I'm fighting with myself
chaos encompassing all those around
caught in my mess
who cares anyway
take a breath
and live
another day
or week
or month
replay the same mistakes I've made
maybe I'll start with a smile
perhaps a new approach
to these same problems
I find within myself
but that's just how it goes
and goes and goes and goes
all wrong
until it spins out of control
and I have new wreckage
with out of date technology and techniques to help out

She falls asleep
with make up pressed from eyes, and lips, and skin
transferring to a pillow
lashes upon her being
lacking its protectionist layer
file a lawsuit
missing it’s case
she didn't care

(How much can it hold?)
Lawyers won’t take
chances on a basket case
And parents follow suit
She only woke twice that night
In case you want to know
abstract dreamers can't take form
when visionaries lock them in silent nights
Suit yourselves

I am lying in my bed
Popcorn ceiling above my eyes
Sitting in on private thoughts
Not meant for me to know
And I feel pain and I feel heartbreak
Though none is for myself
I shouldn’t be here
in my room
Catching late night conversations
Shared between two who know love
I’ve never discovered
In two weeks they’ll never sleep alone
I guess I will
My role a witness
Present behind headphones
I dare not turn the music off

blood moon in the distance
drinking cider by the courthouse
blowing out the speakers and the candles
I wish it all away
with the autumn leaves
I leave in winter

In terms of ideologies
and personal philosophies
I find myself lacking
Critical talents born of creation
Leaving me in space
Without A North Star direction
To hang upon my sky
Forcing me to navigate without a proper guide
I seem to disappear in a world not mine to hide

A paradox of choice
I feel inspired, if not lost to total isolation
moments spent wandering overcome those of wondering
I'm only me eight hours to the day
my options dwindle as accomplishments grow