I'm afraid to shut my eyes,
I'm terrified I'll see you there
in my dreams
again

I want so bad to tell my mom
why I want to stay up late
I want so bad to confess to her
the reason I hardly ate

I want to cry
and tell her whats wrong
but I've held it all in
for so long

I'm praying, I am actually praying
if anyone will listen
take this from me
take it off of my chest

because **** it
I'm doing my best
I keep thinking
that I don't deserve this

To be haunted
by a monster
that takes and takes and takes
and walks freely
unaware or maybe just uncaring of
the mess that he makes

Please
I just want to sleep
if it's not to much to ask
let my dreams be mine to keep

I found out something funny about the world today,
when your life is going good
something tends to stain it grey

It seems like when your tears finally dry,
tricks are pulled to break you down
and make you cry

Whether it's a nightmare that brings every hidden scar to the surface,
or the departure of a close friend
it breaks through my inner barriers
so I can't pretend

I watch everyone else's pain
and take it in like my own,
I think misery
has become my new home

And every time I lose faith
in myself
in my family
in the human race

I find it that much harder to pick myself up,
wonder why I even care
so much

I take the good things
and make them bad
I take a happy moment
and twist them sad

I just wish there was a place for peace
where I was alone
Somewhere that actually
felt like a home

A place where it didn't hurt like this
a place where ignorance
truly is bliss.

Clink Clash
The metallic clang of swords colliding
echoes throughout the rolling hills
My brothers lay strewn
across the crimson stained grass

Clink Clash
My chest heaves
as I cut down every man in my path
A Raven soars up above in the skies
watching over my fallen brothers
and taking their souls to the next side

The sun beats down hard
on my bare shoulders
Metal against my flesh
I feel the heat searing into my skin

Fight!*
They yell
To the Death!
They cry

Without a regard or regret
I carry my sword into the enemies heart
With hope that the angels
will greet me in my death

The Raven above swoops low
and shrills out a cry
a sound that resonates
over the hills

And I feel the cold metal
cut through my fragile flesh barrier
and pierce my heart

To my knees
I drop
with my head raised to the sky
I cry out

Just remember us
I whisper softly

The stars sleep
wrapped in their black silky blankets
Unaware of the wishes
made upon them

Tucked in by the sun
and the moonlight their beacon of protection
like the door left cracked open
and the search beneath the bed

They dream unaware
of the horrors happening
just below their delirious forms

Naive stars don't see
the midnight terrors
that happen
beneath their sniffling noses

Protected by their firm imaginations
that everything's alright
Assured that there's nothing to fear
in the night.

Long pale fingers
dance across the old white piano keys
A sorrowful melody sings

The room is lit in candles
like a dream
and the darkness swells with passion
what does this mean?

One step towards you
feels like two steps back
how can I love you
when you can't love me back

The rain outside
covers the pain I hide
as I dance around the room

This mansion built on top of hopeless fears
is empty as I yell for you
no one hears

I just keep dancing
to the song you play
each note remains
in my head

I keep falling for the same thing
over again

You're the one that torments my dreams
and strings my heart along
with the same old
dance
and same old
song

I'm just a lonely spirit
drifting in this memory
of when you were the beast
and I was the beauty

I want to get off this train
that drives me to and from my pain
It's a ride that lasts a life time
and you won't get off alive.

I miss the days I didn't fight this way
crying for the days I didn't run away
the days where the sun did shine
and my life was fine.

I'm a drama flick that runs forever
a heart as light as a feather
but my hearts not whats at steak
it's my brain that makes these mistakes.

One minute I feel alright
the next I can't survive the night
I'm holding on by my finger tips
God forbid my grip may slip.

Where I fall right into my grave
and become the broken teen never saved
the young one lost so soon
it's a cry for help of adolescent doom.

No I'm just sick of the black and the white
there's no grey left in sight
no in between for the likes of us
so why not give up?

Why do I even try
when I really rather die
maybe I'm just a *******
and live for the pain I suffer from as I exist.

I asked myself,
why am I proud of being a Human being?
For a while I didn't know
I could only think of all the wrong I'm seeing
painted in blood on the ivory snow.

I thought to myself,
humans are weak and afraid of the truth,
we hurt others to appease ourselves.
People use lies in place of solid proof,
for golden trophy's placed on their shelves.

I watched
as people laughed and hurt one another
for something as invaluable as fame.
And as I did I felt guilty
to be apart of a race put to shame.

I watched
as bravery was described as a man behind a gun
killing in the name of "peace"
I saw people hating and judging for fun
because that was what looked good at the time.

I saw death
on the news, in the papers, on the streets
and cried as the blood was spilled
I watched people fighting one another
for a position so irrelevant being filled.

I watched gangs go to war
because he's black and he's white
I saw people excluding one another
because she prefers dark while she prefers light.

But when I flipped to the next page
I saw that they held out their hand
to people in need
They gave their knowledge to those who didn't understand
and take in those that they feed.

I saw a smile in the crowd
when hope was not in sight
and I saw a warring man
put down his gun in that fight.

I watched them build a neighbor's house
when the going got tough
I saw them lend a shoulder
when the days got to rough.

I saw another man preach
when we needed a change
and I saw another one accept
when the other was strange.

We'll never be utopia
no but we can try to be