I'm just a ****** that lost control,
dug myself an even deeper hole.
All these drugs will take their toll,
eating away at the good in my soul.

Darkness calls and it sounds so sweet,
walks on over and takes me off my feet,
he whispers to me and its such a treat.
I don't think addiction will ever leave me.

It's not a habit with this i have no control
This is something I cant get up the nerve to tell no
I need it as i rub my legs 2gether wanting a fix
All im needing is one hit
Then for a while my mind will be free
It will float in the air passing through the trees
Without it in my body there is a friction
What i have is an addiction
Cant stop moving without it i have no ease
The thought of my addiction buckles my knees
It gives me shattering teeth and goose bumps
Knowing the addiction is too much
Wanting to have control but it wont let me
Never wanting this addiction to leave
It solves problems that i don't want to understand
Time consuming addiction needing a helping hand
Sleep never comes when i have not fed my craving
For it i go begging,pleading,prowling,and slaving
A habit no; much more complex
Wondering how im gonna come up with the next
A hard ******* from me rise when i see it
Knowing i want it **** i need it
My addiction
Soft complexion smile is light
usually go on the prowl for it early mornings and late at night
I cook it up with my own hands as i mold it to my liking
And when i get it just right i slice it
knowing that i  want it but i have to make it want me too
knowing that my addiction is you

Because we want to fit in--
tough to sleep.
Because we want to experiment--
eyes glassy and bloodshot.
Because we want to escape--
heart racing
Because we want to relax--
losing weight.
Because we want to rebel--
can't sleep
Because it feels good--
giving up friends, giving up family
Because we're anxious, angry and alone without it--
car crashed, fell, burned, drowned.
Because we crave it--
withdrawals.
Because we can't stop--

The monsters
They don't sleep
Underneath the bed
Oh no, all those monsters
Are sleeping in your head
Except, they aren't
Really asleep
At all.
They are
Screaming and
Clawing and tearing
At your mind. They bruise
And blunder through your
Thoughts until you
Can't tell if
They are
Yours.
And you
You are so
Unrecognizable.
Even to yourself you
Are someone totally different
I guess you're a monster, too.
Because you fought
Hard and Long.
But you
Lost.

I have fondled addiction,
ran my young fingers around its
moist mouth, inhaled its deep
aroma that lightens my steps,
sours my breath.

I have brushed my finger
on the top of it, tasted
its deviously sweet side-
lips slightly parched
and aching for more.

I have never dove in
head first, been blinded
by the darkness at the bottom,
but I have waded on the surface,
feet slowly descending
until I pull them up.

i used to believe i was getting
better, but now i realize that i
never was. i have become an
addict, but not to a drug or
something of the sort. i am
addicted to my sadness and now
there is no hope left. you can't
save the damsel who's in love with
her distress. you can't beat the
villian when the villian has become
your only true compainion. you
can't get rid of the one thing that
has become all of you. you can't
and you never will.