my body is deteriorating
faster than my thoughts of you

Tall, lanky smiling edge lord blessed with hair gifted to him from the gods
Hides his voluminous locks everyday under a hat
He’s nautical
Sweaters.
Thinks with his heart and not his head
The way he stops abruptly to gasp
(It’s more of a squeal)
Is he hurt or did he see a dog?
they melt his heart
(It melts mine)
Dreams of a family
His own to love
A child with special needs
Drinks chocolate milk with any meal
Texts me anytime there’s a sunset worth watching
(Which is every night)
Plans road trips around them
Aspiring musician in secret
Buys presents weeks prior to Christmas for everyone
expects none in return
Scowls with sarcastic delight
laughing at my jokes
(Ok I stole them from him)
“You better believe it!”
Poor taste in hockey teams
(Seriously, he likes the senators)
The senators
Such a goofball
Don’t be fooled, he’s a
Romantic
He met me when I was alone

But I know he was lonely too.

I swear if you yell at me one more time saying we’re leaving in thirty seconds—I’ll just take a full twenty nine

floating little bodies of restless energies
sugar bound
half-crazed still beating wings
only visible in vibrations
timid to the world they're caged in
a tiny flutter heart
I find myself wanting

Take a sip
Lean back casually
Open arms
Lazy smile of warm complacency
Allow eyes to dance captivating
Enough to cloak the cracks to the left
Focus on my pleasantries
If I pay them no mind it will be enough
Outsiders drift attention
No no no don’t look behind the curtain
Ask me another question I don’t care enough to craft a real answer
Two ears for a reason
conversations to follow
Face forward failing to distract
Another church scene ruined
The crowd thins
Voices of hysteria rise
Broken
Judgement
Take another sip
I’ve lost count