I’d poison my own heart
If only to see you smile
while watching it happen

I once kept a cage for my words
they were living things
now I spit them out
like lofty paper airplanes
thoughts amok
flung aimlessly into drywall
inanimate anticipation
sputter and flicker

he said it was yellow
let me paint my walls
view life
through golden bands
I'll be yellow.

not enough
nothing, everything
maybe too much matters
I get lost somewhere in between
trapped inside
a suspended state of tension
know me, slowly
softly sway
float through
a warm glow
frozen solid
soul to core

Take crayons to the corners of my world
Tell me what I am
Expand my edges
See what I become
I have never felt so small
Let me move you
I’ll show you where to put the lines

memories leave an impression lasting
longer than the ones who made them
I carry years worth of dead-weight
a state of mind
prepackaged into something
far from beautiful
talented at shape-shifting objects
I can drop nouns
boxes, things, people
perhaps my being

She tells me we wouldn't have known any better
if we had stayed
our hearts would have known nothing greater
imaginations longed for nothing more
and aspirations happily contained within
the boundaries of our existence
ocean and the mountains
two hours in either direction
we could have never left
yet now my bones ache with a secret sense
and I feel at home in my older skin
only after tasting the freedom of the unknown