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kaycog Jul 2017
throwing pine cones
in the river
these dang rocks
are stacking up
like the odds
that are against me
as I'm pining
after thoughts
kaycog Jun 2017
Every day I feel lonely I go out
and search for a rock
so I have something to show for my misery
and to quantify my pain
but over time
I used these rocks to build up a  wall
that turned into a tower
and now I'm trapped inside myself
kaycog Jun 2017
I want the months to pass
please don't let tomorrow come
I wait for the day to drift
as the hours hang over me
I wish away weekends
what am I doing it for?
I wake up early again
again I can't fall asleep
it's all relative, repetitive
they say it's good for me
I'm miserable.
why isn't it enough?
kaycog Jun 2017
And maybe I'm vain
But to me it's just love
Cause I'll take what I can get
You don't mean it, it's enough
kaycog Jun 2017
they say to give in secret
and so I do
you say I'm not giving
it makes me sad
when I do give
and you praise another
for my hidden efforts
you say I don't give
but I'm giving in
to self doubt
and I'm this close to giving up
so if that's not giving
then I don't know what is.
kaycog Jun 2017
No.
The things I whisper to myself:
You are not entitled to my thoughts
You have no jurisdiction over my actions
You cannot control my emotions
and yet,
I have to apologize to myself in secret for apologizing to you out loud.
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