Goodbye hello poetry. It was nice knowing you, and you've helped me through a lot of tough times. Unfortunately, you're starting to cause me more problems. I'll miss you.

You don't deserve me, as a friend.
All I ever do is hurt.
I hurt you; I hurt me.
I am constantly empty;
constantly broken.
You deserve better than that.
Someone whole,
who you can laugh with;
smile with;
dream with.
Someone who hasn't been to battle with the world.
You don't deserve me.
You deserve so much more.

I'm sorry for the way that I am;
For all of my flaws, all of my insecurities.
I'm sorry for the way that I am;
The way I gravitate towards you,
the way I light up when I see you.
I'm sorry for the smile that plasters across my face
when you tell a story.
For the way I think about you always,
writing thousands of words to try to describe you.
For how I instantly miss you,
craving your voice,
craving your warmth.
I'm sorry that I constantly sing
the notes of your name.
I wish you could hear the melodies I can create.
I'm sorry for always trying to be happy,
but failing regularly.
I'm sorry for being kind,
caring too much,
and hoping for a better tomorrow.
I'm sorry for being jealous.
For all the times I was too protective,
for the times I watched you cry and didn't grab your hand;
For the long letters I've written you,
the pictures I was too shy to take,
and for losing who you used to be.
I'm sorry for not being enough for you.
For being so dark, such a tortured soul.
For the scars on my wrist,
the imperfection of my body,
the half hearted smile.
For letting myself care too much.
I'm so sorry;
So sorry, for the way that I am.

Sometimes, when I watch you fall asleep; and you bring your hands close to your chest and tuck your head towards your shoulder..

                  I just want to have you hold me.

Not for any reason other than I feel so vulnerable all of the time. For once, I just want to feel so safe, be so warm. I just want to let go of everything else and hold onto you.

                  *I just want to have you hold me.

I don't think it's your fault
                         that you don't know how to help me.

I don't think it's your fault
                         that I feel like you are




*watching



                                                             ­                    me




drown.