Judge me in that final moment
I deserve my childish fate
Stick in pins and I won't feel it,
Purgatory won't have to wait.
I've been there all the time we've talked,
I called you from its darkest bank.
You didn't know my disposition,
Drowning, further still I sank.
It's okay to doubt my heart —
A piteous thing with little nerve.
It blisters in the fire, it sickens,
Your scorn is all that I deserve.
So take care and walk away,
I hope good fortune finds you soon.
Leave me with my tilted mind,
Howling underneath the moon.

My actions have a name —
Social Suicide
A cannibalistic act.
Burrowing deep
into the earth
Where the dead lay twitching.
Unhook myself from the past,
The people I knew,
Counted as friends.
They never grieved my loss,
Superficial love kills quickly.
Ain't it funny?
Can't sleep anymore,
I just wander in the dark
Till morn.
The moon and stars
Looking down,
they won't miss me either.

I hid you under layers
Bright lies I told myself
In order to forget.
The words you sent
Once catalogued & treasured
Stopped my progress
Or the days that passed.
My eyes closed
Trying to unthink you —
A ghost in the attic,
The pain I can't be without.
I erased emails.
Messages.
Phone numbers.
My heart. My soul.
Yet you still remain.

You’ve followed me for far too long
Your hold on me is far too strong
Engrained in me at far too young
Meshed with my psyche, we appear as one

The parasitic tendencies are hidden so well
I keep you well-nourished in this living hell
If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have survived
I’ve bought into your truth and kept you alive

You hide in the depths just waiting to strike
Black cloak and dagger in broad daylight
You’re an expert at killing the fight within
You go by the name Victim and always win

You’ve worn me so well for so many years
Stricken me with grief and brought me to tears
Never out of style and first in your class
Owning the runway, can’t compete with your sass

You fit just like a glove over nail bitten fingers
Lost in despair as your deception lingers
I want to be free of the stories you sell
But I just can’t undress as I wear you so well