She stands idly by while they throw insults at me
Never did I know I cruel she could be
Oh ,now look ...she's laughing along
Not caring if what she does will hurt me for the long

She intentionally goes against my wishes and does it anyway
And I realize it was purposely aimed to achieve my decay
I am dying now because I thought I could trust
her
But never. Never did I know how much pain inside me she could muster

She ignores me when I need her ...when I'm feeling down
And I'm stuck here ,standing, looking pathetically at the ground
I thought she would stop .We agreed she would
But she just abandoned me because she always knew that she could

I always crawl back. I always forgive
But i can't do this anymore
Such a painful way to live
I've decide I'm done with her
Ive promised myself that its was over
If it keep putting myself through her games
I know there'll come a day I won't be able to recover

So many secrets
too many to hide

one day they'll consume me
one day they'll pour out
one day ill be free to live the truth
one day ill be happy with no more lies
ive hurt so many people
too many to count
but only so many have knowledge
of the destruction I've caused
So few know of torture and games
ive inflicted on them

So many secrets
too many to hide

Some day ill crack and the truth will leak
some day ill be honest and good and selfless
some day I will have nothing left to hide
some day ill live without fear of exposure
How do I get there?
I want that right now
someone show me the way
so I can stop all this pain
its raging inside me
the damage ive done
and theres no way I can fix it only correct it
correct the errors in my ways
to prevent it in the future

So many secrets
too many to hide
take them away
im bursting on the inside
send me to sleep
for I am a reckless abuser
and when trying to avoid the temptation
I am always the loser

I am crippled
I cannot not walk
I need some aid
But not from these folk
I crawl to a wheelchair
and try to sit down
but to my surprise
the wheels turn the chair around

Desperate, empty, cold
I am drowning in the tears of alone
Struggling to climb up from the pit of despair
But I am weak and have lost the will to keep trying
My efforts force me down under
Less that where I started  
Any remnants of hope have vanished
Along with my belief in true happiness
This life is a scam
Forcing pain and misery down your throat and giving you no compensation for the struggles  you face
There is no brighter tomorrow
No light at the end of the tunnel
Just the gaping abyss of anguish
Wretched be me
For I have realized there is no joy
Not in this desolate composition of sorrow                            
So now I say to you            
Dont be fooled                              
The wise see what is truly there    
And I see darkness

My eyes meet the Sun everytime I drift asleep
Ironic because what happens usually is
When you fall asleep all you see is a darkness
Everytime my mind is supposed to take a break from life instead
Im able to see things more clearly with a new light
whenever my mind is not directly focused on something
I am able to realize more about everything