring it home on the same path so winding, you get lost in your landscaping, and desperately claw at whatever is available.

I'm a minimalist poet
Without pantomime
Or a suit of any kind
Other than sweat
Sometimes I'm tie dye
Sometimes I'm rainbow
But I'm usually colorful
I'm honestly rude
Rudely honest
And often annoying.

Get over ya bad self
I knew you'd be a zing bat
I saw you
In a t-shirt that said M-I-L-F.

I've decided I want to be a huwoman being.  This is my identity.

When I look at human habitation on Earth, I can't help but wonder if it could be most closely compared to the way cockroaches might inhabit a kitchen.  Leaving **** around all over the place...hanging out in clusters, but taking from everything.  Just something to think about.  I'm not sure it's poetic, but if it is, it's surely depressingly so.  Can't help but wonder if it's an omen, or a poem.

I've decided I want to be a unicorn
Is there yet a term for a human who no longer identifies as human?

Is it against the "rules"
To comment without giving a thumbs up?
(I commented on someone's poem, and she sent me a private message about how rude it was to comment, when I hadn't given it a like.  I told her to just delete my comment.)  I'm interested in your opinion.  Is it an unwritten rule to only comment on poems you "like?"  If so, I stand corrected.

Covering your hands with glue
Letting it dry, to peel it off, like a thin layer of skin
Sticking pins through the top layers of your fingertip skin, to make a wimpy Freddie Kruger
Watching hydrogen peroxide bubble on your scrape
And then, picking off the scab
Unbending a paperclip, to fashion a makeshift retainer for your teeth
Swinging your arms around in the sideways helicopter, so it can make you run faster
I'm sure I'll be adding to this in the comments.  Please add too, if you can think of anything

I am a dog, my name is Lulu
My owner keeps putting me in this pink tutu
All the other dogs,
They laugh and they scorn
It's the dumbest dog outfit
That's ever been worn

If you have a problem with my breast
Covered by the head of my feeding child
Maybe you shouldn't look at my chest
Man! That suggestion is wild!

Trying to change that man
Is like trying to ******* with your non-dominant hand
It's only going to end in frustration

I see you going after him
Flirtacous, bubbly
Gettin' under his skin
All well and good
He goes home to his wife
You're a temporary distraction
From his partner for life
It's a lonely existence
Though you can pretend
Honey, that marriage
Ain't gonna end

I lost my baby daughter
She was two months old
And for many years
My heart stayed very cold
Then I finally realized
All good people He lets in
But He only makes angels
Of those who live and die without sin

You say you hate his guts
Yet he's in all your poems
You talk of all his girlfriends
Yet you sit home alone
You count them off by name
Your own misery list
You can't ignore the facts
And we all get the gist
Why you think about this guy
Who has caused you so much pain
It's like setting yourself up
For an emotional drain
Loving someone who hurts you so bad
I have to wonder if maybe you're mad
It's just that you should know it is true
He may be the foe
But the enemy seems to be you

I'd invite anyone
Who's experienced this phenomenon
To come forward and tell me I'm wrong
You can pull that wishbone apart
And get the bigger half
But your wish will never come true
A waste of time to even ask

If you ever want a good laugh
Sit next to a toddler who sees breastfeeding for the first time
And then, try explain it to him
Guaranteed for a laugh

God, in Her infinite wisdom
Made spiders very small
I think I speak for everyone...
"Thank you, from us all!"

Leave me to my ****** mood
So I can sit and cry and brood
So do not try to cheer me up
I'm mad about my half-empty cup
If you attempt to make me smile
It will surely **** me off
I want to be angry for a while
And sit around and scoff
So get your happy away from me
It's really an insult
From joy, I want to be free
This is my misery assault

Uuuuiuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!  Dangnabbit!

It came out
All tickly and far
Until people started pointing
And this is exactly why
You don't pick your nose in the car

Back in the day
They had prophets
Now, we just have mental health patients

Please, don't take it so seriously
It's only poetry
In your poem
You can count
Twelve, six, three
You can make the sky green
Or Mother Theresa mean
You can create anything
Maybe make dogs sing
You can misspell words
However you choose
It's your world
You can't lose
It's your poetry
Don't take it so seroousLee

That boy
He drives me nuts
He's the cloud of gnats who get stuck in my ear
He's the patch of ice that sent me down on my rear
He's the kid in third grade
Who pulled my pigtail
He's the buggar the postman left
On my mail
He's stuck to me, now
All slimy and goo
I wonder if he's thinking of me too

I'm not sure what is worse
Being under the influence
Or being under influenced

I been seeing lots of  poets
Walking through strawberry fields.  
Well....we already been there and done that
Take us somewhere new.

All the flowers in the field
See the little girl
Making her selection
"Pick me, pick me!"
They cry out
With their silent voices
"Where are they going?"
The littlest flower asked
"I don't know," said one
"Away from all this grass"

That guy who said, "parting is such sweet sorrow,"
Should have consulted a dictionary.

When you love someone
Their voice sounds like a Beatles concert
Put on just for you

Get over yourself
Swollen head Boo
I can see how your biggest fan is you
I respect confidence
But you take it too far
Your ego's much greater than you really are
You are pretty good
I will admit
But honey, you ain't got the patent on
Being The ****
Believe that your special
I'm all for that
But your greatness don't need to make others flat
There is room at the top
For more than you two
(And by "you two," I mean
Your ego and you)

The problem is, too many people start off too many sentences without saying, "I believe."  Bunch of people acting like they don't know the difference between opinion and fact.  
Now watcha think of  that

Yeah, she was a ******
But I gotta give her props
That Bonnie, back when females were always second-class
She hung around with ****** Clyde
And she was such a villain
But ya gotta respect her
That girl got herself top billing

Oh baby,
Something has been bothering you
I can tell by the things you don't do
You used to make yourself so fine
So pretty, I used to wish you were mine
You used to be so sweet and fun
But now, when I see you, I think "RUN!"
You used to laugh all the time
You used to be so **** fine
You used to make my heart do flips
But now, ****, it barely trips
So tell me....why do you
Look like you're in such a bad mood
Is there something I can do?

He went in to the plastic surgeon
With a strange request
The surgeon agreed, though
This would be his biggest test
It had never been done
But the man was quite down-hearted
He really, really wanted
To get that finger enlargement

I think he's got a crush on me
But he's too shy to admit
But I'm pretty sure he likes me
Because he keeps talking ****

You're so ******* yourself
Don't give yourself an inch
Punch yourself in the eye
When you deserve a pinch
Can't you see how awesome you Are?
Well, I sure do
I think it's time you realize
There's so much right with you
(You know who you are)